Applying Theory To Everyday Life: A Musician's Perspective

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 314 | Embodying The Authentic Self

Theory: You can be absolutely great at what you do and never stand out in your field of work. The only way you can is if you embody your authentic self.

Applying it: Search within yourself to find the authentic quirks that you possess. Then be brave and amplify those quirks in your field of work.

 

As a kid growing up in the late 90s and early 00s, one of my first passions was wrestling and fighting. Although we never had Sky TV at home to watch WWF Attitude back in its heyday, I remember owning videos of some of the pay-per-views around that time and I loved the shit out of them. It resonated with me at such a young age that I then went on to take karate lessons long before my first music lesson until I got my first black belt at around 10/11 years old. Around that time, my passion with music started to bloom which led me to this day.

This information is important to me in searching for my authentic self. I knew that there was something about WWF (now WWE) that attracted me to it but the reason was never clear. Thanks to YouTube, I've been able to rewatch some awesome clips from that era to realise what I missed out on as a kid and also to learn about what drew me to it in the first place. In summary, it felt incredibly pure and authentic. There were exciting matches and stunts, excellent characters to become invested in, men and women kicking each others arses, and some of the best insults and profanity ever. It was completely unapologetic about its flaws and delivered content with great confidence.

I watched some wrestlers on YouTube talking about what makes a successful "character" that stands out from all the rest and it boils down to the same thing: self-expression and authenticity. Specifically, to discover your own unique character traits and quirks and amplify them up to eleven. Of course, I'm no wrestler. But I am a performer. And in terms of making a profit from providing entertainment, this advice is what I need to be listening to. I need to completely embody and amplify my authentic self in order to stand out. I've got the skills. All that's missing is the "character."

And I'm starting to explore that already. For example, the way I dressed today was a bit of an experiment to step into something more authentically me: baseball jersey over a longline tee, light denim jeans, blue Adidas shoes and a grey cap to top it off. Not many people seem to dress like that where I'm from. Maybe it's a stupid look! But to me, there's just something pulling me towards that style. It's something I'm continuing to explore along with many other quirks that are mine as I discover them.

These days, people can tell when you're being a phoney and inauthentic. That's why authenticity, no matter what shape or form, is the way to go.

 

Picks of the day:

 

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 315 | Had Another Paradigm Shift

So I've just completed another task of the Life Purpose Course and was reminded in a shocking revelation why buying this course would be a good idea. There's a whole "chapter" on discovering your top values in life. Within the first few tasks, I was convinced that of the ten values on the list, my top value was excellence. It made so much sense. Without excellence, I would not have been able to experience the life of a musician in this way. My pursuit of being an excellent guitarist has lead me to some of the most memorable moments of my life. I seriously love what I do!

Just a moment ago, I completed the 8th task in the chapter. This one had you visualise two different lifestyles in such a way that you could decide which value is most important. This was a pretty lengthy task and the first two days I did the list, it seemed like a foregone conclusion. Excellence had to be my number 1 value, that much felt certain... Except, it wasn't. Excellence came in as my second most important value. Wanna guess at what value might have appeared at the most important?

Suffice to say that I'm utterly shocked. It does honestly feel like a paradigm shift in terms of what implications it has had on my life up until this point. Having pursuing excellence for so long, I've failed to realise that for so many years there has always been something underpinning everything in my life so far. A life with lots of excellence and little of this value would honestly be less fulfilling to me. Even if I had very little excellence and an abundance of this value, I would die fulfilled. There's only one word I can use to sum up this value and that is joy.

Not just the dictionary definition of joy, but joy in my own terms. A life without resistance or self-doubt. A life whereby everything feels so alive and beautiful. A life where every problem is not an obstacle but a challenge, knowing that there is no problem I cannot solve.

That is the exact feeling I get from playing the guitar and it's the exact feeling that I have been addicted to for so many years. I got it all so fantastically wrong! I don't enjoy playing the guitar because I'm excellent at it. It's always been because I feel so joyful with it! Hell it had to be because if it were the former, then I'd have chucked the guitar away years ago as a beginner because of my lacking ability to play a tune.

And so, on the journey I'll keep on going. With what I've discovered today, there's a whole life to live where joy is my top priority above excellence.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Benjamin Jackson]

As a witness to your work, this makes so much sense! It's like everything's slotted into place, the way you describe these values now

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 316 | Resistance As Usual

Theory: For every time life hands you a huge opportunity for growth, resistance will always have to be defeated first.

Applying it: Force yourself to do what is right for the long-term even when you feel like you don't want to.

 

Hehe, it's been a while hasn't it? So having made that huge breakthrough on Tuesday with my values, resistance has fooled me once again. The ego is still wanting me to quit after all this time. But when the excuses sound logical and convincing, that's when you have to double down on the progress that you've made. Admittedly, I haven't totally quit everything for the last few days. Mainly the journaling and the course videos (probably to give my subconscious mind a break to process the new information).

Sure resistance may have had its victory over the last few days in that regard but there is no way that it's going to become a reason to quit. As the resistance becomes stronger and stronger, I'm getting tougher and tougher with every time I manage to overcome it. It's like that video game boss who just keeps getting back up time and time again to kick your arse.

It's certainly not felt like the easiest year so far. As I start to get back on track with one habit, it's like something else gives way to accommodate it. I've had to stop reading books for a while to accommodate the course. My music work has started to take over the self-actualization work that I do. Perhaps I'm still finding the perfect balance for everything yet. Things just seem really overwhelming at the moment. And that's the resistance. Opportunities for growth are coming at me more and more nowadays. It's just a matter of whether I can be accepting of them instead of resisting them.

Bit of a naff entry probs! But as with resistance, I felt like something needed to go in this space. Just sitting down and working through it proves to myself that quitting is never going to be an option. Not today.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 317 | More On The Upper Limit Problem

Theory: Subconsciously, the mind will want to sabotage any elevated feelings of joy that you feel.

Applying it: Notice the behaviours that follow after prolonged periods of joy. Ask yourself "are these actions diluting the amount of joy that I'm feeling?" Once you become aware of them, you can start to learn from and deal with these behaviours from a loving place.

 

I've been awful quiet recently. Can't really give much of an excuse for the weekdays. But last weekend, I had such a joyful time with my boyfriend. We hadn't seen each other in about a month and I wanted to spend as much time as possible with him to catch up. We watched "Coco," which was a beautiful, emotional film that hit home for me (guitar player, y'know!). And it felt real difficult to have to leave that joyful environment to come back home. Well, at least that's how this morning went.

The behaviours that I've done in the last 24 hours have been a result of the Upper Limit Problem. I stayed up too late last night watching YouTube videos and generally did very little throughout the day. But the reason why I don't feel like beating myself up is that I can see that this is the Upper Limit Problem working subconsciously. After a beautiful weekend, my subconscious mind has been trying to bring my joy levels back to a more comfortable range.

Being mindful of this through the day has helped me to keep making the right decisions, especially in terms of snacking on food. So many times, the thought of eating some chocolate chip cookies occurs in my mind but reminding myself of the Upper Limit Problem keeps me in check. Also, visualising my boyfriend encouraging me to make the better choice has helped too. And so I can forgive my actions and learn from them now. No need to guilt trip myself like I often do.

The good things I've done today have been very good indeed. That's all that matters to me right now.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 318 | Oldest Lessons Learnt

Theory: Just because you learned a lesson a long time ago doesn't mean that you are going to remember it for the rest of your life.

Applying it: Remember the nuggets of wisdom that came to you years ago. They may be able to help you in the now.

 

Once upon a time, I journaled. Then I didn't journal. And now I'm journaling. The End.

...

Nah not really!

Yesterday was a bit of a strange one. You'd think after all this time of doing self-actualization work that the things you've learned would stay learnt. But nope. I spent quite a lot of time in self-indulgence before it came to my first gig of the year. It was a student social back at Sheffield University. And when I thought I was arriving at the correct time, it turned out that I arrived 2 hours early. With no phone on me (because it's still broke and under contract), I had to make the decision to stay or go. After 1hr 30mins of searching frantically around the different venues in Sheffield thinking that there might have been a mistake, I tired myself out and went home.

And then I discovered that the event was at 9:30pm not 7:30pm. Well shit! That certainly put me in a bad mood. There's something about music performance that evokes lots of energy. The nerves and excitement build up right until you perform the first note and release it all through your medium. But instead of channeling that energy through a performance, I had to let it extinguish itself the hard way. I came home feeling hopeless, drained, ashamed, gutted.

I called my boyfriend to discuss things over and he allowed me the space and the coaching to help me realise the root cause of my suffering. And as we sat in silence for a few moments, I slowly remembered one of the most powerful nuggets of wisdom that I discovered last year at university. Not to fix the feeling, not to avoid or resist the feeling, but to allow the feeling.

To remember that all emotions are neutral. The only thing that makes a feeling negative is through avoidance, resistance and reaction. And so I sat and just allowed those emotions to be as they are, without trying to fix anything. And sure enough, the pain and discomfort was there. But as awareness levels increased, the emotion started to convert into joy. And I ended up laughing and loving the present moment even more. It helped me to accept what had happened, embrace what is happening and be positive about what is left to come.

This isn't the first experience like this I've discovered. They were really frequent last year. Maybe the older journal entries go into detail about them. But it's a wonderful technique that works wonders. And it's one that I need to remember in future.

 

Pick of the day:

 

Edited February 16, 2018 by Liam Johnson

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 319 | Live Your Passion In Different Ways

Theory: Even if your passion in life might seem specific, you'll find that you can explore it in plenty of depth and find new ways of living it.

Applying it: Try not to place yourself in one pigeon-hole as a "Fingerstyle guitarist," "minimalist artist," "pure mathematician," etc. Use the skills that you have acquired from these things to apply them in a whole new domain.

 

It's been a while since I caught up with any music students from university. But today, I drove up to my best friend at uni to have a jam. He told me that he had recently joined a gypsy jazz band and asked if I would be interested. Me and him probably knew as much about gypsy jazz as we did about rhinoceros psychology but we both gave it a go. It was such a fun experience in the end! We were able to utilise our skills in a completely different playing situation. He finally got to use his double bass and I had a blast at some soloing, Django Reinhardt style.

It's kinda put me on a high. Maybe it's the fact that I've missed his company and met his bandmates but it's also to do with the fact that I feel like I've improved even further as a player. My soloing skills were actually pretty tasteful to listen back to. I didn't feel the need to shred some fast scales in order to show that I could shred. And also because it's jazz, it's not easy to solo over constantly changing chord progressions like that. This is ultimately why I love music so much. Learning new pieces in new genres with new people.

It's a healthy reminder that even after so many years of playing music, there's always plenty more to explore. In fact, it's like science and mathematics in that once you understand one thing, then it raises possibilities to twenty other things. And also, this experience has reminded me that I should never be in this for the success, fame or money. I genuinely love performing music, both on my own and with other people. It's one of the biggest jobs in my life. And when I move back to Sheffield for good, maybe I'll feel more inclined to rekindle those friendships I made with other musicians.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 320 | Reflection

In a nutshell, 2018 has been a turbulent year so far for me. But I'm getting to the bottom of it. Only a few days ago, I discovered that one of the major things holding me back (which has been there for a long time) is being humiliated. There is a part of me that would hate to be humiliated for showing up as my authentic self. It's a vulnerable place to be in when you try to live authentically. You literally open up your soul to the world. And there's every possibility that you are going to show up in an embarrassing way.

But it shouldn't really matter as much. Because the more I can feel comfortable about being authentically who I am, the more joyful life is going to be. Sometimes, it feels like this journey is so much nearer the beginning than it is the end. That's the point, right? But constantly feeling like I'm at the beginning can impede my progress in creating the things I want to create. After posting several YouTube videos of my latest compositions, my ideas are starting to feel less plentiful. The call to produce something greater is there. It's just about whether I feel willing enough to be vulnerable and go for it.

Things are slowly coming together on a material level though. I've been invited to perform for festivals and charity events that are likely to receive a big crowd. Ideas are forming about where to get money in future. New bands and performing opportunities are presenting themselves to me. There's so much to be excited about. And yet there's still that constant worry of money. Will I ever have a steady income? Will I ever be broke? This is one of the fears that gets in my way. This is where the self-actualization work needs to be focused.

Came away from a pretty charged day today after many days of not living up to my full potential. Had some amazing lessons with my pupils, lifted heavier weights at the gym, ate lots of healthy tasty food, and came up with an arrangement of the Wallace And Gromit theme tune for the guitalele. I feel pretty content with how things are at the moment. My worries for the future are pretty huge though and need to be faced eventually.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Benjamin Jackson]

Is there a chance part of worrying about humiliation is the ego going 'oh look! Everything's going well, let's sabotage!'? I think this is something that can arrive after the initial excitement of being more authentic seems to disappear. I've been feeling a similar thing, I think. I guess, for me, I'm trying to remember that things are just things and can't hurt me unless I think about them in a way that lets them. My biggest worry of 2018 so far seems to be self-worth - how do you think this links in with humiliation? 

[Liam Johnson]

@Benjamin Jackson Yep, there's the Upper Limit Problem that Gay Hendricks describes in his book The Big Leap. He explains that we all have happiness thermostats as part of our psyches and if our happiness levels get too high, we subconsciously try to lower them again to a comfortable level that we have gotten used to. Living happy all of the time is a radical act but is possible  

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 321 | My Desire To Be Independent

My commitment levels need to be examined and addressed. There's no way that I'm giving up on this journey but it seems like my sense of direction has gotten muddled recently. My vision is less clear than it once was. More to do with the fact that I believe there is a lot more to it than what it was initially. 2018 is the year that I would like to establish a truly independent lifestyle. Moving away from home and into a house with my boyfriend is my goal. Most importantly, it's the desire to move out of the pretty dead town of Ollerton and into the gorgeous city of Sheffield.

Something is telling me that my music career will succeed much better in Sheffield than it ever could here in Ollerton. There's plenty of venues to wander into and ask for gigs. There's the bustling streets to have a go at busking. But what's going to inspire me most is my living situation. I've found a gem of a partner to be with who is just as passionate about music (even my music) as I am. Moving away from home is going to be difficult but recently I've felt like it's holding me back. It's too comfortable and I can't truly feel myself with my parents.

Although my income situation isn't the best, I've got enough savings from university bursaries to make this work for at least a year or two. It really isn't about earning lots of money with me though. Sure it'd be nice to provide value for people that attracts large sums of money but it's not the goal with me. For the time being, I only want to earn enough money to afford to live. Then once I can prove to myself that this is possible, I'll be able to grow.

Perhaps the reason why I have gotten off-track is because I've gotten accustomed to being comfortable, which is a real danger. There's no real need to earn money living with my parents. It's much easier to indulge in pleasurable activities with my boyfriend than it would be to help each other grow. I must remember not to beat myself up about these things to the point that I can't even enjoy those moments. But I need to have the understanding that much greater things are over the horizon. I need to remember to delay gratification and feel the discomfort now in order to feel the fulfilment later.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 322 | Coming Out

Theory: When you've been lying to people for years about yourself, telling the truth at long last will provide you with deeper fulfilment than you currently live.

Applying it: If you have been keeping a secret about yourself from everybody, bite the bullet and confess the truth. Once you realise that it's not going to harm anyone, you can appreciate the authenticity of your actions and be happy with the person you are.

 

Me and my boyfriend made it Facebook official today after several months of being together. The relationship has gone from strength to strength since we first met in June. And although a cynical viewpoint could be taken when it comes to announcing our relationship on Facebook, we definitely weren't doing it for the attention nor the gossip. For us both, it was about one thing: confessing the truth. The truth that we have both been suppressing for many years from those we love.

We were both incredibly nervous about doing it to the point of shaking. But having done it, we both feel so much more relieved and authentically ourselves. Both of us had grown up in a time where being gay/bi was still not as widely accepted as it is these days. Some people religiously detested it and others just wanted to be cruel towards people based on their sexuality. As we've grown older, we both realise that not only has tolerance of sexuality increased in our culture but we also don't need to hide what we are anymore from others.

Sure it might ruffle some feathers and put the cat among the pigeons by telling those dearest to us about our situation. And sure enough, we might have to face rejection from certain other people who just can't tolerate it. But the empowering feeling that comes from declaring my best kept secret from the world has left me feeling confident in who I am in a whole new way. It doesn't matter at all what others believe about me or my partner. We're untouchable now. We proved to ourselves that we can be happy with who we are, not who we tell ourselves to be.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Rob06]

@Liam Johnson Cool writing style Liam! I'm a fan, although I only read a couple of your entries. I'm especially interested in how you apply the Life Purpose Course to your life as a musician. Did you finnish it yet?

I'm also working on the Life Purpose Course at the moment (working on my values), and am also very passionate about music.

Is it your plan to combine music with personal development? 

[Liam Johnson]

@Rob06 Thank you! Yeah it's great how much impact the course has had on my approach to music so far and I'm also on the values section at the moment. It's always pleasing to meet a fellow music lover

So far, my plan is to focus on creating new music and content for my YouTube channel. I also do some teaching and function gigs on the side. But it would be really amazing to share everything I've learned so far on my self-actualization journey in some way

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 323 | It's Snowing... Whoopee-fricken-doo

Theory: If you're lazy about doing your job, you'll find any excuse to weasel out of it. Even more so if you live in the UK and it snows.

Applying it: If you feel the need to excuse yourself from your work, get in touch with your intuition and figure out whether you are avoiding your job or if you legitimately cannot do it. In nearly all cases, it's going to be the former.

 

What's happening in the UK today? The news has been whining like a little bitch about a bit of snow on the ground. And a lot of other important things but none more important than a little bit of snow on the ground. The news want to put the fear of God into everybody in the country because there's a bit of snow on the ground. The cars on the road dare go no faster than 30mph because there's a bit of snow on the ground. And there's snow on the ground. Snow. SNOW. SNOW!!!!

So there's the broad strokes about what the UK is looking like right now. If it weren't for the fact that the snow in our area isn't even an inch thick, I might believe that the news is giving me something to worry about. More than that, if I hated my job, it might give me an excuse to not go to it. Or an excuse to not go to the gym. "Don't drive, it's not safe" is pretty much what they are saying. But I did it anyway. Might have skidded a bit but it wasn't anything that bad. I managed to do my job and go to the gym without being a sucker for the worries that the news wants to throw at me.

My intuition tells me that despite the commotion on TV, there's nothing to worry about whatsoever. There are countries in the world far worse off than petty old Britain is when it comes to snow on the ground. And the work I do that involves me braving the weather (today was gym and guitar tutoring) has become almost sacred to me. I do the work because it's deeply fulfilling. And there is no amount of weather in England that's ever going to stop me from doing what I love.

So my message for all UK residents: keep chill. Don't listen to the news. Use your own judgment and intuition without having anyone put thoughts in your head. It really isn't all that bad.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 324 | Infinity In Simplicity

Theory: Playing the most simple, stripped-back form of music might sound restricting and boring. Yet even this has an infinite amount of possibilities for exploration.

Applying it: Try to simplify your art form as much as possible and dive into it for as many hours as you can. After the initial boredom, you'll soon discover that you have become completely engrossed in the many intricacies of it.

 

What a wonderful twist of fate that the day after a post about a bit of snow on the ground, today would be legitimately dangerous to drive to my work and complete it! Proof: the snow was so thick that I couldn't see the divide between the road and the pavement and my destination is in a rural environment, making it even more treacherous. It looks wonderful looking from the inside though!

Today I did some practice for a function event coming up this Sunday. They've asked me to perform for around 4 hours (which is pretty crazy by any standard). But the atmosphere is supposed to be relaxing and atmospheric so it should be pretty chill. The kind of music I'm preparing is very stripped-back and simple but with enough potential to last the duration. I've decided to do something along the lines of North Indian classical music. I managed to improvise for what felt like an hour today. Although it felt like an impossible task to start with, the musical ideas just kept coming once I had begun.

That's the thing with keeping it simple: it becomes so effortless to add ideas to it. The simplicity of the music comes from the underlying drones throughout the performance and the limitations of only using one scale or raag (generally speaking, Indian scales). Today I experimented with Raag Malkauns which only contains five notes. At first glance, trying to improvise for even 1 hour with only five notes to play with can seem almost impossible. But with simplicity comes infinity.

By starting very slowly and deliberately, I slowly become immersed in the raag while I start to know it's 'character.' Once I start resonating with the raag and start thinking in its own terms, eventually ideas will make themselves apparent. First, very simple phrases. Then perhaps a composition and variation. And as the ideas become more complex, so too does the music. The possibilities begin to grow exponentially.

It's the same with any creative process. Suppose that every nugget of wisdom or new ability that you are going to learn lies behind a single door. By simply and deliberately opening the first door of possibility, we are presented with two more doors. And behind each door is another two doors. And the more doors you go through, the more personal the journey through the process becomes. Your wisdom and skillset becomes more uniquely defined. Because there are an endless amount of doors and there are only so many people to walk the Earth, it's guaranteed that your journey is going to be like nobody else's.

All we must do is continue to walk the path long enough to reach that inevitability.

 

Pick of the day:

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 325 | Squishy Brains

Theory: Our minds are always evolving. What seemed to be true last month may be very different today, which means it's always valuable to evaluate things from time to time.

Applying it: Notice every thought that you have about yourself today and ask "are these still true in my life today?" Then follow it up with "...or are they just recycled beliefs from the past?" This way, you can detach from old beliefs and make space for new ones.

 

So a few weeks ago, I made the discovery that my top value was in fact 'joy' and not 'excellence' as I believed. Looking back on my time since then, I spent many days afterwards heavily resisting something. Obviously something didn't seem right. Perhaps it was because I had discovered something new about myself. I stopped doing the course at this point until my instincts guided me back towards it yesterday. The resistance finally came away to reveal that something wasn't right with many things on the list. Many of my values could be merged together into one representative value.

This happened for several values on the list and changed it dramatically. No longer is 'joy' a part of the list because I have merged it with 'wisdom.' The reason is because I realised that it was too close to happiness in my mind, which would have defeated the whole point of the process (and it did for a while). This list of values is supposed to provide happiness so therefore it cannot be a part of it. Ever since this realisation dawned on me, suddenly it feels like there is no spanner in the works regarding the course. No resistance towards it. Or at least, not much of it compared to before.

Clearly, this had to happen because it did. My subconscious mind had noticed the flaw long before my conscious mind felt willing to listen. There are lots of questions I've yet to answer about myself now. Is wisdom now my top value? Or excellence? Or three of the new values I've added to the list: connection, elegance/simplicity, and service/helping others? Already, this updated list feels representative of everything I want in this life. It actually feels uplifting. This process was never going to be forgotten about. The path I choose is the truest one to me. And that is this one.

Where it will lead to is the biggest question.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Rob06]

11 hours ago, Liam Johnson said:

My subconscious mind had noticed the flaw long before my conscious mind felt willing to listen.

Interesting. I also have my top 10 most important values now, but I'm still not quite sure about all of them. Something doesn't feel exactly right yet. I might go through the whole process another time, just to be sure and to see if any differences occur.

Curious about what the positive and negative motivation excercise will do for you, that's where I currently am (pass #09).

[Liam Johnson]

@Rob06 If you feel like something needs overlooking and there's some resistance there, then it's definitely worth doing. My resistance lasted around 2 weeks but it's completely gone now. I've returned to feeling positive and enthusiastic about it again.

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 326 | The Good Life

Theory: When you realise just how awesome your life is, your gratitude for receiving this gift shines through the positive actions that you take.

Applying it: Instead of telling yourself "you have to do this in order to grow," take a moment to be present with the activity. Realise that you are growing right now. Even if the activity is seemingly doing nothing, growth is happening.

 

Today could have been a bit of a disaster in terms of being unconscious. I was very reluctant to go to the gym because of the weather outside (ironic given the snow entry above) but my mum pushed me to go with my dad so that he could get a lift. Feeling like I literally "had to" go, I drove us both along the snowy roads and to the gym. When I got there, it slowly started dawning on me that growth was happening.

Looking at my body in the mirror, I could see how much bigger I was getting. At the beginning of this year, I weighed around 64kg. My target is to reach around 70-75kg. And my record so far is 68.25kg. My whole brain just went "YES!" This was the life I was living: a life of physical and spiritual growth. Never before have I been able to do continuous bicep curls with 12kg in each arm before. Being kinda skinny for a good part of my life ("kinda" meaning "skinny fat"), this has felt like quite the achievement.

Once I was conscious of how wonderful this life is, I felt compelled to put so much more effort in throughout the day. Although it was difficult, it felt more like a flow state than effort. I doubled my time on the treadmill at the gym, did 60 bicycle crunches, then when I got home I made a boss-ass salad, recorded three performance videos, completed a new composition, completed a re-run of one of the LPC steps, and now I'm here journaling. All of that productivity never felt rushed at any point which is amazing for me! Even now it still feels like an eternity away from bedtime in the next hour or two.

Safe to say that my subconscious mind was in a healthy state for the majority of today. Tomorrow, I need to prepare it in the same way to repeat what happened today.

 

Pick of the day: