Applying Theory To Everyday Life: A Musician's Perspective

[West]

Love this journal; you are super-consistent, and it's very interesting to see how you apply the theory. Entry 113 about your DIY pedal-software was so cool!

[Liam Johnson]

@Rider Thank you! Starting this journal was perhaps the best decision I made in 2016.  Appreciate the support  

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 119 | Accumulative Energy

Theory: As you focus your efforts on (e.g.) your life purpose, you may find that your energy levels increase with time rather than decrease.

Applying it: Once you've found your life purpose, sacrifice your time and energy to cultivate it and have fun while doing it.

 

So today could be described as a fairly uninteresting day in terms of the number of things that happened. Apart from meal times and taking the dog for a walk, all I've done all day is play guitar and sing. But blimey did I make some staggering progress today? Indeed I did! It's been a while since I've had the free time to play guitar for around 5 hours in a single day. After such a long time practicing physically demanding pieces non-stop (trust me!), somehow I have remained just as energetic at the end of it all. Not only that but my mind is craving even more practice time. It's just so much fun!

There's only one reason that I could plough through a 5-hour rehearsal day and still feel enthusiastic afterward. That reason is life purpose. I owe an awful lot to my parents for encouraging and funding my musical activities thus far. This has allowed me to find and cultivate something that I'm ridiculously passionate about. Not because of all the shallow benefits that it might one day bring. But because music is a force of nature that flows through my body and mind involuntarily.

It fills me with so much energy, love, and magic in the moment. It has also been a means through which I've transformed from a bullied, depressed 13-year-old, into a popular, loving 20-year-old. Given that I've suffered badly in the friendship aspect of life during my school years, it bewildered me when I realized how popular I had become at university sheerly for my guitar-playing. More than popularity though, I had also eliminated the need for friendship by becoming autonomous and self-sufficient.

Although a lot of my happiness has come out of this self-actualization journey over the last year or two, it does not compare to what I had found already: life purpose. Music has been my salvation without a doubt. Without it, I may have never started my self-actualization journey in the first place. In fact, it was the very first stepping stone for me to take towards self-actualization. That's the power of life purpose. Whenever I'm performing music, it doesn't feel like a job. It feels like a God-given blessing. It will never tire me. And if the past is anything to go on, it can only bring out the best in me.

 

Pick of the day:

"Heaven is all around, translated to sound."

 

 

[West]

I'm actually focusing on that right now. I've known logically for months that taking action towards my life purpose and meditation is the key to increasing both vitality, happiness and peace of mind, but actually doing it, that's another thing! Our psyche seems to be a very complex thing.

[Liam Johnson]

@Rider Yeah it's a whole new ballgame trying to apply what you know to what you experience on a daily basis. There's certainly a lot more to life purpose than meets the eye. Too much to begin to describe in one message! But if you believe that you can figure it out, then sooner or later you will 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 120 | Reflection

Phwoar. Ever wake up feeling like you've been reborn?

I don't know what to reflect on to be honest. All I can talk about is how things are at the minute. Past and future don't feel relevant. I've felt incredibly peaceful all day. This morning, I received a few insights that came in thought form but I can't remember them well enough to write them out. All that is left of them is an incredible sense of peace. In fact, stillness is a word that I have not fully understood until now. It has existed as a synonym for an inner peace but this is the first time in which I have experienced it for what it is. Stillness.

Leo's video upload today was very interesting, as always. As I watched it, a lot of doubt came up with what I believe my life purpose is and whether or not it belongs in the "hero's journey" category. As a third-year university student, of course I'm going to be looking to get a successful career as a musician. But chasing success is apparently not a part of the "hero's journey." Nevertheless, the missions in my life provide me with fear and doubt. If I described them to someone, they would think I'm crazy to chase such a goal. These are seemingly characteristics of the "hero's journey."

The fact that my mission brings about these characteristics makes me believe that I'm on the right path though. Perhaps the goal that I have set for myself is, in fact, the "holy grail" as it is meaningless in itself, but it requires a certain transformation of self to get there. The creative muses have made it abundantly clear that this mind and body was created to bring new music into existence. That is a scary thing to surrender to. Especially in this day and age where seemingly everybody is trying to be the next guitar hero or music master. But there's no going back now.

I haven't had the courage to really tell anyone my true goals in life. I've always provided diluted versions of these goals to others in fear of criticism and ridicule. Maybe I should open up here. It's perhaps best described as a spirit or force of nature that wants to express itself through me. In every single moment of existence, I've had a deep desire to create innovative, inspiring music. Even as I sit here, I can hear the creative muses playing to me some of the music I desire to create. Sometimes, this spirit is so powerful that I find it difficult to differentiate between these internal sounds from the external sounds of the universe.

It is my (devilishly difficult) duty to figure out a way to extract this internal music and reproduce it externally. There is no avoiding it. I know that I have the ability to gain regular musician jobs like teaching, musicals, cruise ship work, etc. But THIS is my life purpose. Because the music that appears to me is so indescribably beautiful that it simply must be shared. You guys really gotta hear what goes on in my head! But that's the thing; you can't. I have to sacrifice my secure, comfortable life in order to cultivate the music and share it with the world in a medium that it can be understood.

I don't know why me! I don't know why this could possibly benefit anybody. Music in itself is meaningless. But something beyond me is willing me to do this. This has got me real emotional. I didn't realize the true extent of this burning desire within me that has always been there. If anything, I've just thrown petrol on the flames and made it stronger. There is so much fear and doubt that this could make me homeless and penniless. But at the same time, there's a greater knowledge beyond logic and reasoning that is telling me that any other path in life would be the equivalent of suicide.

I'm fucking terrified, emotional, and excited at the same time. I have to sacrifice money, shelter, relationships, family, and lots of other things for this cause. But it's a cause completely worth fighting myself for. Dear God I must be mad!

 

Pick of the day:

Shoutout to the Indian Music Ensemble guys from university, ensemble leader John (santoor) and Henrik (flute).

 

 

[West]

I want to hear that music you hear in your head, it sounds pretty dope!

How well someone masters the technique of their work is how well they can share it with the world. Even though that work can be tough, I find it all the more satisfying when you sit down to create. I study physics, and we learn lots of math and programming in order to become effective scientists. Persistence, patience and lots of mental energy is required for this. But then we get to apply the new knowledge to physics, which gives us the opportunity to calculate, gather information about and analyze all sorts of fascinating stuff about nature that we didn't have the tools to do before.

You're probably in the same boat, whether it's improving your picking technique, learning to transcribe music from your inner ear to paper or expanding your knowledge of a music-creation software. All these things require mundane, everyday practice, but they will allow you to capture the magic when it arises.

A hero needs to sharpen his sword before he goes into battle.

[Liam Johnson]

@Rider If I could describe the music in any way, it would be futuristic!

And what a neat way to look at creation. As is probably true in your field of study too, you have to tune yourself to the creative ideas and concepts that come your way. Whether that be through practice, brainstorming, meditating, etc. The more fine-tuned you are to those things and the more accurately you can convert your ideas to reality, the more impact you can make in the world  

[jjer94]

In regards to your "music is meaningless" qualms... do some contemplation on that point. You may find that music has many different purposes for humanity. Otherwise, it wouldn't be around.

As for the issue of life purpose aligning with enlightenment...I'm still working on that one too. But this quote has helped put things in a different perspective:

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” --Howard Thurman 

I figure on the path to life purpose, we'll face all of our inner demons anyways.

Keep rockin on, man. I'm looking forward to hearing your covers.

[Liam Johnson]

@jjer94 That's a wonderful quote. It certainly puts everything into perspective.

It also fits in with whole "music is meaningless" angle. Perhaps what I was trying to say was that music doesn't serve the commonly believed function of making us happy. Happiness comes from within. There's nothing existentially special about music that separates it from all that is not music.

But in relation to this quote, music can serve as a means of communicating that energy of aliveness. No matter what the action is (performing music, serving a customer, baking a cake, etc.), it's always more beautiful to feel the love and joy that went into the action more than the action itself. Maybe this is where the meaning comes from.

Thanks for the support friend!

Edited April 18, 2017 by Liam Johnson

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 121 | Just Do It

Theory: Procrastination results from accepting low motivation levels. Motivation can increase when you push past it.

Applying it: Even if you feel unmotivated before carrying out a task/goal, push yourself to start the task anyway and watch your motivation levels begin to rise.

 

(I'm not linking THAT video. You know the one)

Often, starting things is the difficult part. Whenever we remind ourselves of a task we have to complete, we suddenly realize how low our motivation levels are and use that as an excuse to procrastinate. This is something I've been super familiar with during the Easter holidays. I've been putting off preparation for a traditional music exam for a while now because of this reason. However, today I forced myself to start using the incentive that suffering would be created otherwise.

The acceptance of low motivation levels is like accepting defeat. It's the ego's way of keeping you in its clutches. Which is fine if you want to reach a point in your life where you regret not taking action when you had the chance. But if you want to live an extraordinary life, you must raise the barrier. Always strive for better. Make the commitment to yourself that you are going to give it your best shot no matter how you feel. That means that you will not give in to laziness when the time comes to take action.

Often beforehand, the ego will make you believe that this task or goal will be one of the most painful experiences of your life. For example, putting out the bins. Anyone whose had to deal with flatmates at university will recognise how difficult a job this can be for some people. It serves as a great metaphor for the effects of procrastination. If you keep procrastinating from taking the bins out, they will keep overflowing regardless. It's best to take them out the moment that you receive the thought to do so, not a minute afterwards.

But when you get started with the actual task, it hardly ever ends up as bad as you anticipated. It may even be enjoyable. Note to self: just start it, eh?

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 122 | The World Knows

Theory: The only person that you deny your lower-consciousness behaviors to is yourself.

Applying it: Notice what lower-consciousness behaviors you may be denying to yourself and contemplate how they are subliminally communicated to the world.

 

Missed a day with the journal yesterday. It didn't feel all that good missing out on it either. One thing that this journal has done in my life is to make every day special and, literally, noteworthy. The fact that I missed a day yesterday suggests to me that I have pissed away a whole day. Of course, it's not true. But today, it got me thinking that the whole point of a public journal is to share it with others. In that sense, I feel like this journal is a way of serving anyone who wants to read it, not just serving myself.

So the insight came to me: whenever I'm slacking, the world will know about it. This journal is a very obvious example but the same is true for even the most subtle choices I make in my life. For example, whenever I've found myself eating unhealthy food, it doesn't take long for my acne to get worse. Whenever I decide to miss a day at the gym, suddenly I become much less energetic throughout the rest of the day. Whenever I miss a day of guitar practice, my guitar playing becomes sloppier.

These symptoms of lower-consciousness behaviors are picked up by others either consciously or unconsciously. The most obvious example is that of fitness. You can instantly guess how often somebody exercises and what exercises they do by looking at another's body. A more subtle example would be the relationship between sexual transmutation and facial complexion. If my memory serves me, there's a section in Think and Grow Rich which explains that the person who has mastered the art of sexual transmutation tends to have a more 'beautiful' facial complexion (i.e. less wrinkles). Don't quote me on that: I don't have the book in front of me to check! But there is an element of truth in the subtlety of these lower-consciousness behaviors.

The same is true for emotions. I'd like to think that I'm very good at sensing other people's emotions. It tends to be my role in conversations to be the listener. And, as a result, it's what I've got good at. By observing facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and even just the atmosphere of the room, I can see through the surface-level appearances and pick up on when someone is feeling stressed, depressed, anxious, or any other emotions underneath. And if I can pick up on these consciously, then the same must be true of my own emotions.

The fact that we are united as one would suggest that whenever I'm slacking, the world will know about it and be affected by it. I need to stop denying my lower-consciousness behaviors and rekindle with the supercharged life that I've gotten used to since starting this journal.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 123 | Vision Vs Imagination

Theory: There may not be a clear divide between what the eye sees and what the mind sees.

Applying it: Use a mixture of concentration and meditation techniques to examine your external (e.g. vision) and internal (e.g. imagination) senses.

 

Occasionally, I've been able to witness "psychedelic colours" during meditation sessions. Whenever I concentrate on a focal point for an extended period of time with minimal blinking, the colours of the room start to transform into other, nameless colours. It's as if the natural colours (blue, red, green, yellow, etc.) suddenly start glitching. This is all without the use of psychedelics or any other sources of stimulation. This phenomenon occurred once again. Only this time, an extra level of awareness took place to reveal something else.

After bathing in this new wash of colours with my eyes open, the time came to close them. What intrigued me was that even with my eyes closed, there remained a crystal-clear image of the room that I saw with my eyes open. The only difference was that this version of the room was coloured very differently. For example, the blue wallpaper and black television became orange and yellow.

There is probably a feasible scientific explanation for this phenomenon but I continued to ask questions. The first being "how can I still see the room with my eyes closed?" Another being "what if this colour scheme of my room is true all along?" But the biggest question that appeared was this: "How am I perceiving this altered room? Through vision or through imagination?" Whilst it couldn't have been through vision due to my eyes being closed, it also felt too vivid for it to be considered as imagination.

This made me suspect that there might not be such a clear divide between these two senses. This altered room was being perceived by something but I couldn't figure out what. Perhaps there isn't such a clear divide between internal and external senses. The same thing has occurred with sound. I've heard lots of sounds before and often wondered "did I imagine that or did it really happen?" In other words, "am I perceiving this internally or externally?"

It's time to start considering that there may be no such divide as internal and external senses. Maybe it's all one.

 

Pick of the day:

 

(Dunno why, but this was one of the most powerful memories I had of London 2012 as a sweet 16-year-old. The music speaks to me)

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 124 | Trusting Others

Theory: Trust comes from a set of assumptions that you create about other people, not a set of facts.

Applying it: Before you blindly put your trust in others, always take into account the facts first before you make your decision.

 

I made a mistake today! YAY! After driving back to Sheffield today for the final month of university, I had a bowl of cereal for my lunch (I was on a time limit and it was the quickest meal I could make). A few moments ago, I discovered that the milk I had consumed was 5 days out of date. Now I eagerly await for symptoms of food poisoning. Well done, Liam.

Why did I just blindly assume that the milk would be fresh? Because I trusted that my flatmates would have thrown it out if it was past its expiration date. Although I take full responsibility for my actions and have no grudge to bear, that blind trust was a leading factor that made me do it. I didn't think to check the date on the bottle because surely my flatmates would be sensible enough to throw it away. Well, obviously not 

This is a lesson about trust that I may learn about the hard way. If only I had been present enough to observe the date on the milk carton before consuming it. That presence was taken away with the sense of hurry that was occupying my mind. The bizarre thing is that this exact incident has happened before! But the milk was only 2 days out rather than 5, so it wasn't too bad. Initially, I became pissed-off at my flatmates for not having the sense to throw out old food. But now that I'm in a position to understand that the fault was due to my trust and not to them, it seems pretty laughable now. I'm starting to feel a little queazy, but what the hell?

The only solution that was available to me to settle the matter was to regain trust in myself to do things for myself. I will not allow myself to be in a position of trust (only in this instance) towards my flatmates. As such, I've told them that I will stop consuming communal food/drink and start buying it for myself. There's no need to slag them off at their inability to fulfil my expectations of them.

At any rate, tomorrow's entry might be a laugh if I end up vomiting all night!

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[West]

I just meditated some more about the Now in my meditation session today. It feels weird that my mind insists that the past and the future exists, but the only thing that I experience is now. Also, the now seems dynamic; everything is moving. However, how can movement exist in a timeless space? It's a paradox, but it probably just takes awareness and time before a solid, juicy insight appears.

[Liam Johnson]

@Rider Nice! It's a fascinating topic. A sentence that I find real helpful is "there is no better moment than right now." It helps to repel any belief systems that the past or the future is somehow richer than life right now. And that's a neat paradox, definitely worth contemplating. Another I like is that whilst you can remember the past and envision the future, both of these acts must exist in the present moment. Otherwise, how could it exist? 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 125 | What's So Funny?

Theory: People generally ask the question "What's so funny?" because they want to feel the same emotions as the one doing the laughing.

Applying it: Contemplate why people say what they do with the intent of understanding what they are trying to get out of you.

 

This hit me last night in bed. I couldn't get to sleep easily because I was in a state of euphoria over life. It felt so good that it caused me to laugh to myself. What made me laugh even more was the fact that people will almost always ask you "what's so funny?" whenever they hear you laughing out of context. The insight into why they do this came to me last night and it seems pretty conclusive: because they want their share of positive emotions. They want a reason from you so that they can participate in the laughter too.

This is interesting because it highlights the unawareness of one of the most foundational truths about emotions: they come from within. There is no external circumstance that can create emotion because emotion seems to create itself based upon thoughts and beliefs. It's an inner game. That's why it puzzles people whenever they catch me laughing to myself when nothing apparent seems to be funny.

It's interesting to look at people's behaviors and responses with a bigger picture in mind. This is only one innocent example. On a side note, I've found this skill to make it obvious to myself how other people are using me, and I am using them. This is something that I would like to change in myself. People aren't to be treated like tools. But as far as observation and contemplation is concerned, they can certainly prove to be an excellent source of study.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 126 | Physical Pain

Theory: Suffering comes from the resistance to physical pain rather than directly from the pain itself.

Applying it: Whenever you injure yourself, be accepting of what the present moment has become and embrace your injured self.

 

Didn't exactly feel like writing yesterday. I made the effort to sit in front of this screen and wait for inspiration to strike, but it just so happened that nothing new seemed to appear. Which is fine!

This morning, I injured my arm coming down the stairs. It took away a fair amount of skin and has left some pretty large bruising on it. But there's a part of me that likes the rugged, 'tough guy' look. It matches the many other cuts and scars on my hands and arms that I've received over time. My guitar is also rough around the edges with scratches and dents all over it. Part of me loves the 'wear and tear' aesthetic, which explains a lot.

It definitely explains how little I suffer from cuts, bruises and scars. But also, I'm extremely grateful to have fully functioning muscles, non-broken bones, and a healthy body. A few cuts and bruises really aren't that groundbreaking. The same can be said for temporary aches and pains. It's because of this outlook that I've never really suffered from physical pain in a long time.

I never really considered that this could be quite an achievement. But when you observe others who are constantly complaining about their aches and pains, it just makes you even more appreciative of your healthy body and healthy mindset. Of course, old age will inevitably play a part in the growing number of aches and pains. But I sincerely hope that I can remain as present and self-accepting when I'm 80 as I can now.

What's clear is that suffering comes from a resistance-based mindset. And given that I'll embrace anything rough and ready, I ain't suffering!

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[West]

49 minutes ago, Liam Johnson said:

Entry 126 | Physical Pain

Theory: Suffering comes from the resistance to physical pain rather than directly from the pain itself.

Applying it: Whenever you injure yourself, be accepting of what the present moment has become and embrace your injured self.

This is a topic that I'm focusing a lot of my consciousness work on at the moment. Peter Ralston is my go-to guy for contemplations about pain; he could sit through a drilling of his tooth without anesthesia without suffering from the pain. Actually, I think he said he barely felt it, which is weird. I think that your advice to accept the pain is good advice if followed, but that it's very unlikely that you actually will accept it without prior consciousness work on the matter. In my experience, I can try to accept pain when I stub my toe, and it helps. However, I can also see that without meditation I would suffer more, and that with more meditation I will suffer less.

[Liam Johnson]

@West Heard that guy's name a few times. He sounds pretty interesting in that respect. Like you say, he must have done a heck of a lot of consciousness work to become so resilient to and accepting of the pain. I've not yet been experienced to physical pain of that nature. Although, my karate background may have made me more able to withstand the pain later on. It's hard to say. Meditation will certainly lessen the suffering, maybe to the point of nothingness one day.