I may just have found my LP? - backstory - ( TLDR ADDED )

[mmKay]

I've completed the LP course about a year ago, and I've been chipping away at it for over 4 years since I purchased it . Looking back at it honestly, I gave it a 60% effort, but that's what I could do with the level of motivation I was dealing with at the time .

 

My main problem with it  was that I seriously lack life experience. I'm now 23 turning 24 soon and I've spent most of my life:

At school  - mentally derping out

Playing videogames - derping out more

Watching YT vids  - further derping out .

I simply lack life experience. IDK what I like or I could like because I have not lived profoundly or actively enough. How can I commit to something or choose something that I want my life to be about if I don't know what there is to choose from?

So:

I loved thinking about how to develop myself since I still was in School. I was thinking and reading about how to improve myself before I knew there existed a Personal Development comunity or a Personal develpment aisle in the book store.

I wanted to study psychology but I quit before I even started because I felt repulsed by the current academic structure ( emphasis on memorization , grades , lack of nuance in teaching each individual, etc )

I told myself that I don't want to study mental sickness. I want to study Personal development. But there is no major in that.

 

I said I'd do it myself.

 

But being just a 18yr old man-child, with no paying skills besides waiting tables and knowing a few languages, over time I got lost all over the place:

I got stuck in a 9-5 . Also a Dark night of the soul left me in a routine of going to work and going back home to lay in my bed for more than a year. I developed a degree unconditional happiness that hindered my motivation to do many things, and I also dropped the fear of death to a healthy 10% of what it was. I had developed some eating disorders and I got back into videogames, and much more .

 

Fast forward after dealling with all that chaos I'm more grounded than ever. I explored and contemplated and journaled and experienced and read and asked.

Now I know what my values are, what things I like doing, what impact feels meaningful to me , what my strenghts and weaknesess are, what my fears and dreams are. what my bucket list is, what I aspire to...

All of this to go full circle.

I want the core of my life to be about Personal development. I'm simply fascinated by the scope of the field. I truly feel it is the most meaningful thing I can do with my life. Anything else feels like a waste of time or procrastination.

I did discover many things that I like ( Singing, Vlogging, video directing, Animation, Stand-up . . .  ) but they arent the main course.

 

I had the belief from the very beggining that I don't want to become a Personal development Guru because that is so vanilla. Another one of those wannabe Life Coaches? Another Leo copycay?

I was laughing at my teachers in school because they went through school and university to go back to school to teach the same shit in a strangeloopy way.

 

But it turns out I'm okay with deepening my Personal Development wisdom  with the intent of applying it to my own life and then " teaching" or comunicating the insights in my unique way. 

It is a saturated market but I would still do it If it brought me no money. I thought many times what I'd do if I had limitless money.

 

I would sit on a chair in a busy  street with a sign that says " tell me your problems " .

 

TLDR : 
 

Contemplation and sharing Insight is the core of my life.

I want to help others to help themselves by providing them wisdom, insight and mental tools that they can apply if they desire to improve aspects of their lives.

How ? One on one and by videos / Vlogs. The voice is my prefered medium. I will develop eloquence  and use it to comunicate wisdom applied to people's circumstances.

I value Wisdom + Playfulness + Connection  and it all merges into Teaching and Sharing wisdom.

As simple as that.

It feels 8/10 congruent. Work in progress.

It may sound kinda vanilla. Do I care? nah.

I'm still astonished by the clarity this has given me.

 

See you around.

 

Edited October 1, 2021 by mmKay