Probably The Last Thing I'll Ever Write

[faith]

On 2017-01-03 at 0:18 AM, BabyBat said:

purty birb

I had a good laugh. Thank you for that

I certainly hope it also cheered the gentleman who started this thread.

[sweater]

@renegade_bee Be easy. You got this. 

[elias]

Still alive  good to see that ! All the best for you

[Nahm]

@renegade_bee Don't think about suicide man. You gotta have the logic to know that you're only 18 and everything will change. When I was 20 I had severe manic depression. Dr's and pills never helped me, unfortunately. That all changed by age 22 and my life has just  Gotten better and better ever since. I was where you are man. Please hear me - you are just getting started in this life. You don't know what the rest will look like. Just hang in there and keep trying things. I garuntee if you keep going and keep trying, you absolutely will find the cure for your UTI. You will. It could be only a month away. The right Dr often makes all the difference. If YOU DON'T GIVE UP, YOU WILL SEE THAT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WILL BE THE SWEET LIFE OF SOMEONE WHO SURPASSES EVERYONE'S WILDEST DREAMS BECAUSE WHEN OTHERS GAVE UP, YOU DIDN'T. DON'T GIVE UP. 

[Nahm]

\

Edited February 11, 2017 by Nahm

[Peace and Love]

Here is a holistic answer.  
Book: Louise L. Hay  - You can Heal your Life.

Pg. 201

Problem:  Suicide
Probable Cause: Seeing Life Only in Black and White. Refusal to see another way out.
New Thought Pattern (to meditate and focus on): I live in the totality of possibilities.  There is always another way. I am safe.

[Key Elements]

@renegade_bee Sorry to hear this. Listen, you are right about being young; you're only 18, and have a full life ahead of you. However, do you notice that to "man up" and "to get laid" by a certain age is part of society's sterotype? You don't have to be pressured to do those. If you have others who are pressuring you to do those when you're not ready, then you are around inauthentic people. 

Another thing you don't have to do is finish college / university right away. Try to get yourself healed first. I'm not just talking about physically - in whatever ways you can. Remember, don't be in such a big hurry to get everything solved. It never works this way. Replace habits you don't like with hobbies you love. The secret is in the things you love to do that could eventually evolve into a life purpose. Then, you could gradually go back and take courses at your college related to what you love.

@renegade_bee

P.S. I sense that your background is very academic because of what you said, and you sound like you're pushing yourself too hard. Don't give in to pressure from anyone. Life never worked this way. We are all meant to do different things and become our greatest version in our own unique ways. If it's done out of pressure based on someone else's norms, then you are always playing the losing game.

All the best. 

Edited February 12, 2017 by Key Elements

[Loreena]

@renegade_bee

Don't do it. Hope you're still here and I'm really sorry you're going through all. But it's not worth it. When I was going through a similar phase, prayer was the only thing that helped me. Life is hard but you are only 18, you have your life ahead of you. If you are worried about getting laid, your life is more precious than any girl/boy/friend in the world. We don't live only for romance and sex, there is so much more to life than stuff that you see other people doing/enjoying. Stop comparing yourself to others because comparison is the biggest self-esteem demolisher. Everybody has their own problems and their own stories to tell. There are millions out there who suffer, at least just like you if not more. So you are not alone. You got to find your own 'sea of hope' where you will find your inner peace.

Even in the worst circumstances, life is still worth living because you get this chance only once.

Suicide can never be the ultimate option. Even suicide has a big drawback and that is the risk of failure associated with it. Many people end up handicapped or permanently disabled when their suicide attempts fail. So it's extremely dangerous.

Try to heal yourself emotionally and spiritually first. Your problems may either go away one day or they may no longer be relevant from an existential perspective.

May you find peace in your hour of trouble. Take care. (plz don't do it).

 

 

[The White Belt]

@renegade_bee If this is truly it, the end, if you've given up; then you're truly free. If you have the money, get on a plane, go to Asia, go to a monastery and they will take you, free of charge. If you don't have the money, walk. Go to a homeless shelter, get a little job, save a bit of money for a flight and fuck off somewhere. Piss yourself whenever you feel like it, fuck it, who cares? You did it a lot when you were a baby. Go get a load of shrooms, trip your nuts off. You're talking about becoming a corpse soon. Fuck your parents, fuck your comfort, fuck it all dude. Seriously. Try being free before suicide, and if then you still want to leave. you're free to check out. Don't even feel bad for being suicidal, you don't owe anybody anything.

[Wednesday]

On 12/14/2016 at 10:06 AM, renegade_bee said:

*snip*

Hi. I noticed you're still active on your profile.

So, not too long ago I went through a depressive and suicidal period myself. Unlike you I didn't have to deal with physical pain, nor did I have to contend with the parental issues. It was entirely an issue with my psyche, not my circumstance. Interestingly, I know several people who *do* deal with circumstances similar to your own yet never come close to the urge to take their own life. 

What I'd like to tell you is that this period was hugely painful for me, but it was perhaps the most important stretch of time in my life. I guess that facing your own inner demons becomes a necessity if the alternative is to cease your own existence, and you will walk away as a much stronger person who also has in his toolkit the wisdom to help others who are suffering on the same level. 

The most influential change (other than introspection) I made to my life was a change in diet. I guess we often overlook the importance of diet to our mental health, but considering that your brain is built from what you eat then it should be a more obvious connection. I mention this because it also might help with the UTI (I had several health problems which went away with the diet change). The sanest approach to nutritional advice I have ever seen is captured in the book The Perfect Health Diet (the authors also have a blog). Following the advice perfectly is probably a huge undertaking if you're busy with college, but the general Dos and Don'ts should help you a lot even if you only partly follow it.

Look man, I'll be blunt. I can tell from the way that you write that you're smart. And you're only 18. You have an amazing future ahead of you if you persevere.

All the best.