Getting insecure when my GF upload pictures in Social media

[kras]

I am getting insecure when my GF upload picture or story in instagram.

We are in  realationship for 2 months, so far we are having very good relationship and we get along pretty well.

She doesn't upload nudies or some provocative pictures, just normal pictures.

I am aware of the nature of relationships and that we might split up at some point, but this thought just bothers me, and she uploading pictures in instagram just amplifies that feeling. 

 

[NoSelfSelf]

Do you have a life to focus on or shes your life?

[Leo Gura]

Make it your practice to feel happy for her and whoever she wants to date that makes her happy.

This is your spiritual work. Let go of needing her.

[mandyjw]

Why do you think women share their photos on social media? 

[kras]

13 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

Why do you think women share their photos on social media? 

Attention and approval. 

She is very attractive girl but couple of times she told me that she feels very insecure about her looks and she thinks that she is ugly.

 

[Thought Art]

I have also had this problem... 

I am studying conscious polyamory atm... Not that I necessarily want to be in a poly relationship I just want to begin to reprogram my mind that wants to own my partners. I want them to be free. I also want to accept that other men want to fuck them, and they may want to fuck other men and that is okay. I might want to fuck other women/men too but that doesn't mean we aren't a good partnership. Sex shouldn't be such a big deal.

I don't want to own someone. I just would like honesty... Idk..

Edited September 27, 2021 by Thought Art

[mandyjw]

2 minutes ago, kras said:

Attention and approval. 

She is very attractive girl but couple of times she told me that she feels very insecure about her looks and she thinks that she is ugly.

 

So if she does it because she is insecure, why would that also make you insecure? 
 

[mandyjw]

So she posts these pictures, not out of insecurity, but because that insecurity is a desire, it's because she wants to appreciate her beauty, she wants to feel beautiful.

So your insecurity is also a desire. What do you want to appreciate or feel?

 

 

[somegirl]

@kras You don't own her. She is free to express herself. She shouldn't just cover herself once she is in a relationship. She is her own person with her own identity. 

You gotta trust the process. If she stays, she stays, if she leaves, she leaves.
If she is giving your an impression that you can trust her, then she probably won't do anything with other man. If, however, she ends up doing something that would hurt you, obviously it wasn't meant to be. Whatever is meant for you won't leave you. Just trust that.

[Leo Gura]

42 minutes ago, kras said:

but couple of times she told me that she feels very insecure about her looks and she thinks that she is ugly.

So... just like every girl in the world?

[HypnoticMagician]

Why bother? Never love anybody more than you love yourself so you'll worry about her less after supposedly "loosing" her as if you have lost a very important asset.

[Max8]

@kras

with this attitude, I think you will break up sooner or later . 

[Preety_India]

Just tell her that you are not okay with it 

If it something not too serious, then you can let it go. 

If it is your insecurity, work on it. 

If you think you're being legitimate and you really feel uncomfortable with what your partner is doing, talk to them honestly and frankly and let them know that you don't like it. 

If she is cooperative, she will either understand your concerns and not judge you for it and do what you like or she will find a middle path.. 

If she gets defensive, try to communicate gently. She shouldn't feel like you are controlling her. 

At the same time she should be respectful of your needs as well

If she is being disrespectful and does not pay any mind to your needs at all, then be blunt about it and let her know that you don't like her behavior. 

This is a test for both of you. 

A person who is truly in love and truly understands will try to give some space without getting overly controlling or overly defensive.

 

[selfvalley]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Make it your practice to feel happy for her and whoever she wants to date that makes her happy.

This is your spiritual work. Let go of needing her.

I personally struggle very hard to accept this. I feel like I cannot understand how to do what Leo says here even though when I try to think about it it makes perfect sense that this practice would be the solution I just can't even imagine to be "happy for her dating somebody else", the thought of it sounds painful and not logical for me and I don't know why... Why do you guys think that this would be hard for me to accept? When I'm outside of any contact or relationship with a girl I feel like I love myself, have hobbies, exercise etc... Whenever I start dating I learn how insecure I am...

[somegirl]

@selfvalley neediness and insecurity.

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, selfvalley said:

I personally struggle very hard to accept this.

Hence you must practice it.

Become selfless. Or suffer your selfishness.

[Federico del pueblo]

@selfvalley

Quote

 Why do you guys think that this would be hard for me to accept? 

Because due to your entire past, social conditioning, experiences etc. you have deeply internalized certain things, certain rules and meanings.

E.g. "If a girl doesn't like me and leaves me, it means that I'm not a good man and this is bad" or something similar.

These things work on you on a subconscious level and get triggered when certain events occur.

You can only practice to become more aware of these beliefs, understand their illusory nature and eventually let go of them.

[LordFall]

On 9/27/2021 at 6:47 PM, selfvalley said:

I personally struggle very hard to accept this. I feel like I cannot understand how to do what Leo says here even though when I try to think about it it makes perfect sense that this practice would be the solution I just can't even imagine to be "happy for her dating somebody else", the thought of it sounds painful and not logical for me and I don't know why... Why do you guys think that this would be hard for me to accept? When I'm outside of any contact or relationship with a girl I feel like I love myself, have hobbies, exercise etc... Whenever I start dating I learn how insecure I am...

It's a core game concept called abundance. You can be in abundance theoretically and watch spiritual videos that tell you to let go and tell yourself that it's a good idea but being ACTUALLY in abundance is a completely different thing. If you've proven to yourself that you can attract multiple women and have great connections with many of them then your whole perspective automatically becomes different. You aren't desperate anymore and it actually starts to make sense that if your woman wants to leave you, she should do it because it'll hopefully make her happier. 

If you're not in abundance then your woman leaving you is an atomic bomb to your life and your intimacy/sex life will be destroyed for the next few months/years and YOU KNOW IT deep down even if you try lying to yourself. 

This is why improving yourself/game/seduction is not a joke. You cannot fake it, either you can attract women in your life or you can't. It's very binary. If you try to magically convince yourself otherwise it's only gonna cause you pain.