Stuck In Self-inquiry

[123456789]

I can be aware of everything but myself, I can't find me and I am starting to get worried that I never will. I can intellectually understand that I am not the "I" thought since it is impermanent but I am permanent. Since I can't be aware of myself the only other option I can see is to literally "become" what I already am, but how?

[ajasatya]

@Mr Lenny the purpose of self-inquiry is to let your ignorance flow into your heart. surrender completely. this ego vulnerability, if done properly, is a breach through which Reality will flood your sense of being with Love. as maharshi himself said, it's not about getting an answer, it's about dissolving the questioner.

[Space]

By continuing to question what and who you are, and getting to a point where you truly realise that you don't know. Until then it's all just thought and mind games. 

[123456789]

@NTOgen And how to do that? being?

[WelcometoReality]

18 minutes ago, Mr Lenny said:

I can be aware of everything but myself, I can't find me and I am starting to get worried that I never will. I can intellectually understand that I am not the "I" thought since it is impermanent but I am permanent. Since I can't be aware of myself the only other option I can see is to literally "become" what I already am, but how?

These doubts are natural, they come and they go. Continue with the inquiry and the answer will come. 

[kurt]

28 minutes ago, Mr Lenny said:

I can be aware of everything but myself, I can't find me and I am starting to get worried that I never will. I can intellectually understand that I am not the "I" thought since it is impermanent but I am permanent. Since I can't be aware of myself the only other option I can see is to literally "become" what I already am, but how?

This is what Ive been discussing recently on another thread about samadhi.  You have picked up some silly beliefs from the spiritual community that you need to experience or become reality.  The fact is, you are awareness, its as clear as the day, you exist, because how can you know of anything if you didnt exist?  The inquiry is not finding who you are, its inquiring into what you are not.  If you can understand that the manifest world does not exist then what remains is you then you.  You are the light, conscious of your dream. The manifest world never existed, you only thought it did, it only APPEARS to exist.  If you can see how your experience simply cannot be true, then youre left with the realization that this is a dream, it never happened.

Edited December 12, 2016 by kurt

[Donald]

The sun shines light to the earth and the moon ,but never to itself. Contemplate with that ... 

Awareness is like that light.  It can be directed on objects , but not to itself 

[JustinS]

@Mr Lenny haha this is actually good. All you've got to do is just watch as things appear in the mind without control. The thought "I can't find myself is just another thought."

You can only be yourself and yet you are always yourself and never weren't a single moment. You are only just wanting to remember what you always were. 

From the perspective of a person or ego you are seeking to return to yourself. From the perspective of understanding, you as Consciousness are aware of the person that is attempting to return. 

Check out the post I recently posted it might help!

 

[Donald]

@JustinS Rupert Spira is one of the most clear and no bullshit dudes 

[ajasatya]

37 minutes ago, Donald said:

@JustinS Rupert Spira is one of the most clear and no bullshit dudes 

and somehow both of you look alike hahahaha!

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Mr Lenny said:

but how?

There CANNOT be a how!

That's why this work is so challenging.

How can there be a how for nothingness? All hows are somethingnesses!

The only way past this brick wall is persistence and finally surrender. You are the only thing standing in your own way, but you aren't ready to give yourself up quite yet.

[30secs]

On 12/13/2016 at 3:22 AM, Mr Lenny said:

Since I can't be aware of myself the only other option I can see is to literally "become" what I already am, but how?

Sometimes saying you can't be aware of yourself does not help you. You can, you already are,don't complicate it, be simply still, when you are still that stillness is aware of its own peace. The I Amness is simply peace.

[Aware]

@Mr Lenny

On 12 december 2016 at 8:22 PM, Mr Lenny said:

I can be aware of everything but myself, I can't find me and I am starting to get worried that I never will. I can intellectually understand that I am not the "I" thought since it is impermanent but I am permanent. Since I can't be aware of myself the only other option I can see is to literally "become" what I already am, but how?

 

Please listen to me carefully.

You are not somethingness, nor are you nothingness. Both views are related to nihilism and eternalism. Concluding that one is nothing because he is not something, is a wrong conclusion.

That which you are, is all pervasive Awareness. Which is not nothing, or something, a combination or a subtraction of something and nothing.

All pervasive awareness, is not bound to a single body or a single mind, but is all pervasive throughout all bodies and minds. And by this, there is behavior in accordance with all pervasive awareness, and behavior that is not. The behavior of good and bad deeds are not in accordance with Awareness, and are there for suffering due to their conditioned states.

The true good deeds, that are in accordance, are the deeds that arose from seclusion from wrong view, intention, act, speech, effort, livelihood, attention and concentration. Its a deed sprouted from the from the right view, that there is only Awareness, and there for there is polarity of good and evil with the root of it as being desire. 

Wrongful deeds, are deeds where one forgot about oneness due to his desires, and thinks there are others besides awareness and acts accordingly in believing so, which creates huge clouds everywhere, making it hard to realize the truth, to remember again what one is. There for let one seclude from wrong view, intention, act, speech, effort, livelihood, attention and concentration by focusing on how in essence you do not differ, but that due to forgetfulness of ones true nature one behaves badly. Stop the flood of bad information, alcohol, drugs, to much food and focus on the all pervasive you and receive knowledge accordingly.

Work hard, surely soon or later your view becomes perfect.