Why do we feel jealousy? How does one overcome it?

[Kshantivadin]

I still can't understand this. I don't consider myself a jealous person in general, but I do notice seldom occasions where I do in fact experience such feelings. Where do they come from? It pokes my eyes how incredibly narrow and constricting the feeling is. It gets in the way, or the texture is as such. I notice the exact moment it cuts the blood flow of the love I feel towards a person.

The jealousy doesn't depend on the depth of intimacy - I experience it towards complete strangers as well.

But why?

It's also incredibly biased and hypocritical - I feel a pang from something that a person does, for example, but me doing the exact same thing is absolutely not a problem and shouldn't evoke feelings of jealousy whatsoever.

At least I've overcome most of it - but it still lingers. Why?

Thanks for your input.

[Chew211]

It's "normal". 

To abstract the idea if jelousy in psychoanalytic terms, you assume the other has your object of desire (whatever it might be, material or otherwise), and has access to an enjoyment that is cut off from you. The other is the subject presumed to enjoy. 

Now the thing it doesn't matter if the person your jealous of has the object of desire or not, you just assume they do. 

Getting over jelousy is to realize that no one has the object of desire, because by definition, once you attain it, it no longer is the object of desire. 

Use your emotions to fuel your growth. 

[Nahm]

Notice when you’re thinking ‘am I a jealous person’ that the one aware of the thought and the one the thought seems to be about - are actually already the very same one. Thus there are not jealous people and not-jealous people. It’s not identity, it’s an emotion experienced. As a creator, this is guidance, and lets you know about something you want to manifest. How nice is it that there are billions of helpers of clarity for your creating? Luxurious really. Unthinkably awesome. 

‘It’ will indeed linger until it is no longer believed that it is identity. It is experienced. Like a tree, or an ice cream sandwich. 

[Kshantivadin]

@Nahm  Thank you!

I used the "jealous person" for a lack of better words to describe that the "myself" experiences feelings of jealousy so much less than the people I know.

There is definitely identifying with the emotions - jealousy, in this case, is interpreted as a lower emotion, something that should be overcome, that an advanced/conscious person shouldn't even be experiencing (what I'm striving towards).

 

[Nahm]

@Kshantivadin

Right on. There’s always that ‘language issue’ lol. Might be what you’re saying here, not sure, but I’d let the ‘higher & lower’ of emotions go. Jealousy is one of the greatest tools available. It’s very usable when employed, or maybe explored is a better word,  to reveal more & more specifically what one prefers to create. 

[Kshantivadin]

@Nahm Do you have a way/method/guidance for such explorations?

[SamC]

It's the love that you think denied you, but that you denied yourself - in yourself.

 

Edited September 20, 2021 by SamC

[Nahm]

@Kshantivadin

The Emotional Scale is the best tool I’ve found. Basically, you look at the emotion you’re experiencing on the scale, and then express that, and then express the next ‘higher’ emotion, and so on up the scale, feeling the subtle relief of ‘getting it out’ / expressing it, as you go. ‘Pro tips’ lol, don’t skip over an emotion, don’t hurry, and don’t stop without finishing / going all the way to the top. 

Might take some time to experience initially, then it gets to where it takes minute to move from the experience of one emotion to the top, then after a while (though you could always come back to it) it just ‘clicks’ and becomes natural or automated or ‘just happens’. 

[Kshantivadin]

thank you so much

[Kshantivadin]

@SamC I definitely do have unsatisfied love needs, which projects onto the other person. Dunno yet how to get around that.

[SamC]

12 minutes ago, Kshantivadin said:

@SamC I definitely do have unsatisfied love needs, which projects onto the other person. Dunno yet how to get around that.

My best advice is to introspect in the different parts of your psyche and how you can learn the parts to work together.

[Matthew85]

@Kshantivadin At the root of jealousy is fear of not having or losing something. When you eventually see this is an illusion, the jealousies will fall away.