Good style for looking attractive? (Pick-up)

[Raptorsin7]

3 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

What I am saying is that people need to build a healthier self esteem by dealing with the issues they have come across by altering their self esteem. Not by doubling down on their limiting beliefs. 

If you are an Indian guy in China for example, woman will not want to date you because they value light skin. You can change your limiting beliefs, but that will still be a reality on some level.

4 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Honestly, why would you want to win in a game where the prize isn't even worth it? What's the point of trying to appeal to people who aren't going to see your worth or give you basic respect? Instead of trying to change up yourself to appeal to these people, go where you are accepted and where you are less likely to deal with this sort of thing. 

This is burying your head in the sand and avoiding reality. 90% of humans, probably more, have fucked up beliefs and perceptions. You have to adapt to the way the world is, not retreat into a tiny corner with your 4 friends who want to judge the world and tell everyone why they are wrong and shouldn't partiticpate etc.

Winning the game is getting sex and learning to date. And if you're an asian guy you have to deal with this stuff if you want to procreate and get into a relationship.

5 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

I've had men literally tell me to my face that they think I'm ugly and that they only date white women. That shit made me cry when I was 12 but at this point I'm just like *the trash took itself out and I dodged a bullet.* I agree with @FlyingLotus on this one: 

Yeah I understand this, and I'm not happy about the way things are. I just want to deal with reality and understand the way things truly are. 

You can have this attitude, but what happens when you're done taking out the trash and there's no one left to date? A 5ft2 asian guy with poor social skills can say that he's better off without all these woman who rejected him etc, but where does that get him?

I have a preference for non indian woman too, as an Indian guy, and I see how it hurts Indian woman to deal with that, but I am just being honest about my preferences and I am not going to lie to myself or others to save face or protect feelings.

8 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

That is hypermasculination which is another form of fetishization. 

Welcome to reality. Woman like tall good looking men right? Isn't that fetishization for height and handomse faces?

Do we say woman who are attracted to intelligent men are fetishizing intelligence?

9 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Didn't you make a post not too long ago about racism in dating and how the black men in every person questioned was rated as the least attractive? 

Black woman are the least desirable. Black men have certain physical advantages that can compensate for their lower percieved ethnic status. But a short, skinny black guy will have a different experience than a 6ft3 basketball player or something.

10 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

You're so close to seeing the problem. Fetishization isn't a good thing and isn't something that makes you look "higher value." It's the opposite in that it leads to more dehumanization and violence against the communities they fetishize.  

I didn't invent the universe, nor did I engineer how things are. I will simply adapt and live in reality, and thrive based on the truth.

If I could snap my fingers and make everyone's SMV equal and eliminate discrimination I would. 

In the meantime I will live according to what's real, and not get mad at the world for the ways things are.

[soos_mite_ah]

10 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

If you are an Indian guy in China for example, woman will not want to date you because they value light skin. You can change your limiting beliefs, but that will still be a reality on some level.

I'm also sure that in a country of over a billion people that there will be some people who will find that brown guy attractive inside and out. That's not to say that this person won't deal with racism (which lets be real is basically guaranteed tbh), but you can acknowledge the reality and not have it devolve into self hatred, apathy, and low self esteem. 

5 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

You have to adapt to the way the world is, not retreat into a tiny corner with your 4 friends who want to judge the world and tell everyone why they are wrong and shouldn't partiticpate etc.

Winning the game is getting sex and learning to date.

Part of learning how to date is cancelling people out and knowing your worth so you don't settle for terrible treatment. It isn't adopting a defeatist attitude. And a large part of learning how to date and avoiding people who aren't good for you so you have quality experiences is to have a good sense of self esteem, boundaries, and not feel the need to conform to what everyone else wants you to be so you can maintain your sense of authenticity. And things like authenticity and confidence are some of the most attractive qualities you can create in yourself. 

6 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

You can have this attitude, but what happens when you're done taking out the trash and there's no one left to date? A 5ft2 asian guy with poor social skills can say that he's better off without all these woman who rejected him etc, but where does that get him?

That is ridiculous. There are 7 billion people in the world. There is a good chance that I can find people that I am genuinely compatible and respects. This attitude that you're talking about reeks scarcity mindset and scare tactics. 

[Raptorsin7]

6 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

I'm also sure that in a country of over a billion people that there will be some people who will find that brown guy attractive inside and out. That's not to say that this person won't deal with racism (which lets be real is basically guaranteed tbh), but you can acknowledge the reality and not have it devolve into self hatred, apathy, and low self esteem. 

I am not saying that anyone should delve into self hatred, apathy, or low self esteem. I am just speaking the truth about dating realities that many people like to ignore or are not aware of.

And you just proved my point. There will always be a FEW people of any culture who are open to dating out, but there will not be enough to balance the dating scales. Given current trends there will be winners and losers, and my message is for asian men who do not want to end up as losers in the dating arena.

6 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Part of learning how to date is cancelling people out and knowing your worth so you don't settle for terrible treatment. It isn't adopting a defeatist attitude. And a large part of learning how to date and avoiding people who aren't good for you so you have quality experiences is to have a good sense of self esteem, boundaries, and not feel the need to conform to what everyone else wants you to be so you can maintain your sense of authenticity. And things like authenticity and confidence are some of the most attractive qualities you can create in yourself. 

If a man is a 5ft3 asian with poor social skills and he refuses to assimilate imagine giving him your advice. Just remain authentic to who you are bro, don't worry about all these woman who reject you, just be yourself you are enough and you will find someone.

That is poison.

6 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

That is ridiculous. There are 7 billion people in the world. There is a good chance that I can find people that I am genuinely compatible and respects. This attitude that you're talking about reeks scarcity mindset and scare tactics. 

You probably will. You are smart and good looking, but what works for you will not work everyone. 

I am speaking the truth. It just triggers you because  99% of people are dishonest and don't know what it means to be or speak the truth.

Edited October 30, 2021 by Raptorsin7

[soos_mite_ah]

I don't even think we're on the same page when it comes to what is being discussed so I apologize for asking too many questions but I'm trying to figure out where you're coming from.

3 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

And you just proved my point. There will always be a FEW people of any culture who are open to dating out, but there will not be enough to balance the dating scales. Given current trends there will be winners and losers, and my message is for asian men who do want to end up as losers in the dating arena.

How would you define being a loser in dating? 

3 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

If a man is a 5ft3 asian with poor social skills and he refuses to assimilate imagine giving him your advice. Just remain authentic to who you are bro, don't worry about all these woman who reject you, just be yourself you are enough and you will find someone.

What exactly do you think I mean when I say you should focus on being authentic and confidence and how do you think I think a person should go about it? What would you recommend to the 5ft3 Asian with poor social skills?

3 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I am speaking the truth. It just triggers you because  99% of people are dishonest and don't know what it means to be or speak the truth.

Where do you see me as triggered? 

And also, some shit isn't dishonest, it's just plain wrong. And sometimes people often use "honesty" as an excuse to be an asshole. 

Edited October 30, 2021 by soos_mite_ah

[Raptorsin7]

@soos_mite_ah I'm not really interested in going back and forth. I think we are talking past each other.

Enough has been said for anyone who is interested in learning more.

If you want to learn more about this perspective, watch john elite. He has a bunch of videos on YouTube

https://youtu.be/knHcUE4aD6k

 

Edited October 30, 2021 by Raptorsin7

[Nahm]

When emotion is bypassed & meditation & shadow work are skipped, one’s thought attachment becomes one’s teaching so to speak, one’s views & ‘understanding’, without one noticing the harm this is potentially doing. This is very common with a psychedelic glimpse and youth-ambition-spirituality. Or of course one does notice this, but doesn’t care, because of what they’re getting out of it, or what they believe they will get out of it. Which would be a valuation, the thought attachment of “value”, which in actuality is the valuing of, the ‘separate self’. In regard to thought attachment and future trips, this has created a pickle I would not wish upon anyone.