38 year old virgin. Suicidal. Depressed incel

[Hello world]

@Florian @bobbyward I cannot afford escorts or the gym. I am falling. This feels impossible 

[bejapuskas]

@Hello world  What seems possible? What's the closest perceivable goal?

[Zeroguy]

3 hours ago, Hello world said:

@Zeroguy @Emotionalmosquito thanks for caring. I cannot access MDMA or ketamine. I cannot afford it anyway

I overcome them. Into other stuff now. I can afford. 

Edited October 2, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Flim]

I believe in you, man. What you need to focus on is loving YOURSELF, then good things will come to you when you least expect it. To begin your journey of self-love you should...

Step 1: Get a job, apply anywhere. This will get you out of your comfort zone, which is the only way you can really get into a new headspace to make changes in your life. You will also meet new people.

Step 2: Research healthy food recipes, go to the grocery store, buy the ingredients then take time to learn how to cook them. Put your favorite music on in the background to get you more motivated. Healthy food=healthy mind. 

Step 3: Go jogging. At a nearby park, neighborhood, anywhere. Sweat it all out. This will make you feel good and it's another way to get you out of your comfort zone which will lead to a clearer mind.

Step 4: Take time out of your day to meditate. Start with 5-10 minutes if you're not used to it, then go up from there. 

You say you don't have a lot of money, but you can implement all of these steps. As someone else on the thread said, get MILITANT about it. It will pay off. This is just the starting point of your self-love journey. I'm on a journey of self-love myself having just recently (just over a month ago) been dumped by my first ever girlfriend of four years. I'm almost 26 and have only fully acknowledged now that I do not love myself and have depended on another person to provide me with that love for all those years. This is a mistake. How can you expect to love someone properly when you don't even love yourself? This is what lead to my partner breaking up with me. You say you want to be loved by someone, but YOU can give yourself ALL the love you need. It's not an easy journey, but you are perfectly capable of doing it. We all are, no matter how shit our lives seem. And when you love yourself enough to not depend on the validation of another person, that is when a partnership can be the most beautiful thing you will ever experience in life. 

I believe in you. I believe in you.

Edited October 3, 2021 by Flim

[Florian]

@Hello world What do you mean you can't afford the gym?

[Emotionalmosquito]

@Florian he’s on government benefits and barely has enough for rent and food. He also doesn’t have enough for mind healing drugs so sounds like he’s broke as shit

[Applegarden8]

@Hello world Do you acctualy want to implement the advice provided here? Do you want to improve your life? Do you want to feel good about yourself? Just think about it, again, again and again. Just continiously ask yourself these questions. What is your life worth to you, choice being the only currency?

[Hello world]

@bejapuskas Nothing seems possible because I have lost all hope. The closest perceivable goal is to stop being an incel and find a women and stop living in poverty and stop being isolated and suicidal. I have no social or female contact and am a 38 year old kiss less virgin

@Flim @Applegarden8 thanks for caring friends. I don’t believe in me

@Florian I am living in poverty and cannot afford a gym membership

Thanks so much for caring friends. God bless

Edited October 4, 2021 by Hello world

[Florian]

@Hello world Before you kill yourself go steal some money to go to the gym. Better then killing yourself.

[Tudo]

7 minutes ago, Florian said:

@Hello world Before you kill yourself go steal some money to go to the gym. Better then killing yourself.

 lol

Edited October 4, 2021 by Tudo

[bejapuskas]

@Hello world  That does not sound like nothing at all

[Florian]

@Hello world Still alive?

[CameronsExploring]

On 9/23/2021 at 9:00 AM, Hello world said:

@Leo GuraThanks so much Leo and @Seed I am grateful. I don’t believe I will make it that far and reach 60. I think I will commit suicide much earlier because of the pain. The spirituality is probably too advanced for me when I can’t get the basics right

Im not very advanced with spirituality either, but I have a video of Leo's I would recommend if you want to start somewhere with self-love and healing. Its helped me to heal pain and I strongly recommend doing the guided exercise 8 minutes in. It might be hard starting the exercise but please give it patience.

Hope this helps.

 

[lmfao]

@Hello world Feel for you hard. I'm close to wanting to and flirt with killing myself as well. Anytime I got close to wanting to go through, after dwelling in anguish, I explode into rage or mania instead. I'm too prideful and spiteful to kill myself. 

I'm much younger than you and already feel very similar, so I can only imagine the load you've carried. Jesus didn't have it this hard. The only thing being better than his third eye is the platoon of whores over the horizon, wherever he went 

 

Pride and shame are two sides of the same coin in a manner I don't understand at all 

---

I'm extremely contemptuous and arrogant, spiteful of others. Insecurity harvesting myself. Issues socialising and depression from that. 

Angry when I'm not getting attention 

 

What Leo and everyone else said is a passing thread to feel 

For me, I am extremely impatient and unable to be even-tempered to go through with plans. And that's the place I have to start. 

It's just so hard to not be impatient at this point, and I have no guarantee of success given my starvation and mismatch with society/people. 

 

A little more effort, I can manage that much after enduring. A little more dabbling in trying to "heal" or be healthy.

If doesn't work, I'm grabbing the gun and just ending it. Ended up here due to trying to halt and oppose the imposed autolysis of my balls, a large collection of humiliations and violations forming spite 

Women do not get it, they live another Alice in borderland. The speech that leaves their tongues is hollow, precisely for the purpose of affirming and repeating lies they were sold. It often hides under labels like "self reflection" or "deep talk" 

Don't demand from me an equal reprimand of men, 1) no obligation, 2) I have nothing to say 

Edited October 12, 2021 by lmfao

[PepperBlossoms]

@lmfao I'm sorry about your struggles.  I suggest therapist and mushrooms.

You are able to see past the social game that so many people fall trap to.  But at the same time, the social game appears to still be making you angry so you have not fully escaped the game.  It is just a game and there are many games that one can play in life.  Many games to focus on.  

Yes the game can impact survival as we rely on humans so much for things like money and work.

Look at your strengths - you have awareness that some will probably never get and can't see.  Build on that but also work on and question the anger.  Maybe try to understand people better.  Find beauty.  Life may feel bad now but it doesn't have to stay this way - every moment is impermeant and so is the desire to kill oneself - that too is temporary.

[Breakingthewall]

@Hello world your life is totally blocked and things are getting really difficult. you must do something. I would start with a weekly psychedelic therapy, specifically mushrooms. It can be very hard but you have to get out of that hole, face what is blocking you. what other options do you have?

[khalifa]

https://youtu.be/k5RH3BdXDOY

 

chill dude you got this

Edited October 14, 2021 by khalifa

[Hello world]

@CameronsExploring @lmfao @PepperBlossoms @Breakingthewall @khalifa

Thanks so much friends. @lmfao @Yeah Yeahfeel for you, don’t get to my point. You have a life to live. 

I have come to the point of ending my life again after my attempt. Life is impossible and excruciatingly painful. I need to be free of this misery so I have come to this decision. Maybe in the next life I won’t be one. I am a suicidal 38 year old incel. I wanted a woman to love me. Everyone my age is married with a happy family. I am isolated in poverty. I failed at personal development. I failed at saving myself. I want to kill myself. My never ending struggle. Death is imaginary after all. I needed to end my pain. Appreciate every one of you who replied. I am sorry for letting you all down.

[Raze]

5 hours ago, Hello world said:

@CameronsExploring @lmfao @PepperBlossoms @Breakingthewall @khalifa

Thanks so much friends. @lmfao @Yeah Yeahfeel for you, don’t get to my point. You have a life to live. 

I have come to the point of ending my life again after my attempt. Life is impossible and excruciatingly painful. I need to be free of this misery so I have come to this decision. Maybe in the next life I won’t be one. I am a suicidal 38 year old incel. I wanted a woman to love me. Everyone my age is married with a happy family. I am isolated in poverty. I failed at personal development. I failed at saving myself. I want to kill myself. My never ending struggle. Death is imaginary after all. I needed to end my pain. Appreciate every one of you who replied. I am sorry for letting you all down.

try calling a local suicide hotline first

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbQr70rfwQg

 

Edited October 14, 2021 by Raze

[lmfao]

@PepperBlossoms Thank you. Shrooms actually crossed my mind recently

Quote

I can’t afford to buy a car to drive with Uber or go to an escort. I’m not able to afford it

Idk how to get an escort either, but it can't be that hard and I'm sure you can get it if you wanted to. It's just a matter if you think it's worth trying or you have the motivation



After reading what @Tudo wrote I honestly feel like prostitutes aren't so bad. I'm open to it, doesn't mean I will do it. But I would invite you to consider it 

Alright so I'm apprehensive about it as well. Like there are a few reasons you can think of. You want the sex to be due to someone valuing you and them wanting to bond with you. You want it to be something you earned or was special. These are completely legitimate sentiments I empathise with

But start from scratch. What's the difference between doing it with an escort or someone else?
Why in the first place do you subtract value from the experience you have with a prostitute?