38 year old virgin. Suicidal. Depressed incel

[Yeah Yeah]

@Barbara This is like the Abraham Hicks teachings - to first move towards a desire, you must first feel good, you can't feel bad and move towards meeting a woman, the good feeling must come first and then move towards meeting the woman - Which is close to what you're saying here ... Except I've found this to be hard, especially if you're knees deep in a problem, feeling bad about it, and then you must first learn to feel good in order to finally get what it is that's been missing and making you feel bad to begin with - Making that flip can be frustrating - Not just that, but what you resist persists, and so are you meeting a woman out of desperation, or out of a good feeling place? 

Abraham Hicks teaching over the years frustrated me, and I'm still a virgin after 4 years, and its been a somewhat mind game, 

I'm just saying, haha, I think you're mirroring Abraham Hicks teaching for example, although that switch may be difficult if you're drowing in the problem,

On 23/09/2021 at 6:46 AM, Barbara said:

@Hello world Let's keep talking about this buddy. Finding a woman can in fact bring you love and happiness, you are right about that. But what I think you are missing is the fact that you already need to have love within you and be happy before encountering a woman.

And for you to find a woman you have to be in a healthy state of mind. All these beliefs you have about yourself tho, are deeply hurting you, keeping you away from that state. 

So I think that you should seek help in order to get better and heal from depression first and after that put the energy into attracting a beautiful woman to date. But you have to want to get better and healthy. 

I'm sure it feels solitary right now, but there are so many people who recover from depression and suicidal crises. I know you can do it too.

 

[flyingwhalee]

26 minutes ago, Yeah Yeah said:

@flyingwhalee

Understood, I love this forum because I can be honest and others are wise within this community of shared interest so as to share their points of view, too, so that I can then adapt with a clearer outlook, (I hated the reddit communities and the other spiritualist's don't have forums like this one except maybe a fan made Abraham Hicks or some social profiles available). 

Anyhow ... I somewhat relate to this man's feeling of being left out, and I'm sure it fluxuates where he feels bad one day, and then the next he knows why he's a virgin and there's perhaps a secret good intention behind why that might be - I know I have a secret good intention, perhaps, which is to protect myself as well as the freedom to be innocent and focus on myself almost whole heartedly, hence joing actualized.org or other communities of interest like hobbies I seek out to connect to, and it probably helps without a woman involved or potential children or marriage to the wrong person due to the woman's looks and not coming through it successfuly and eventual divorce,

I'm interested in Op's genuine reasons why he think he is a virgin, I'd be interested, 

Thanks,

Get you dude. I appreciate you faced the remark head on, and the simple fact you're reaching out here is excellent. I'll still emphase on how young you are and how much you can still accomplish, both in material success and your own psychology.

[Eternity]

@Hello worldand the 25 y.o. virgin if you are still here, and I hope you are, there is one way I discovered how to quickly lift out of a depression.  I think I got it from a Shakti Gwaine, a wonderful spiritual author.  I've been severely depressed before too and this works.  What you need is motivation.  All these suggestions here will be useful to you, but first the motivation must be there and this is how to get it:  pull out a piece of paper and a pencil; write down a positive statement about yourself (it doesn't have to be grand and noble, it could be I have nice hands or I am a loyal friend or I have a good smile), It really doesn't matter what but it must be something positive.  No negatives allowed.  Now write the first positive state over and over approx. 6 to 10 times.  Next think of another positive thing about yourself, again, NO negatives, just focus of whatever little thing is positive about yourself.  And again write the same positive statement 6 to 10 times.  Once you get going you will begin to see yourself in another light.  Keep doing this until you have both sides of your paper filled up and maybe even another page.  As you do it, you will find more worthwhile things about yourself than you ever realized.  And when your fingers are too tired to write anymore, then you can stop and resume it again later. But I promise you this will energize you and change your outlook on the world and yourself from glum to full of possibilities.  Think back to when you were a child and what you dreamed of always doing.  Then start taking steps to get there. "A journey of 1000 miles always starts with just one step."  It only takes motivation and passion for something to make your world a possibility filled place.  Repeat this exercise whenever you start to feel unmotivated again.   I wish you would post to say you are okay.  We here do care about you.

[Blackhawk]

@Hello world I'm sorry about your (and mine, I'm a incel too) pain.

Life/reality is ruthlessly brutal.

Edited September 25, 2021 by Blackhawk

[Waken]

Well, you can always see the situation as an opportunity to release all your concerns about what everyone thinks of you. Something valuable I once heard is that when you remain in a positive state, you can get always get a/the benefit from a situation you don't prefer. If you stay in a negative state, you might only be able to perceive a negative impact from it. So why not choose to use it for your benefit. Changing/transforming how you relate to something often gives you a much better change in the quality of your life than getting what you think you want. If you want love, become love. Love yourself more for the parts of you that so yearn it. Be kind with yourself. Find better feeling thoughts than the ones you currently hold. Release the fears behind the statements you gave. You can come to experience life so much more precious than anything the world could possibly ever give you. You can start choosing to care less for the situation you're in, and more for the way you're choosing to experience the situations. The key in life is not in what you can get, but in what you can become. Choose and express thoughts that feel better, even if only a little better. Come into alignment with what resonates with you. I'd say you can turn yourself into a well of love and joy. Just takes practice.

Edited September 25, 2021 by Waken

[Max8]

I can totally relate to that 
the best advice I can give you is 

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, DO NOT PLAY THE VICTIM!

you need to grab a pen and a notebook and sit down to do a deep reflection with yourself to know exactly what you must do to turn this around.


you don't have to watch videos or read books or listen to others telling this and that in fact, that is procrastination and I have fallen into this trap for years and got zero results from doing mental masturbation. 

make the way to go about solving them very simple because your problems are simple (that doesn't mean it's gonna be easy ) and no one knows how to solve this better than you because you experienced them.

[Barbara]

@Yeah Yeah Ahah yea, don't really follow Abraham Hickes’ teachings tho, can't say much about it. Btw, you are so young, man. I bet that there are so many people in your position. Don't drown yourself into feelings of inadequacy.

What are you doing regarding your self-esteem? I believe it could be a key thing for you to cultivate and grow  warm regards and good luck to you.

@Hello world How are you feeling? 

[LordFall]

@Hello world Message me if you really want help, I'll save you.

[Hello world]

Days got much worse the past days and I attempted suicide yesterday.

Thanks @Raze @Huz

@Flint @kamwalker @Matt23 @Jacob Morres @PepperBlossoms @Yeah Yeah @kelli

[Hello world]

Thanks @flyingwhalee @Eternity @Blackhawk @Waken @Max8 @Barbara I failed to kill myself. I am significantly worse. I am not going to make it

[LordFall]

6 minutes ago, Hello world said:

Thanks @flyingwhalee @Eternity @Blackhawk @Waken @Max8 @Barbara I failed to kill myself. I am significantly worse. I am not going to make it

Hey brother, do you wanna talk? Let's hop on a call, I'll talk to you anytime. 

[Waken]

@Hello world I'm very sorry to hear that man.  This physical life on earth can be hard on lots of us and very hard on some.. The whole world is a very messy place right now, lots of people who end up in very bad feeling places at this point. I know you must be feeling deep pain. I don't know what to tell you except to express that I know there is nothing wrong with you and that I feel love for you, whatever you decide to do ❤️

Edited September 27, 2021 by Waken

[Max8]

@Hello world

you need serious help, texting hardly help newbies with self-help let alone curing serious depression 

go to clinical psychologist 

or easily find them online with simple research 

 

[Liloti]

Depression and PTSD are situations in which everyone can fine his or her self. The only thing I always like to say is that at any moment of life one must me open with other people. Suicidal intentions can be the only option just when you feel Boone around you can understand you. Today ketamine, mushrooms and advices are solutions we use on où depressed patients. And I will really say it works at 95% of cases

[Liloti]

@Hello world Do you feel like you need someone to whom you can talk?

[Liloti]

@flyingwhalee I'd like u to think about something that came please you just for an Hour. 

Edited September 27, 2021 by Liloti

[Federico del pueblo]

@Hello world

It's sad to read that (your suicide attempt).

I would urge you to seek help immediately and call some hotline or any professional when you are in a situation like this (when you feel like you want to kill yourself).

I also want to encourage you to not give up. It's worth it. When you're at this rock bottom level everything seems pointless, but it is possible to rise again.

Think about what kind of an amazing story you'll be able to tell if you make it out of this and become a healthy person that can enjoy life. You'll then be very proud of yourself for not having given up.

Also think about the people who are close to you, who would have to live with the loss of you.

[Blackhawk]

@Hello world So have you even tried professional help?

The society really doesn't want you to committ suicide. You can try to take advantage of that. Interesting things happen as soon as you tell them that you're suicidal. If you just call 911 they'll break your door and take you to hospital.

For example they gave me a woman who I could meet once a week. I could choose that they would give me a woman who I would meet once a week. She was working voluntarily. Of course it wasn't sexual and it didn't lead to anything with her but still, I could be social and do things with a woman. Normal stuff like go out on walks, cinema, go to coffeehouse, hang out at my place, etc.

Edited September 27, 2021 by Blackhawk

[Max8]

@Liloti

what is this ?

[Javfly33]

@Blackhawk woaaah. Was she more or less attractive? During how much do they offer you this? Where do you live?

In my case the police didn't care about the drugs I was carrying, they asked for an ambulance to take me to the hospital and talk with a therapist. And they were super kind. Yeah its funny this society with suicide, uh? We don't care about living in shit in shitty jobs, stressful lives, etc, but nobody suicide!! Lol