Going Club solo, I feel horrible af

[Striving for more]

5 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

Lol your narrative IS completely different than mine, huh, funny.

Find yourself a Group to go out approaching. That Will make you feel less of a loner and weirdo and more of an empowered man.

 

Anyways being the Guy sober having the balls to approach Girls vs guys Drunk talking to their Group of Friends...i mean me personally makes me feel empowered and more valuable, not less 

But hey, each of us have definetely a crazy story inside our heads ?

I had a few drinks so I cant pretend that I was 100% courage mode but mt tolerance to alcohol is so high i would say i wasnt much affected so im still proud

What disappointes me is rbat ths pretty girl was a bit drunk, i didnt realize till after and felr liks such a player when i kissed her, its hardsr to take full credit now

[ZenSwift]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You need to bask only in positivity when you're doing this. You need to practice delusional levels of positivity here. Do not allow a single negative thought into your mind no matter what happens.

Clubbing solo is one of the hardest things a guy can do. But damn does it grow you if you can pull it off.

Get some wingmen to bolster you. Going out solo as a newbie is not usually sustainable. You need some emotional support structure from wings when starting off.

Noted. I'm actually going to start a document titled: "Wise shit Leo says about Pickup" Because I find myself constantly screenshotting information like this from Leo.

[something_else]

4 hours ago, Striving for more said:

I had a few drinks so I cant pretend that I was 100% courage mode but mt tolerance to alcohol is so high i would say i wasnt much affected so im still proud

What disappointes me is rbat ths pretty girl was a bit drunk, i didnt realize till after and felr liks such a player when i kissed her, its hardsr to take full credit now

First of all congrats man!!! 

Now tell your mind to shut the fuck up.

It's moving the goal posts. You set yourself the goal of going out. Against all the odds, feeling like complete shit, you pushed through that and went out anyway. And you had a great time. Your story is essentially identical to mine, I don't know if you read my thread or not. Like the similarity is uncanny.

Now notice your mind is trying to play down this accomplishment?? Why? Who gives a shit if you drank alcohol, what you did was still extremely challenging for you to do in the first place but you pushed through.

Now be consistent, go again next week. Your mind will generate the same BS and you will push through again. Alcohol or no alcohol.

Should you try to reduce the alcohol consumption over time as you get more tolerant of the club environment? Yes. Is drinking at the start to match everyone else's energy, relax, and fit in a little better wrong? Not at all.

And you should also try to make some clubbing friends too. But now you know you don't need them.

[Flint]

4 hours ago, Striving for more said:

I had a few drinks so I cant pretend that I was 100% courage mode but mt tolerance to alcohol is so high i would say i wasnt much affected so im still proud

What disappointes me is rbat ths pretty girl was a bit drunk, i didnt realize till after and felr liks such a player when i kissed her, its hardsr to take full credit now

Yeah don't worry, if the girl was slightly tipsy she was only less stuck up, that could not have made you suddently attractive.

Own the credit. I know it's hard - I mean for a very long time I thought all of the girls that kissed me and didn't sleep with me didn't like me - but you did go out, you did things well and got some results.

Analyze what you could've done better, aka pulled her as soon as she gave you the "let's go somewhere", even before, and try again next time. That's how you learn.

You need to have a system in place : screen for logistics and friends, have a wing if needed for two sets, know when the buying temperature is high enough to pull, etc.

[something_else]

4 hours ago, Striving for more said:

All the stuff I read and worries about has no relevance when I get there,all the hypergamy and peoples opinions on reditt flys out the window, I was wrong, girls do like to be sexual at clubs, you just have to not react & be stoic to the ones thaf dont like it, there will always be a mix.

Oh, and this is your most important insight. Like @Leo Gura said you need to stop consuming this shit and now you know why

[Guest EmptyVase]

@Striving for more

Beliefs, thoughts, success, feeling good.. interesting how they all interrelate.

[Leo Gura]

Reddit is a toxic cesspool. Stop consuming such low vibration information from losers. Find a good pickup forum where guys are taking action and not making any excuses.

The narratives your mind spins will make or break you in pickup. You must become your own cheerleader, even if you have a shitty night you gotta immediately reframe it as: this was a good lesson for next night. All future nights will now be better.

Like bad trips, your worst nights are some of your best for growth. Failure at getting a girl is not failure in growth. Not at all. Never judge your night based on whether you got the girl. Judge your night based on how much action you took and how many new lessons arose.

Losing the girl is what teaches you the deepest lessons. You will lose 100s of girls, so get used to it.

Do not consume attraction information from anyone who isn't going out at least several nights per week. Only their advice and opinions matter. Do not allow keyboard jockeys in your mind. Most guys online are keyboard jockeys. They don't approach.

[StarStruck]

Learning to go with the flow is important. If you already "know" you will have a shitty night you will have a shitty night. Rather start from a place of not knowing; with that consciousness a window for creative co-creation with a girl can manifest. 

[Striving for more]

Yes, another big insight I had is that actually the best time to lots of approaches is at the START of the night, and to do it straight away : 

Why I think this? : 

1. to quickly overcome approach anxiety & get in the zone of socializing >> + create that winner effect asap

2. Means you can get lots of phone numbers

3. You have chance to talk/flirt with girl & build some connection 

4. All the hottest girls seem to be abundant at the start of the night, by 3,4,5AM, the clubs gets empty, the ratio skews to lots of men & things start to get awkward  

5. Can feel satisfied already by 1AM, if you want to stay you can but the desperation, frustration won't be there 

6. >> So less likely to be that awkward desperate guy alone at 4-5AM at the empty club, 

7. More sustainable, more likely to sleep earlier 

8. The habit of heavy approaching at the start of the night >> Forces you to learn to do it sober, whereas the more you hesitate, the more excuses you're mind will come up with "let's just get another drink first, lets get drunk first" .. then the hours fly by & you think what happend. 

 

Other Insight (Point confirmed by other guy) 

Alcohol is a clutch !! 

• a drink or two is ok but I have to get to the point where I don't need it at all, I'll only drink a little to relax if I want to sure, any vice is ok in moderation but it's about not doing it to avoid the tension that I must learn to face sober 

[Striving for more]

10 hours ago, Hello from Russia said:

Dude, how come the competition is high?

Competition is almost non-existent. These dudes are usually very lame and have 0 game. If you do meditation and other spiritual work you should have a phenomenal edge and run circles over them

This is what I mean when I say how, seeing all these guys looking shitfaced actually made me feel more confident.

 

[RoerAmit]

From personal experience:

You need a strategy for your game. from the moment you open to the moment you have sex with her

Working with a coach and having a group/forum with good players will help you a lot for sure.

But - you will only learn by going out and open again and again until you will get results

 

Edited September 28, 2021 by RoerAmit