The best techniques to love yourself ?

[Gabith]

What are the best practices / techniques that produce good / lot of results for loving ourselves and becoming more authentic/confident ?

I struggle with confidence and authenticity, I made big progress since last year but if I'm honest with myself, I'm still insecure towards women and with myself.
I'm not shy like I used to be but I'm not a confident man

I can easily smile at a woman / stranger in the street and I did/do street interviews for years so it's quite easy to speak with strangers. BUT when it comes to becoming vulnerable / introducing myself, it's quite challenging and my mind don't want to be vulnerable or rejected by someone.

I know that self-love can increase my happiness / authenticity and confidence.
I try Leo's technique which is staring 5 minutes at my face in the mirror and trying to fall in love with myself. But I don't really know how to do that and it seems like I don't do it in the right way

Edited September 26, 2021 by Gabith

[SamC]

Parts work is one of them I think. Also, stop trying to love yourself, try to understand yourself instead.

Love is a consequence, not something you actively do.

[Rilles]

Soft and encouraging self-talk all the time, like the most loving parent you can imagine, but youre the parent and he/she is in your mind. 

Old me: "Man im such a loser, why cant i be like others" 

Me today: "Youre doing so awesome, look how much youve accomplished the past year, youre really strong, keep going."

This helps alot when im anxious too. 

Shadow work helps too. 

[Agoy]

Self Acceptance leads to Self-Love

What parts of yourself do you not accept? Why?

Ask yourself these sorts of questions daily and get to the root causes of Self-Judgement & insecurity. Journalling is a good method for doing this.

[Proserpina]

@Gabith

A technique I know and do simply for enjoyment:

Think of the most beautiful thing you can think of. For me it's the universe or reality itself but it can be anything.  Then transfer to your finite self.  The more mentally flexible and open-minded you are the easier it will be to transfer, absorb and create an association over time. 

Another: 

Go through a constant, daily process of purification to where a part of you has being perception mastered.  Visualize a being with being perception and have them turn their gaze on you.  You'll be filled with self love.

Edited September 26, 2021 by Proserpina

[gettoefl]

i am the missing ingredient

in every activity interaction engagement outlet

in this whole universe

even every tree looks at me in bowed adoration as i march from one place to the next

my arrival had been much heralded and is keenly felt

all existence champions my very movement

without me death is licking her chops in earnest

let's go get 'em

 

Edited September 26, 2021 by gettoefl

[Waken]

You could just make it your only intention of your life to love yourself. That's pretty much my 'approach' and I would say it's quite the same idea as following your passion, but just another way of looking at it. You know, you feel, the love that you crave for, so you can just feel what makes you feel good, that's love. For example if you feel like you're looking for confirmation or attention, you can give that to yourself. Give yourself the love, the nourishment that you are seeking/wanting to get from outside you, and give yourself the gift of your own support, your attention, your love. Self-love isn't something to force on yourself. What I like doing is I just find loving thoughts about myself when I feel some disturbance.

For example, if you feel insecurity around woman, something that could work for me is perhaps putting a hand at my heart and say something like 'I know I have some insecurity in relation to speaking with woman. I've felt that way for quite some time now and it's been quite a burden to feel this way for this long. I don't exactly know why, maybe I just didn't grow up around people that really felt the love they crave, and didn't relate to me in the loving way I craved. I know though, that in order to feel well in life, I only have to love myself, and I can give that to myself. I can always choose to be loving with myself, no matter what. And I know that if I can love myself, I can be an example for others too, so this world will be healed from the old energies of anxiety and that a new energy of love can begin'.
That sentence begins purposely with acknowledging and affirming how you feel in an accepting way, then gives the assurance and a sense of self-love that you might feel you crave and then even builds the energy a bit higher at the end into a bigger sense of love. Of course, you would benefit from making it your own, and finding thoughts that feel good to you. I used this method for example yesterday night when laying in bed, and I can build really great feelings of love with this method, and dissolved a lots of resistance like shame and fear. It's really powerful when done well. You can give the acceptance and nourishment you crave, to yourself as a loving gift.

Edited September 26, 2021 by Waken

[mandyjw]

Giving to others, journaling, meditation, just plain old doing stuff you love.

[Loba]

 

[hamedsf]

to accept yourself whatever you are in the present moment.

of course, it doesn't mean you won't like to become the best version of yourself coz making the best version of yourself is actualized by accepting your current existence. 

[Heaven]

My only advice would be to expand yourself to Reality.

[peanutspathtotruth]

What I find most useful is to drop all thought about love and just dive into the feeling of love. In the general sense, this feeling at some point definitely transcends what we usually call "feeling", but somehow it's still a most useful pointer to what to go for.

• Allow your attention to engulf your whole body for a while, maybe do some breathing meditation, whatever grounds you in your body and builds a soft but powerful presence / focus
• Feel into your chest area. Feel what's there. Even if you don't feel anything there for a while, just be curious and feel this space. Just like you would watch your breath, watch this area inside your chest. Be soft but curious about it.
• At some point, there will appear a warm, wonderful feeling. Depending on how closed your heart generally and momentarily is, it might feel like the faintest spark or the most intense firework. Just focus on the feeling, don't try to intensify it, but allow yourself to fall into it, to surrender to it.
• What helps opening your heart is the following: upon the in-breath, focus on the feeling and imagine it to be the sun, or a colored light source with immense brightness. While you breath out, feel this energy radiate with the intensity of the sun, all around you into infinity. Maybe start slowly by feeling it travel from your chest into your whole body, then beyond the body, then further and further into infinite space. Do this for a while and your heart will open.
• Now just bathe in that immense love, and see that it is drawing you in like a black hole, welcoming you to surrender to it.
• When emotions come up, investigate them and allow them to be engulfed and swallowed by the love.

That's it. No need to think your way into this. Feel. Open your heart wide. ♥️