38 year old virgin. Suicidal. Depressed incel

[Hello world]

@flowboy thanks for the video. I am watching it now. It’s not fair. I did try 

@Barbara it pains me to get to this point and to have to call a suicide hotline. I don’t believe I matter because someone would love me if I did. The pain is so bad. I hate myself

@TripleFly @Seed thanks for the encouragement.

 

[Leo Gura]

6 hours ago, Hello world said:

 

@Leo Gura Thanks for the plan Leo and for the advice. We are close to the same age. It feels impossible but you said it’s doable for me. I will follow the baby steps.

38 is not that old. You still have so much time to build a great life.

When you're 60 you will realize how foolish you were for thinking 38 was too old.

Quote

 I want to be loved by someone

I understand exactly what you mean, but the deeper truth is that what you really want is to love yourself. You want to discover the fundamental Love at the core of your own being.

The worst part with identify yourself in Incels is not that women don't love you, it's that you don't love yourself -- and THAT is why women tend to not love you. Women LOVE men who LOVE themselves!

Quote

Does everyone think I am a loser being at the point I am now?

You're an uncut diamond.

Quote

Not all incels are bad

Nobody is ever bad.

Only Good exists.

Your opportunity here is not just to get laid or to get a girl to love you. Your opportunity here is to realize the infinite well of Love that resides within your own spirit. Begin the spiritual work to truly heal yourself. It's doable, you're not too late for that, it requires no money and it requires no car. As you make yourself whole you will attract quality people into your life with little effort. But you will also not need them.

[Seed]

11 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

38 is not that old. You still have so much time to build a great life.

When you're 60 you will realize how foolish you were for thinking 38 was too old.

I understand exactly what you mean, but the deeper truth is that what you really want is to love yourself. You want to discover the fundamental Love at the core of your own being.

The worst part with identify yourself in Incels is not that women don't love you, it's that you don't love yourself -- and THAT is why women tend to not love you. Women LOVE men who LOVE themselves!

You're an uncut diamond.

Nobody is ever bad.

Only Good exists.

Your opportunity here is not just to get laid or to get a girl to love you. Your opportunity here is to realize the infinite well of Love that resides within your own spirit. Begin the spiritual work to truly heal yourself. It's doable, you're not too late for that, it requires no money and it requires no car. As you make yourself whole you will attract quality people into your life with little effort. But you will also not need them.

Spot on!!!! You are absolutely and uncut diamond. I can feel it already. 

[Hello world]

@Leo GuraThanks so much Leo and @Seed I am grateful. I don’t believe I will make it that far and reach 60. I think I will commit suicide much earlier because of the pain. The spirituality is probably too advanced for me when I can’t get the basics right

[nistake]

@Hello world Do you think you can handle 5 minutes of meditation/day?

[Raze]

try the ultramind solution, or water fasting

read the power of now

stop referring to yourself as an incel or being obsessed with getting love, that doesn't lead to happiness.

[TripleFly]

16 minutes ago, Raze said:

try the ultramind solution, or water fasting

read the power of now

stop referring to yourself as an incel or being obsessed with getting love, that doesn't lead to happiness.

QUICK FIXES!!! 

If this doesn't work or it's too hard- do a juice fast. For me and for my friends even just 1 simple week of juice fasting and BOOM you get it.

It will require a lil more work than that if you say you're 'spritually disconnected', but a juice fast, or any fast, will lead to very quick results. You'll feel it, and then you'll know it. 

Then you'll understand a little bit more about what's Leo talking about.

[Huz]

On 21/09/2021 at 10:30 PM, Hello world said:

I read a previous post here about being a 25 year old virgin and could relate and thought I’d share my own story. I am a 38 year old virgin living alone on government handouts with no friends. I have never never kissed a girl or held hands with one. I am suicidal and have been battling an endless battle with depression that I am about to lose. Before you say this is fake know that this is true and I am NOT lying. This is my life. People like me exist. Person who posted about being a 25 year old virgin I am sorry and hope you do not get to this point. Live your live and succeed friend. I am poor with very little savings that I get from the government. I have been unemployed for more than a decade. My apartment is a mess and I eat pasta or microwave or canned meals for food. I have ruined my life and am an incel. Not every incel is bad. I am a loving person but lack love and hate my life. Every one when they reach my age is married has a stable life with some money and friends and has sex with many people multiple times and are happy. I want to be in a relationship. I am not happy.  Nobody loves me. Nobody cares. I want to feel a woman’s touch and her body and be loved by one. I am going to lose this battle and people like me end up killing themselves. I am a loser and a 38 year old virgin who is suicidal.

Your not a loser. I love you. I wanna give you a hug. Everything is alright man. You are beautiful. I want you to know you are loved exactly as you are. How can you not be beautiful, realise that. Stop comparing to other Qualia. The only reason you feel this way is because you belive you need to be a certain way and do things to feel normal in society. And yes it is important to meet you needs. But before you embark on that journey, realise that you are soo sooo soo amazing xxx

[Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj]

<3

[Bob Seeker]

Think about making that tiny improvement and getting it to stick, and then another tiny improvement. Focus on today and what you need to do to lift yourself that one inch. Make that commitment to yourself, that you are going to trust this, no matter what it brings.

your task is not to make it to 60. Your task is to make those little improvements, and just keep your eye on that. Just do that simply because that is the duty you have given yourself.

Edited September 23, 2021 by Bob Seeker

[kamwalker]

The only thing that matters is the moment you are in right now. As you are reading this post. Don't think about the things you think you need to do to get to a certain place or time. In this moment feel however you need to feel and once you work through those feelings the answers about what to do next will start to become obvious. Making projections about who you are or what your future is a fruitless endeavor. Don't get caught up in that. 

Edited September 23, 2021 by kamwalker

[Flint]

@Hello world

You have a bigger issue on your hands than women.

First, try to choose a career path and spend 1 or 2 years developing real hard skills you can use to land a job.

Once you have more revenue, you can stop eating random garbage, clean out your appartment, and start to socialize. In one year of doing very intense game, which is not easier to combine with a full time job considering home working policies, you can sleep with plenty of women.

You need to work and build every area of your life from scratch and your life can exponentially improve.

So :

1. Be strategic about getting a comfortable job with a homeworking policy and earn some money.
2. Use the money for therapy sessions twice a week to start working on yourself. You will need the support.
3. Start a light jogging habbit and clean up your diet.
4. Start a meditation habit
5. Start a reading habit.
6. Start massively socializing and going out
7. Once you have a baseline in terms of development then do some psychedelics to deeply heal yourself and skyrocket yourself.

 

Then you won't need advice anymore since you will be able to set your own path and do great in life.

 

[Matt23]

Sending love your way, along with all the well-wishing and heart warming possible.  

 

[PepperBlossoms]

  Reach your Goals.

 

Edited September 23, 2021 by PepperBlossoms

[kelli]

Hello Sweet Friend! I totally understand that you are in a very dark place right now, and it's beautiful to see all the support here for a man who claims to be unlovable!  You may be wrong...   Louise Hay was such a loving person and her voice so soothing. If you do nothing else today, please listen to Louise over and over and over. It's like a loving grandmother wrapping you in a warm hug! Please listen until some little bits start to seep into your soul. I think you are on this page reaching out for help because your life is meant to be used for big things and this is the group to walk beside you on your journey. xoxo  

[Jacob Morres]

happy to see the support and not attacking for once  

Edited September 25, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[Yeah Yeah]

No way, I think I'd contemplate killing myself, too, if I'm a virgin by your age (personally, I'd feel just the same myself), I'm a 25 year old virgin and so far I've experienced Hell and almost daily misery, I now live on Mum's sofa,

I laugh at my predicament (typically laugh cry daily for the past year and a half or more), and to believe things will get better isn't living in the present moment - Life is a giant mind fuck from what I can gather, sure, at this moment you may feel miserable, and then tomorrow everything may make sense and you'll feel great, perhaps after a meal, or finding out there's a new Spiderman film trailer, or the release of a favourite video game remastered ... but deep down there's a sensation as if everything is wrong, as if everything is pure chaos and there's no amending it and the only possible answer is to die - and now you realize that to finally die you must wait, slowly, gradually, and until then you will resist, and you will go into death with a build up of depression, regrets and continually questioning suicide, 

Sorry, I'm 100% a nihilist at this point, and I'm a 25 year old virgin, I've lost heaps, gone through betrayal, and now I'm a fish caught between two rocks flapping away ready to kill myself - I mean why pretend to go on if you're eager to die, because I'll mess up the whole social game,

 

EDIT - Ignore my nihilist advice, Leo makes more support than myself, and some other replies ... But could you respond to myself if you're still alive as to why you're a virgin from your point of view? Maybe I'll relate, thanks - And be completely honest with me why you think you are a virgin, thanks

Edited September 25, 2021 by Yeah Yeah

[flyingwhalee]

 

On 9/23/2021 at 10:00 AM, Hello world said:

@Leo GuraThanks so much Leo and @Seed I am grateful. I don’t believe I will make it that far and reach 60. I think I will commit suicide much earlier because of the pain. The spirituality is probably too advanced for me when I can’t get the basics right

It is NOT. You see yourself on the brink of suicide right now, and you can turn that in your advantage actually. Eckhart Tolle said in his book that he was in a quite similar situation at one point of his life, casually contemplating suicide at 29, constantly filled with self-hatred. It's said that one night it was so unbearable, he basically awoke. I'm not saying that's what will happen to you, but that your pain can actually be a great catalyser. Sometimes, doing effective spiritual work is actually harder when life is too comfortable. 

 

Also, you can begin by stop identifying as an incel, or a loser. You're so much more than that, you wouldn't even believe.

Baby steps man. It's about regaining sovereignty over your own life, first and foremost. Don't underestimate how much progress you can do in a single year if you start now. And you would only be 39. Let alone a project on 5-10 years. And you would still be young.

[flyingwhalee]

@Yeah Yeah My previous comment applies to you too. You're even younger. But you're so full of beliefs man. You're right when you say it's a mind game, except you're 100% playing the game of your mind. You have a toxic worldview to deconstruct. It's absolutely not to sound patronizing or whatever. Just recognize within yourself those beliefs are built on nothing except fear 

Edited September 25, 2021 by flyingwhalee

[Yeah Yeah]

32 minutes ago, flyingwhalee said:

@Yeah Yeah It's absolutely not to sound patronizing or whatever. Just recognize within yourself those beliefs are built on nothing except fear 

@flyingwhalee

Understood, I love this forum because I can be honest and others are wise within this community of shared interest so as to share their points of view, too, so that I can then adapt with a clearer outlook, (I hated the reddit communities and the other spiritualist's don't have forums like this one except maybe a fan made Abraham Hicks or some social profiles available). 

Anyhow ... I somewhat relate to this man's feeling of being left out, and I'm sure it fluxuates where he feels bad one day, and then the next he knows why he's a virgin and there's perhaps a secret good intention behind why that might be - I know I have a secret good intention, perhaps, which is to protect myself as well as the freedom to be innocent and focus on myself almost whole heartedly, hence joing actualized.org or other communities of interest like hobbies I seek out to connect to, and it probably helps without a woman involved or potential children or marriage to the wrong person due to the woman's looks and not coming through it successfuly and eventual divorce,

I'm interested in Op's genuine reasons why he think he is a virgin, I'd be interested, 

Thanks,

Edited September 25, 2021 by Yeah Yeah