How to eat healthy?

[Bojan]

Like, I know what is healthy. But i just like eating a bit more than once or twice or sometimes even three times a day and somerimes at night i like to eat more than one plate.

But i cannot make enough money for enough healthier, yet still not organic, food options. So sometimes like now, when i experience huge stress because my rights have been violated, I feel down, and i live with unhealthy people who make bad food for me, but now pretend it is good cause it is with a different sort of flour. I say i will not eat it because it is full of hydrogenated oil and that flour is still bad.

Then i try a little bit. Then i cannot stop and soon enough i am told that i am selfish and bad for eating everything, although i thought the person already took some. 

Of course, the splution is to get rich, but telling a guy like me to do that is like telling an ugly girl to get beautiful actually. And restraining, moderation,one meal a day, too little cakories, i just cannot. 

Because i am not overweight, but i do have a higher fat percentage cause of this. 

Night. Sorry for sharing this victim mentality. I probably do not want to affect you and turn you into a victim, but then again, i do not think that my message has so much power. 

[TompsterLobster]

Go to a large grocery store that has a butchery section and buy the meat that is 50% off. Search on youtube how to cook it, and cook it that same day since grocery stores always set their meat to 50% off when it's about to expire. It's still just as good.

Also, certain vegetables and fruit are cheaper depending on the time of the year. Grocery stores also often have a discount vegetable/fruit rack off to the side for 50% off since they are about to expire. If you buy this food, be sure to inspect it first to be sure that it is still good, as places like walmart often have berries at a discount price but upon closer examination they have gone mouldy. Root vegetables, like big sacks of potatoes and beats, are incredibly inexpensive for the amount of food they provide. You just have to learn how to make them so that you actually truly desire eating them. And never be shy to add lots of butter, not only does it taste good, but often times when people start trying to eat  healthy, they end up low on fats and can feel faint as a result. You want to be sure you are eating enough food overall as well, which is something people often overlook and can cause them to feel weak.

All you need to make meat and vegetables taste good is salt and pepper, but if you really want them to taste good, look at getting spice blends that grocery stores always sell. One that is good on almost everything (at least to me) is steak spice. Once you start experimenting and slowly introducing spices, you will not only get comfortable with them you will get excited about them. They are like magic spells to cast on the food, that barely cost anything and can dramatically enhance the flavor. 

Keep in mind that every grocery store is different. Where I live, the cheap grocery stores are Walmart and Food Basics, and I only shop at Loblaws and Metro to seize upon their deals. They often sell discount premade healthy food very early in the morning on Saturdays and Sundays. Once you start looking at the stores' sales you'll start to have a good strategy for shopping at them, or perhaps not shopping at certain ones at all.

Also, when you start creating your own food, make sure you create things that have a satisfying amount of salt, and also things that have a satisfying amount of sugar. If you decided you were only going to eat, say, a healthy meat and vegetable stew every day, you'd likely find yourself caving in and eating a huge amount of sugary junk food because you have been in such a sugar deficit in comparison to what you're used to. 

Most importantly, get EXCITED about your health food journey. It's like a  hack. If you are eating far healthier than your family members, you will have a higher level of energy and mental clarity that they don't have access to, and this will have compounding effects on everything in your life.

And as mind blowingly difficult as it is when you are living with your family, allow yourself to embrace the fact that you are separate from them.  You  have your own distinct identity, which they may or may not realize, and your own high standard for how you eat and how you treat yourself (and hopefully, how you expect to be treated). This part is probably the hardest part, but the most crucial.  You must constantly remind yourself of your new identity, one part of which is that you do not settle for anything but a very healthy diet so you can be at your best, and carry it with you throughout the day, every day, especially if and when your family criticizes you. Which is quite possible as you eating healthy may make them feel insecure about how they eat, but hopefully in a way that triggers them to make healthier decisions too. 

 

Edited September 26, 2021 by TompsterLobster

[Bojan]

31 minutes ago, TompsterLobster said:

If you decided you were only going to eat, say, a healthy meat and vegetable stew every day, you'd likely find yourself caving in and eating a huge amount of sugary junk food because you have been in such a sugar deficit in comparison to what you're used to. 

If there was enough of it to fill me and fulfill me, it would be easy. But even now, the reason I ate the fritters and am feeling so tired, but cannot sleep, is because there was very little soup left and I wanted to have enough for tomorrow, so in that emotional state and without enough soup, I cought the bite. 

38 minutes ago, TompsterLobster said:

Most importantly, get EXCITED about your health food journey. It's like a  hack. If you are eating far healthier than your family members, you will have a higher level of energy and mental clarity that they don't have access to, and this will have compounding effects on everything in your life.

This is exactly why i want to beable to eat healthy all the time.

40 minutes ago, TompsterLobster said:

And as mind blowingly difficult as it is when you are living with your family, allow yourself to embrace the fact that you are separate from them.  You  have your own distinct identity, which they may or may not realize, and your own high standard for how you eat and how you treat yourself (and hopefully, how you expect to be treated). This part is probably the hardest part, but the most crucial.  You must constantly remind yourself of your new identity, one part of which is that you do not settle for anything but a very healthy diet so you can be at your best, and carry it with you throughout the day, every day, especially if and when your family criticizes you. Which is quite possible as you eating healthy may make them feel insecure about how they eat, but hopefully in a way that triggers them to make healthier decisions too. 

I am kind of not separate from them. 

Yes, I have high standards for how I eat and how I treat myself. And I expect to be treated at least according to the law, but if people can break the law on me, what standards are we talking about here?

So now about having to constantly remnid myself of my new identity,one of part of which is that I don't settle for anything but a very healthy diet so I can be at my best,and carry it with me throughout the day, every day, especially when my family criticizes me. And that it is quite possible as me eating healthy may make them feel insecure about how they eat, but hopefully in a way that triggers them to make healthier decisions too. Well, what can I say here, it sounds great, but I don't have a new identity, and this family member will never change.

This part about "not settling for anything but a very healthy diet so I can be at my best," see, everything you're saying is very good. But as I said, financial, security and energy problems. My family can criticize me all they want,if i had my own fridge, and if it was secured, and if i was able to make sure it is full all the time with healthy food, it would be no problem. But that is impossible.

 

 

BUT i appreciate your effort and kindness to share your thoughts. This appreciation I extend to everyone else from the past that did the same thing, but didn't hear "Thank you," from me.

And if you are reading this, I wish you all the best. It is just that, unfortunately or sadly, my wishes often do not come true. But maybe yours do. So wish yourself all the best too.

But what if you do not get all the best? Not what I wanted for you. You have no other option but to keep living with all the worst. You can take it. It is just a hundred years or so. After that, we don't know.

[Human Mint]

@Bojan You say this because it is difficult that your family respects your desitions? Yes, you may be playing the victim, but anything that is weakening you just drop it here. You certainly can draw boundaries with your family members. If not, what else would you do? Just think about the things that you can do to actualize your life. Forget about the impossibilities. Good look.

[Michael569]

Families can be hard to accept changes or even suggestions for improvement. The last time I tried (sensibly) to suggest to my mom to do some minor cooking adjustments (such as using less oil and less sugar)  that would benefit her and my sister's health, I was met with a major backlash.

You could try to suggest cooking for the family occasionally and making them see and appreciate that healthier food can be tasty as well. But if you are up against family traditions and strong conservative values, you won't be successful on that front especially if the dynamics of the family is

• that the woman cooks
• the meal has to be tasty and savoury (means fatty and sugary) ,
• there won't be any changes because "this is what we have been doing always".

In such case, the most strategic thing to do is to consider moving out. I'm not saying get rich but maybe try to plan what's the minimum monthly income you would have to achieve to be able to pull of some small apartment, maybe like a single-room space with living room, bathroom, kitchen and bedroom. A condo style. Or you could enter into a shared rent with someone else. Like have your own room but share bathroom and kitchen. I've lived like that for at least 6 years in the past and it was mostly alright. As long as the flatmate is alright, it is a great way to be free from family "bullying" and saving money. 

What's the minimum of income you would need to get to that place? I'm sure it isn't thousands of euros (or whatever is the local currency in your country). 

Put the amounts on a paper: 

• monthly rent
• monthly food spend
• travel 
• hopbbies, gyms , etc
• other personal spend

Then put it together and work backwards and try to figure out a way to get that money. Maybe you would need a part-time job? Maybe take a job as a courier or some online thing. 

What I'm trying to say here is that it's all in your hands to get away from that situation because it won't get better on its own. I was in slightly similar situation 7 years ago before moving abroad. I was lucky in few things but mostly it came down to packing my belongings and finding a place on my own.  

 

[TompsterLobster]

15 hours ago, Bojan said:

This part about "not settling for anything but a very healthy diet so I can be at my best," see, everything you're saying is very good. But as I said, financial, security and energy problems. My family can criticize me all they want,if i had my own fridge, and if it was secured, and if i was able to make sure it is full all the time with healthy food, it would be no problem. But that is impossible..

It is impossible for you to buy a used mini fridge online, for about $40, and buy some food to put in it? If that is impossible, then I don't know how the hell we got to the moon. lol 

You just need to get a bit of money going. If you have anything you don't use, sell it online. In Canada we sell things on Kijiji. You can also check the online classified ads for quick cash paying jobs. Check every day and something that sounds reasonable will come up. A task that you can do in a day for $100 or something.

If you can problem solve your way through these first tricky, humbling steps, you will have everything you need to problem solve you way higher and higher in life as you have more income and stability.

Edited September 27, 2021 by TompsterLobster

[Bojan]

9 minutes ago, TompsterLobster said:

It is impossible for you to buy a used mini fridge online, for about $40, and buy some food to put in it? If that is impossible, then I don't know how the hell we got to the moon. lol 

Thumbs up, lol  ????

 

2 hours ago, Michael569 said:

• monthly rent
• monthly food spend
• travel 
• hopbbies, gyms , etc
• other personal spen

250 euros is literally the minimum for rent. 
Ideally, for food I would need at least 200 euros or if I was able to grow my own food and not fear someone spraying it when I'm gone, that would be great. But then, I'd need a car, and that's an extra expense. 
Travel, also at least 200 euros a month. 
Hobbies and gym, that's around 50 euros plus books and so on... Even more. 
But the problem is that no one here will give me more than 250 euros a month. Even that's a challenge, as I've learned from my last experience. It is weird that food here costs as much as it costs in other EU countries. Well, I don't know about meat, but fruits and vegetables. Even meat, actually, I once ate in a German restaurant for 6 euros  a fucking full meal with chicken breasts and a salad. Numbeo is fake.

[PurpleTree]

how to eat healthy?

 

eat an organic carrot

 

tadaa, healthy

[impulse9]

Veganism.

[Bojan]

2 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Families can be hard to accept changes or even suggestions for improvement. The last time I tried (sensibly) to suggest to my mom to do some minor cooking adjustments (such as using less oil and less sugar)  that would benefit her and my sister's health, I was met with a major backlash.

You could try to suggest cooking for the family occasionally and making them see and appreciate that healthier food can be tasty as well. But if you are up against family traditions and strong conservative values, you won't be successful on that front especially if the dynamics of the family is

• that the woman cooks
• the meal has to be tasty and savoury (means fatty and sugary) ,
• there won't be any changes because "this is what we have been doing always".

I couldn't have dissected it better myself. 

[Average Investor]

You have to make it a top priority. For me I would rather not eat if I cannot buy my healthy foods. I will do whatever it takes to make more money to buy the foods that I want to eat.

What would change in your life if you ate this way? More energy? Better Health? Better figure? 

You need a good vision of what you are going to get from this. If it is so important you will make sure that no matter what that you eat healthy foods.

Consider saving up and investing in a bit of cookware too. I would recommend an instant pot because it is fairly minimal in counter space compared to what it can provide. A good cutting board and knife would be a good investment as well.

[Michael569]

49 minutes ago, Bojan said:

250 euros is literally the minimum for rent. 
Ideally, for food I would need at least 200 euros or if I was able to grow my own food and not fear someone spraying it when I'm gone, that would be great. But then, I'd need a car, and that's an extra expense. 
Travel, also at least 200 euros a month. 
Hobbies and gym, that's around 50 euros plus books and so on... Even more. 
But the problem is that no one here will give me more than 250 euros a month. Even that's a challenge, as I've learned from my last experience. It is weird that food here costs as much as it costs in other EU countries. Well, I don't know about meat, but fruits and vegetables. Even meat, actually, I once ate in a German restaurant for 6 euros  a fucking full meal with chicken breasts and a salad. Numbeo is fake.

Ok so you're basically looking at 700 eur / month + some change for miscellaneous expenses. 

I looked at your profile saying you are Slovenian. From some quick search I found that an average salary in Ljubljana is 1200 euros net (after taxes and deductions). So there are options for better income for sure.  The next question is, what would you have to do to get a better salary? 

• What is your age and current level of education? 
• Do you have any university degree or are you trained in any craft?
• Could you move to a city with better average monthly salary? 
• Do you currently work full time or part-time? Could you take on some extra work? 

Also I don't know about your current diet, but maybe there are ways to make it cheaper such as buying from bulk food delivery companies. Things like legumes for instance are the cheapest food there is with a nutritional value 10 times what any meat or vegetable will give you. If you eat out a lot, that will take a significant proportion of your finances. Learning to cook in bulk, vegetarian meals based around legumes, root vegetables, local produce is a good option. 

I probably wouldn't invest in any exotic powders, superfoods and that kind of crap. 

Another possible saving is (if you live in small area) buying a used bike on Facebook market and not paying for public transport anymore. This way you could potentially get some extra exercise as well. You can buy a decent bike, used for 80 euros, get it serviced for 20 and you're good to go. 

Other small things are seeing where you have subscriptions you don't need,. pay for programs you don't use, money for idle socialisation (such as spending 30 euros on drinking once a week - not suggesting you do this , it is an example) etc. 

 

[Bojan]

3 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Ok so you're basically looking at 700 eur / month + some change for miscellaneous expenses. 

I looked at your profile saying you are Slovenian. From some quick search I found that an average salary in Ljubljana is 1200 euros net (after taxes and deductions). So there are options for better income for sure.  The next question is, what would you have to do to get a better salary? 

We talked in the past, I thought you maybe knew where I'm from. I don't need hobbies and the gym. I can do that at home with books and weights. 
Traveling is also a luxury I cannot afford, but I'd like to have a car. The biggest problem for me is that I cannot trust anyone, because even my mother has literally shown that I'm not in her interest and am disposable. She doesn't want me either. So even if I had that job with 700 euros for rent, car and food, I'd still be living in fear that someone is entering that place while I'm out of it, to ruin my health, and so on. You better believe it's possible. If I say something is possible, then it is possible. Safety has a price as well, and it's price is very high. For me, it can only be found somewhere else. 

[Bojan]

3 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Also I don't know about your current diet, but maybe there are ways to make it cheaper such as buying from bulk food delivery companies. Things like legumes for instance are the cheapest food there is with a nutritional value 10 times what any meat or vegetable will give you. If you eat out a lot, that will take a significant proportion of your finances. Learning to cook in bulk, vegetarian meals based around legumes, root vegetables, local produce is a good option. 

Legumes have carbs and other things that slow you down. But in this situation that I'm in, it might be a wise choice to go vegan, for the most part. Challenge accepted.

[Michael569]

1 hour ago, Bojan said:

We talked in the past, I thought you maybe knew where I'm from

Yeah, I remember but don't recall which country was it. Anyway, not important right now. I assume (based on your name) - former Yugoslavia or Balkan region. 

1 hour ago, Bojan said:

I don't need hobbies and the gym. I can do that at home with books and weights. 

good that saves a lot of money already

1 hour ago, Bojan said:

e biggest problem for me is that I cannot trust anyone, because even my mother has literally shown that I'm not in her interest and am disposable. She doesn't want me either

I'm sorry to hear that... Not something I can advise on but I'm sure there are people who could help you navigate around this challenge and make peace with it in your mind. Your mom has probably grown up in a family with very large scarcity mindset, she is a product of the environment she grew up in which was probably shitty. 

1 hour ago, Bojan said:

'd still be living in fear that someone is entering that place while I'm out of it, to ruin my health, and so on

I'm sure a good book on some shadow work and childhood conditioning could be a dramatic help. I'd also look into some of @Emerald's videos on youtube for some childhood trauma. 

 

1 hour ago, Bojan said:

Legumes have carbs and other things that slow you down. 

I'm gonna disagree with you on that. First of all carbs are needed and second of all, carbs in legumes are mostly complex which digest completely different to simple carbs in bread. Seriously, there is nothing in legumes that can hurt you. 

 

1 hour ago, Bojan said:

 But in this situation that I'm in, it might be a wise choice to go vegan, for the most part.

As long as you plan it well, this can be an option. But just make sure you don't eliminate mportan sources of calories and nutrients that could be affordable on your budget 

[Bojan]

10 hours ago, Michael569 said:

e biggest problem for me is that I cannot trust anyone, because even my mother has literally shown that I'm not in her interest and am disposable. She doesn't want me either

No. I was just emotional that night. A portion of my life savings was stolen on the internet, and I didn't get what I needed. If it really was the website that stole my money, why would these people do this to me? They did not do this to many of you who probably bought there as well. 

I can trust people is what I'm trying to say. Many people, including you.

10 hours ago, Michael569 said:

I'm sure a good book on some shadow work and childhood conditioning could be a dramatic help. I'd also look into some of @Emerald's videos on youtube for some childhood trauma.

Okay, I will see some of those videos. But you can find videos on You Tube that can prove this point to you, that regular door locks are not a good security measure. And about my childhood traumas, I've tried so many times to deal with it, contemplate it, journal about it. But past is in the past, and you can't change it.

And to add to this, years ago, me and a bunch of other kids were playing hide and seek. We hid behind an old car somewhere, and someone tried opening it. It was unlocked. We entered. In it there was spy equipment for unlocking doors. I swear to God this is true.

10 hours ago, Michael569 said:

I'm gonna disagree with you on that.

I think that every time I don't eat grains for breakfast, my energy stays stable. But I still have to test this, cause I'm not 100% sure. 

[Michael569]

27 minutes ago, Bojan said:

No. I was just emotional that night. A portion of my life savings was stolen on the internet, and I didn't get what I needed. If it really was the website that stole my money, why would these people do this to me? They did not do this to many of you who probably bought there as well. 

I can trust people is what I'm trying to say. Many people, including you.

fair enough, my bad for misunderstanding. 

27 minutes ago, Bojan said:

You Tube that can prove this point to you, that regular door locks are not a good security measure.

well,  criminality has always been and will always be part of any developed society but it shouldn't prevent you from becoming independent...this is what I'm trying to say. Are you going to live with your parents until you're 40 because you're scared of being mugged or robbed? This will significantly hold you back.

Maybe you need to start by not being so attache dto your material possessions. Have important data stored on cloud, don't keep valuables in your house, don't buy jewellery and crap like that. Seriously, if my flat was robbed, the most expensive thing here is probably my blender and my laptop, they are free to take both...I would be pissed ofcourse but everything is replaceable as long as your data is stored and the laptop is secured from entry and data abuse. Don't keep your money in your house if you can help it either. 

It is also possible (and I'm just assuming) that the city you live in has high crime rate? Maybe this should be a stimulus to move out? 

27 minutes ago, Bojan said:

And about my childhood traumas, I've tried so many times to deal with it, contemplate it, journal about it. But past is in the past, and you can't change it.

No, this is not just bout reading books, it takes serious amount of solid work for months to unwind this stuff. I don't know much about this but Emerald does which is why I quoted her there. This might be your step 1 thing that is holding you back in life....maybe, maybe not. I don't know enough about you to tell. 

27 minutes ago, Bojan said:

I think that every time I don't eat grains for breakfast, my energy stays stable. But I still have to test this, cause I'm not 100% sure

legumes are not grains. And whole grains and processed grains are different as well. By "grains for breakfast" are you talking about cornflakes and that sort of rubbish? Yes that stuff will destroy your energy levels like nothing else. Try some whole grains with fruits, nuts and berries and see how your energy is from those. 

[Bojan]

5 hours ago, Michael569 said:

well,  criminality has always been and will always be part of any developed society but it shouldn't prevent you from becoming independent...this is what I'm trying to say. Are you going to live with your parents until you're 40 because you're scared of being mugged or robbed? This will significantly hold you back.

Maybe you need to start by not being so attache dto your material possessions. Have important data stored on cloud, don't keep valuables in your house, don't buy jewellery and crap like that. Seriously, if my flat was robbed, the most expensive thing here is probably my blender and my laptop, they are free to take both...I would be pissed ofcourse but everything is replaceable as long as your data is stored and the laptop is secured from entry and data abuse. Don't keep your money in your house if you can help it either. 

I'm not afraid of someone breaking into my house and stealing my money, cause I would be able to call the police then. But what if someone unlocks the door, puts something into my food or water, then locks the door again? If I call the police, they will ask what drugs I'm on, send me to a psychiatrist, and lock me. And yet, this is exactly what might be going on. How do you call these people? Cause you can't call them "criminals." And then they fool around with me, stopping me from getting the medicine I need, etc. 

6 hours ago, Michael569 said:

It is also possible (and I'm just assuming) that the city you live in has high crime rate? Maybe this should be a stimulus to move out?

Yes, exactly. That's what I'm thinking about. Just don't know where I'm gonna move or how yet. 

 

[Michael569]

40 minutes ago, Bojan said:

But what if someone unlocks the door, puts something into my food or water, then locks the door again?