the Danger of Being an Introvert

[Max8]

how to stop being an introvert? 

i know i should socialize or talk to more people but I don't find it easy or fun or interesting, to begin with 

which is by definition what makes an introvert 

the reason i even want to stop being an introvert is that i lately been struggling with severe anxiety and depression which i believe it's caused by autism or Asperger syndrome which is what i got tested positive for .

i was an introvert pretty much ever since i hit puberty and now I'm 23 i have zero friends 

not that i can't but i tend to avoid making friends for some reason that im not sure about.

 

 

[Imponderable]

I had to force myself to be more social as an introvert.  For me walking straight into the fear helped the most.  It takes practice and daily action.  It's not enjoyable, but it helps and gets easier over time.  

You can be an introvert and have great social skills.  My understanding of being an introvert means you draw energy from situations where you are alone.  Extroverts draw their energy when around others in social situations.  Extroverts typically have an easier time with social skills, but not always.  There are many extroverts who are super annoying and even though they can easily talk to others they do not do it well.  Be a proud introvert know when you need time alone to recharge, but develop those social skills.

Couple things that helped me -  lifting weights for energy and confidence.  Better diet.  I would pretend that I was a social person and would strike up short conversations with strangers as often as I could.  Caffeine make talking easier.  Watched videos and read books on socializing.  Was truly interested in the other person & encouraged them to talk about themselves.  Smile more.  Awkward situations are not the end of the world, I learned to just laugh at myself.  Don't talk down to yourself if you mess up.  Be kind to yourself.  There is no quick fix it's just a long grind, stick to it and things will change for the better.  

Improving my social skills changed my life.  I am much less anxious and things are easier to deal with.  Good luck!

Edited October 1, 2021 by Imponderable

[Roy]

Volunteer somewhere, anywhere. It will be one of the best decisions you can ever make. I started when I was 18 after being forced to to get my 40 community hours to graduate high school, but it was so awesome I never stopped doing it.

You'll meet some amazing people to socialize with because the environment of volunteering naturally draws kind, interesting, high quality folks who will look out for you.

Toastmasters is also great (and free). It's the perfect environment to practice socializing and build confidence in that area, because you are in a completely friendly risk free place for it. The people there understand exactly what it's like and are all in the same boat.

Volunteering basically cured my crippling social/anxiety, and it was fucking baaaaaad.

[hyruga]

Read this book by Susan Cain to find the Power of being an Introvert

[Gianna]

On 9/29/2021 at 8:26 AM, Max8 said:

how to stop being an introvert? 

Find a way to make yourself deeply curious of others. 

[silene]

@Max8  you've identified various conditions: introversion, anxiety, depression, aspergers, autism. They may well be interlinked, but I'd suggest clarifying which areas you can work on with regular self-help (perhaps introversion & anxiety), and which ones need specialised help (aspergers, autism). It depends how severe the symptoms are as to whether self-help is enough.  

Also be grateful for small wins: these issues are relative, so reducing introversion, or managing it, is more achievable than completely stopping it. 

[Nahm]

On 9/29/2021 at 11:26 AM, Max8 said:

how to stop being an introvert? 

You already aren’t. That’s a thought. You are what is aware of that thought, isn’t it so? 

On 9/29/2021 at 11:26 AM, Max8 said:

i know i should socialize or talk to more people but I don't find it easy or fun or interesting, to begin with 

which is by definition what makes an introvert 

Don’t do anything because you should. Do what you want.  You are not an introvert, you believe in authority, that there are shoulds. Value the feeling of the dream within you, not what other people think. Let them realize the dream within them. Wish them well. 

On 9/29/2021 at 11:26 AM, Max8 said:

the reason i even want to stop being an introvert is that i lately been struggling with severe anxiety and depression which i believe it's caused by autism or Asperger syndrome which is what i got tested positive for .

i was an introvert pretty much ever since i hit puberty and now I'm 23 i have zero friends 

not that i can't but i tend to avoid making friends for some reason that im not sure about.

When you feel the anxiety or depression, choose a better feeling thought or perspective. And take full advantage of every possible resource available to you. Do everything you can about it. Be relentless with your well being. Don’t settle for discordant thoughts. 

[HypnoticMagician]

I think the root of problem is more likely to be choosing either of these two options instead of more holistic ambiversion.

[funkychunkymonkey]

@Max8 i have ZERO friends as well after my two arrests i cut everyone off and its just left me alone in my head. what helps me honestly is wishing everybody well and loving everyone not needing anything in return i know it sounds hippie. but its helped me greatly if you dont feel that this would help you then pease dont worry ab my post 

[LSD-Rumi]

@Max8 There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. This is like saying why  I am black or white or Swedish or American. There is nothing wrong with any of that perse and it can get very problematic and toxic if you think you should change your personality. The healthy thing to do is the opposite actually. You must learn to embrace and love your personality and move with it not against it. I am personally An introvert and I just love being an introvert! Being an introvert always me to spend many hours with myself working or contemplating reality with no problem. I am not attached or desperate for others. I just enjoy the occasional time with other people.

Everything in life has its pros and cons and personality types are no different. SO what you need to do is not to reject who you are and try acting like another person. This is a common trap that introverts fall into. This will never work and will lead to more frustration and pain. Instead, you need to pinpoint your weaknesses as an introvert and try improving these aspects of yourself.

So what are these things that introverts are  not  good at:

• introverts generally are beta males. They  are designed to be followers, not leaders and they have poor  integration of  masculinity
• introverts have poor social skills in general and they struggle whenever they want to discuss their opinions or express their emotions 
• Introverts are quite repressed in general. They tend to  repress their emotions or anger
• Introverts suck at pick up because of all of the above so they have a hard time attracting a  partner
• Introverts are quite insecure and care a lot about other people's opinions and they usually end up as The quiet nice guys. 

So introverts should be more focused on improving these aspects in themself instead of hating and refusing who they are.