In The Path Of Self-actualizing, As I Learn And Grow, I Found Less And Less People So I Can Resonate With.

[Elahe]

In the path of self-actualizing, as I learn and grow, I found less and less people so I can resonate with. I do not enjoy my friends and family accompany as I used to. I see the previous version of myself in them. I respect them and accept them as they are but we do not share a deep bound anymore. Although I enjoy my loneliness, I also feel the need of having someone beside me who understand me and enjoy the same things as I do so we could have deep conversation and grow together. My concern is in long term, there will be less and less people to resonate with, because I am not going to stop growing!

[Frogfucius]

@Elahe This is just a phase. Trust me. You'll grow out of it, and then maybe resonate with people more than you ever have before. You'll also be able to let go easier.

Edited December 11, 2016 by Frogfucius

[The Monk]

@Elahe Don't worry, this happens to many of the people trying to grow and self-Actualise.  Just try and go out and socialise with more people and go to more events, such as a local Toastmasters, or a socialising club.  The population of Earth is 7 billion people, if you haven't met at least 100,000 people and tried to see if their aims and objectives resonate with you, there is no real need to get worried. 

As, for your family you could potentially try to also get them into actualised work in order to develop a more healthy family relationship.

 

Chill out and enjoy life! 

[Leo Gura]

@Elahe Hence hippies like to congregate together.

Go to some hippy gatherings like Burning Man or some Vipassana retreats and make new friends.

Maybe even consider moving to a hippy city like Ashland Oregon or Austin Texas.

[Elahe]

8 hours ago, Frogfucius said:

@Elahe

 

Thank you guys for your responses .

@Leo Gura Do you agree this is just a phase and I may grow out of it. It has been more than a year that I feel like this and it does not get any better.

[ajasatya]

@Elahe feel free to throw yourself into new groups of people. personally, i like kundalini yoga practitioners because they're super healthy. in the USA there's this big event called Sat Nam Festival, for instance.

[Leo Gura]

@Elahe Yes it's probably a phase, but you might also need to reach out and find some companions.

Don't get so involved with self-improvement that you forget to reach out and make new friends (if you're into that sorta thing).

Construct the kind of life you want. Be proactive. You don't have to live in a cave.

[Arman]

Yeah these things occur. Sometimes also I have noticed during my growth, especially during phases where there is long integration or release of fairly 'deep seated' stuff, there can be periods where emotional connection and the energy to be social dissipate. Kind of like I've just felt severed from people or something. Not in a particularly depressing or negative way, just that I noticed that the heart felt feeling and sense of connection had dimmed. 

Also periods where I felt like I'd have to abandon all my social connections because I felt as though they were holding me back and that I'd need to start anew.

Then the pendulum swings the other way, and I feel like maybe as a result of an energetic shift or something, suddenly I naturally gravitate towards my old friends again and have a great time. Really revitalizing and with newfound appreciation. Then also, some people I decide I just don't want to connect with because I don't want to get into bad habits or as you said, be drawn back into my old self. So there's some of that, too. 

So I think you really needn't worry. You haven't stopped resonating with people because you've outgrown them. Growing and integration doesn't negate the old, it encompasses it. You'll only be able to resonate with greater compassion in time.

11 hours ago, Elahe said:

My concern is in long term, there will be less and less people to resonate with, because I am not going to stop growing!

Worry not. You'll meet lots of cool new people who you'll appreciate and who will greatly appreciate you. 

Edited December 12, 2016 by Arman

[jse]

I'm also going though this phase, and often have similar concerns, Elahe.  True, life phases come and go, but this particular epoch in my life appears to be persistent.  When it comes to meeting like-minded souls, sometimes it feels like I'm stuck in a tar pit in the middle of the Sahara desert...

I guess that's another good reason to hang around this community.  There's bound to be that one in 100 resonating soul lurking somewhere in the background here.

[ajasatya]

this is why the buddhas emphasize the third jewel: the sangha.

the first jewel is the buddha, which means your very own potential for complete enlightenment.
the second jewel is the dharma, which is another word for the truth about what you really are.
then, the third jewel is the sangha, which is the community of practitioners, so you don't fall back into the old patterns ruled by ignorance.

you need to learn how to get along truth seekers in real life. this forum is just a tool. do whatever it takes and be serious about your own life and true happiness.

Edited December 13, 2016 by ajasatya

[AlwaysBeNice]

Preference is not a phase, worrying about it and disliking situations you find yourself in with people are. 

[Elahe]

I really appreciate your comments. Just to clear one thing, I did not lucked myself in a cave (although I am not a very social person neither), I just do not enjoy their accompany as I used to.

It does not feel good when you see so much potential in people that they are not aware of it, and do not want to be aware of it, and  have no hope in it.  It reaches to the point some times that I prefer not to see them often or hear about them. It is not easy to see them not using their full ( at least a part of their) potential.

 You are right I should start making new friends. I liked Sat Nam Festival (thank you @ajasatya ). I would prefer  to attend alcohol and drug free events. I am not very good at making new friends. It needs practice like everything else, I guess!

[Arman]

8 minutes ago, Elahe said:

It does not feel good when you see so much potential in people that they are not aware of it, and do not want to be aware of it, and  have no hope in it.  It reaches to the point some times that I prefer not to see them often or hear about them. It is not easy to see them not using their full ( at least a part of their) potential.

It is lovely that you empathize in this way. 

Consider the beauty of plants. Not all plants can be flowers, and not all flowers can be roses, but still they are equally beautiful. Maybe they are not fulfilling their potential to your eyes or your experience, but who is to say they should be anything other than what they are? Maybe they have chosen to be that way? Maybe there's another level at which your potential and their potential are equally fulfilled? 

do you feel sorry for this plant because it doesn't bloom flowers? would you avoid it because of this? Best to just shine light equally among everything 

 

 

[Elahe]

@Arman I am afraid I have a quite different opinion.   I do not feel sorry for this plant because it doesn't bloom flowers. I would not avoid it at all. I love it the way it is. That is the only option it has. But that is not the case for humans. We are all machines. If we are willing to do the HARD work and understand how this machine works, I think there is no limit to human potential.

Your example reminded me the Leo’s (@Leo Gura) video about “judgement”. I watched it another time and I think I have been judgmental that is why I do not enjoy everyone accompany.