How long do you wait to have sex?

[Loba]

@Striving for more I have good intuition but could use work on social skills.

You can work if you like someone, but it takes more time to get to know them.

Knowing the person is important to me or I just can't get into it.

[gettoefl]

learn to sleep with me without having sex with me 

sharing space is way more of a mine field than sharing bodies

sex is fantasy, sleeping is reality

if you can't sleep with me without transcending my body boundaries you need to find someone else

learn to communicate with me before expecting any access to me body

for example i need to hear firm comfortable no's before i will trust your meek tepid yes

 

my bed you are welcome to if we get along, my body you need to work much harder for

[Leo Gura]

Remember, girls sleep with a guy based on the strength of emotional connection built.

It's the guy's responsibility to build that connection.

It could take a clueless guy 2 months to build that connection. Or a guy who knows what he's doing can build that connection within a few hours. The girl doesn't really care how many hours it takes. She isn't using a clock, she's using her feelings. So make her feel something for you and she will be glad to sleep with you sooner rather than later.

It's all about the emotions. It's not a mechanical process.

It's shocking how quickly deep intimacy with a total stranger can be built. Doing so is an art that can be mastered. Most people don't understand this. They aren't consciously building deep intimacy. They just leave it up to blind luck, which tends to take a long time.

Just locking eyes with someone for 10 minutes will build massive intimacy. Yet guys overlook something so simple and obvious.

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

Remember, girls sleep with a guy based on the emotional connection built.

It's the guy's responsibility to build that connection.

It could take a clueless guy 2 months to build that connection. Or a guy who knows what he's doing can build that connection within a few hours.

This is what I expected you to repeat a 1000 times. Because that's what I meant all along, I can't understand why someone doesn't get lt 

 

[Zen LaCroix]

7 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

It's shocking how quickly deep intimacy with a total stranger can be built. Doing so is an art that can be mastered. 

So how do you master this?

[gettoefl]

everyone needs to sleep at night, as for sex that is an fraught with lingering undercurrents

if you do spend the night with me, this gives assent that our lives are moving in a common direction ... sex meanwhile is much more complicated and can wait til we decide we are ready to talk relationship

i have no qualms about you spending the night on our first date

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, Zen LaCroix said:

So how do you master this?

That's what game teaches you.

You must approach and flirt with lots of girls until you learn how to develop intimacy quickly.

This is actually part of a larger skill set of socialization. You can learn to build intimacy even with dudes. It's a great skill to have.

My wingman and I would meet at a cafe on the weekend, set a timer, and just lock eyes with each other for 30 solid minutes.

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

You must approach and flirt with lots of girls until you learn how to develop intimacy quickly

Ahh, no way. It only teaches how to attract. This is the first time you are using this language 

 

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Ahh, no way. It only teaches how to attract. This is the first time you are using this language

Attraction is merely phase 1 of the process.

A guy rarely gets laid from attraction alone.

After phase 1 is complete, then he has to master phase 2: building rapport/intimacy. If he skips this step most girls will refuse to sleep with him, so he is forced to master it even if he doesn't want to.

Without solid intimacy a girl will give last minute resistance and weasel out of sex.

And then phase 3 is seduction.

1) Attraction >> 2) Rapport >> 3) Seduction = 4) Sexy Time

Each phase of the process requires training and mastery. Including #4!

[gettoefl]

if i do object to sleeping with you, this is pure game playing, that is me not really wanting to be with you, and you should drop me and move to the next

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

And then phase 3 is seduction.

1) Attraction >> 2) Rapport >> 3) Seduction = Sexy Time

Intimacy is more like   - in-too-mee-see

 

[HypnoticMagician]

I don't have sex. I am asexual.

[Preety_India]

11 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Without solid intimacy a girl will give last minute resistance and weasel out of sex.

And then phase 3 is seduction.

1) Attraction >> 2) Rapport >> 3) Seduction = 4) Sexy Time

Each phase of the process requires training and mastery. Including #4!

Actually I'm enjoying a lot of that in my current relationship especially 2) and 3) and 4)...

It feels AMAZING! Don't ask how. It just does. 

It feels like a dreaaaaaaaaaaaam

 

 

Edited September 27, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

13 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

And then phase 3 is seduction.

1) Attraction >> 2) Rapport >> 3) Seduction = 4) Sexy Time

Each phase of the process requires training and mastery. Including #4!

But you forgot one thing. This all should happen naturally. Spontaneously. 

Not in a nerdy formulaic computerized robotic fashion. 

That's the real fun. 

 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Leo Gura Always wondered what is requered for connection/rapport to be bulit? Usually it happens unconciously but knowing how to bulit it conciously would save alot of time ...dont know where to research that also its always some half baked information...

[Etherial Cat]

@Leo Gura

Intimacy is kinda a two way street.

Do you seriously mean that you manage to build in 2 hours intimacy with girls you meet at the club when you tell us we are too thick to get your insights on the regular? 

I'm not buying it. 

[somegirl]

On 9/25/2021 at 7:08 PM, Khr said:

From emotional health standpoint it’s not healthy for most women to get intimate too soon as most women can’t separate sex from love. From physical body standpoint, it’s recommended that you both get STD tests first, unless you don’t value your health much.

I didn't see this, this is very good point and one more reason why communication is important, before you guys sleep. Apart from emotional hurt, why noone mentioned this aspect too?

It's stupid tactic. Like, you would risk your health (even with protection) with a guy you don't even know that much just in hopes for a relationship to even start? And then what if you find out the next day that he's not actually serious about you anyway, blocked and deleted you, but you already put your health on a line with a guy whose health status you don't even know? Yeah, no... 

[PepperBlossoms]

Hmmm I would say it doesn't matter if you wait till second date or a year later - - either the relationship will work out and last or it won't.

So in that case - no need to wait super long.

I would say 2nd or 3rd time you hang out or whatever you feel comfortable with.

Congrats on finding someone.

The trick is that both people have to want to make the relationship work in the long run.  Which at the beginning, it may not be about that.  You don't know whether it is going to work and even if you've been together for years, it is still not guaranteed to work.  

Edited September 27, 2021 by PepperBlossoms

[sleep]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

But you forgot one thing. This all should happen naturally. Spontaneously. 

Not in a nerdy formulaic computerized robotic fashion. 

That's the real fun. 

Honestly I feel like it's not that easy, especially for most guys nowdays. You kinda have to build up your social and dating skills if you don't have any, if you don't have then the "spontaneous" process of attraction wouldn't happen at all, because it's not actually a spontaneous or natural process at all, it's a social skill that's developed. Just my opinion on the matter. 

[mmKay]

13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

 

@somegirl fun. People don't think too much.