Deep shame

[Gianna]

5 hours ago, WonderSeeker said:

it's a break in integrity. Having integrity is all about alignment.

oh shit. huge connection/epiphany for me here. 

 

5 hours ago, WonderSeeker said:

For me I get a sensation in my heart and throat areas. I was bullied much during my belongingness (heart chakra) & self-esteem (throat chakra) stages of development. 

ahh. that makes sense then! hm. makes me want to look into what chakras are in the gut. hehe. thank you! 

[WonderSeeker]

4 hours ago, lmfao said:

guilt guilt guilt. hmmmm
Okay I can feel something in my experience, maybe try to hold some space for it before thinking about it- yeah nope, not possible because the mind always moves. 
If you don't reject that it's impossible to view something independent of thinking you'll reach a standstill of no variation, see this and you'll be in no man's land  

Now I've got to find a way to carry this through, 

Bring up past experiences where others were appearing to be doing wrong to you. Notice how there's a flip side to this: you judged and blamed, thus contributing to their behavior OR the way that they were acting was out of innocent ignorance and you just couldn't see this.

If you realize that, then the next step would be to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not knowing better, for being so blind to your devilish behavior. But don't put the cart before the horse (forgiveness before admitting your devilry).  Cheers!

[WonderSeeker]

57 minutes ago, Gianna said:

makes me want to look into what chakras are in the gut. hehe. thank you! 

Yeah, web-search the correlations between chakras and psychological levels of development. Ken Wilber matches them in his work as well.

[yetineti]

Recently Leo saying ‘if you knew you were the devil you’d vomit’ has been echoing in my head.

Why? Because for me that’s true. I’ve been vomiting in disgust of myself.

Ive become isolated in disgust of myself.

[Gianna]

4 hours ago, WonderSeeker said:

Yeah, web-search the correlations between chakras and psychological levels of development. Ken Wilber matches them in his work as well.

Oh man, ty!