My closest relative has 2 weeks to live

[RMQualtrough]

As per the title. Please help.

[Tim R]

@RMQualtrough I am so sorry to hear that... may I ask who it is and why there are only 2 weeks left? Perhaps this could make it easier for us to help you. You don't have to, of course. 

[gettoefl]

i love you my friend, i know this must be a very difficult time, my partner succumbed to cancer at the beginning of lockdown

i say this one is worth a read ... if not, give some more details and i will see what i can do

 

https://oshosearch.net/Convert/Articles_Osho/The_Osho_Upanishad/Osho-The-Osho-Upanishad-00000008.html

 

"

If he is a little alert in those seven days he can live seventy years or seven hundred years or the whole eternity - because now meditation becomes a priority, love becomes a priority... dance, rejoicing, experiencing beauty, which were never priorities before.

This week, the full moon night will be a priority because he will never see the full moon again. This is his last full moon.

He has lived for years. Moons have come and gone, and he has never bothered about it; but now he has to take it seriously. This is the last moon, this is the last chance to love, this is the last chance to be, this is the last chance to experience all that is beautiful in life.

And he has no energy anymore for anger, for fighting. He can postpone; he can say, After a week I will see you in the court, but this week let me be on a holiday.

Yes, in the beginning you will feel sadness, despair, that life is slipping out of your hands. But it is always slipping out of your hands, whether you know it or not. It is slipping out of everybody else's hands whether he knows it or not. You are fortunate that you know it.

"

Edited September 23, 2021 by gettoefl

[RMQualtrough]

14 minutes ago, Tim R said:

@RMQualtrough I am so sorry to hear that... may I ask who it is and why there are only 2 weeks left? Perhaps this could make it easier for us to help you. You don't have to, of course. 

My mom died of cancer when I was 14 and my nan has raised me until now, I'm 28 now. My nan has 2 weeks to live, she has cancer all through her body, she's been told essentially she can either come home to die or die in a hospice, which is up to her.

[Breakingthewall]

try to be with her 24 hours a day, whatever time she has left. you will be grateful for the rest of your life for having done it

[Endangered-EGO]

@RMQualtrough I'm sure this is a very hard time for you, knowing you'll lose someone you love soon. If you have siblings and relatives, spend time with them.

I don't know if you feel like spending time with her now, or stay alone, but both is okay.

Here's what I wish I had done before my grandmother died.

Write down how you remember her. Just usual stuff, what songs she listens to/sings. What things she said, the usual things, what she cooks, what hairspray she uses etc. . I promise you're not gonna regret it.

I she still clear-minded and can she talk? The first thing you're gonna forget is her voice, so if you're both okay with it, record her. It's so beautiful to hear the voice of a loved one who is not longer with us.

After 2 weeks of shock, if you manage do to small things here and there, not taking drugs, you'll be able to function again. It's still gonna be sad, but there's gonna be an okayness to that unimaginable sadness and loss.

I hope she's gonna get good palliative care, and is okay with leaving you in this world.

[Tim R]

@RMQualtrough I see. 

The best advice I can give you is: Love. 

There are many ways of how you can deal with this situation, but if all these ways have Love in common, I think this is the best thing you can do, both for yourself, your nan and those around you. 

Show yourself the love you need. If there is anything that you for example feel guilty for in your relationship to her, forgive yourself.  And vice versa, love her: if there is anything to forgive her for, love her. Forgive her. 

For one last time, accept and embrace her as she truly is, so deeply, that it breaks your heart. Embrace that she is just like you, limited, and embrace that despite that, she was selfless and loving. Love that. 

Maybe this doesn't even seem counterintuitive to you anymore, but to love is to let go. To say "I love you" is to say "I don't cling to you, I don't force you to stay".

Be with her. Maybe she is afraid. What she needs is Love. What she needs is you, being with her, saying "it's okay. I understand you, I feel you. I love you."

[r0ckyreed]

Yes! All you can do is Love and be in alignment with Infinite Love. Realize that death is Love. Death is deemed as evil in our culture, but our culture is wrong. Without death, life couldn’t exist. Death is what gives life meaning. Death is the end of our suffering, of our incarnation. Death isn’t the end of life, it is the beginning. Realize that and you will find strength. Realize that your nan is you and your Love can never die. Enjoy every moment. Life is finite and that is what makes it so damn perfect.

Edited September 23, 2021 by r0ckyreed

[Adamq8]

Im sorry to hear that brother  im available in pm if you need to talk ❤