Prescription pills and my inner self

[goldpower123]

WARNING (I am not saying don't use prescription pills, they should definitely be used in cases of emergency)

I was on them for 2 weeks, to get me to sleep. This took a toll on my spiritual self and energy big time. I felt like the medicine exaggerated the problem, when really it was a personal issue not a mental one. I felt un natural, my circadian rhythm turned upside down, I had chemically induced manic highs and lows. I felt these pills were against mother nature and the correct wiring of the brain. I no longer had an accurate perception as well. I was numbed to direct truth of reality, I felt like reality wasn't physical (which is true at the core) but I felt the emptiness/void more, not the stud, of reality so to speak. I was also numbed to my inner self and found my personality change to become more judgmental and selfish, less true, compassionate and good. I was amazed at what I was tolerating on my consciousness due to being more emotionally numb. After I came off then I thought to myself wow I feel like it attracted low vibrational frequencies and thoughts.

I learned a few things going through this. I'm no guru at all, nor am I perfect at all, this is simply what I believe.
- Life is suffering and the job seems to be escape suffering, become free of the separate "I" or self, attachment.
- It is possible to inflict suffering on your own self, the mind is extremely tricky and will use anything to destroy you. My huge mistake was assuming my own mind can be TRUSTED. Fuck that. The "law of attraction" is always in motion so every step of your life you created. You will be aware of what you're doing to yourself, wrestling with your own self. The worst suffering where you are aware of what you're doing to yourself, because you once self loved, you know who you truly are.
- When it feels there is no where to turn, don't turn at all. Turn inward. Call on God.
- Fear is what makes humans incapable of love, how can you truly love when you're crippled in fear and survival. This is deeply profound to realize that there is a spiritual component to the human experience and love is our ultimate truest nature, and you see everything in this world is to destroy the humans from love and their selves. We naturally are deserving of love, of truth, and the forces that be are doing everything to trick us and get us away from our real selves and destroy us. Face your demons, go the opposite direction. It's not what you DO, it's what you don't do, go against the grain to heal your self.

I have been off them for about 10 to 15 days, at the beginning I started to feel great and then around day 10 I could feel another withdrawal secretly coming up. This turned out to be a spiritual purification process and was very negative/uncomforting, but now I feel like a totally different person. I feel different inside my own body, cleaner, and closer to my real natural self.