The Inner Child

[Gianna]

 
Chapter One 

Did you know that your Inner Child is actually just your emotional body? It holds the pain, abuses, heartaches, and suffering you undergo throughout life so you don't have to. It holds the Darkness of Life. All of this is held for you by your Inner Child so you can carry on with becoming a person. How else are you supposed to survive psychological turmoil?


Well, at some point this turmoil bursts open. Once you meet the Light of Life it shines itself onto the darkness holding your pain. It shines itself onto your Inner Child. You meet yourself in Truth for the first time. Mine appeared as myself as a little girl. But before this little girl appeared to me it was just Pure Light. After all, it is Light that gives rise to Darkness in the first place. It was just me and the explosion of Oblivion when it all happened. It would be more accurate to say it was just the explosion of Oblivion, and the Pure Light that it left. Absolute Truth bursted itself all around me, from the inside out. I felt myself die while simultaneously being born– a waking up from a dream into a grander dream. I met a sentient void along the way. And when I say along the way I mean it lasted for a nanosecond throughout eternity. This void disguised itself as everything, as space, as Imagination. I realized that we are birthed into imagination from our own imagination; that we are birthed from ourselves to ourselves. The little girl appeared in the virginity of this space– "a space so empty, but with great fullness."

What was once the carrier of Darkness– the Inner Child– was now an illuminating angel. She held her hand out to me, "Come on," she said, "I have something to show you." 

Edited September 18, 2021 by Gianna

[Gianna]

Chapter Two 

Before she walked me through the relative truths of my life, I had already felt heartbreak. How could I have turned my back on myself my entire life? How could I let others break me into forgetting myself? How could I have lived in a state of dissociation and confusion for so long? The truth that I already knew was that these cracks are what let the light in. The heart of oneness could not have opened itself up without being previously closed in. 

The flowering of the emotional body (the Inner Child) begins with a seed– the seed of Awareness. Awareness is the light of the flowering as if it is the Sun feeding its soul. The Inner Child begins to reveal itself, emotion by emotion. 

"As long as I have Awareness with me" I thought to myself, "I can get through this painful journey back to myself." Little did I know that this little girl angel would be with me along the way. She was in fact the Light of Awareness I was blessed with. She began to show me the truth of everything that I missed. Except, where will she go after every pain is purged out of her? 

Edited September 17, 2021 by Gianna

[Gianna]

"Trials and tribulations will occur from the inside. Your unconscious at some point will start to reveal itself. In the unawakened person, the unconscious never fully comes into conscious awareness, but with awakening our means of suppression and denial are either torn apart completely or wounded so severely that we can't repress as much. The unconscious elements of our mind come into conscious awareness, and that is another kind of trial. What’s being asked of you is to meet all of that inner material from the standpoint of divine being, from the standpoint of eternity—to meet it, to understand it, to resolve it." -Adyashanti 

[RickyFitts]

10 hours ago, Gianna said:

The flowering of the emotional body (the Inner Child) begins with a seed– the seed of Awareness. Awareness is the light of the flowering as if it is the Sun feeding its soul. The Inner Child begins to reveal itself, emotion by emotion. 

Beautiful, just beautiful...

10 hours ago, Gianna said:

"As long as I have Awareness with me" I thought to myself, "I can get through this painful journey back to myself." Little did I know that this little girl angel would be with me along the way. She was in fact the Light of Awareness I was blessed with. She began to show me the truth of everything that I missed. 

Such wisdom... ?

This whole thread is just wonderful, Gianna, thanks so much for sharing  

[Gianna]

@RickyFitts Yayyy So happy. I took the Life Purpose Course earlier this year and I got Creative Writing as my purpose! So it's so good to hear that you think this thread is wonderful. Thanks ricky <3 <3 

Edited September 17, 2021 by Gianna

[RickyFitts]

@Gianna You're so welcome  <3<3

11 hours ago, Gianna said:

I took the Life Purpose Course earlier this year and I got Creative Writing as my purpose! 

I love that, it's so appropriate for you because you write so beautifully ?

[Gianna]

Chapter 3

I guess it all starts with your trauma doesn't it? The pain that kills you. You live your entire life thinking that you are alive when you don't even realize that you are already dead. That you died long ago when you sacrificed yourself for what you thought was other. Silly bean. Most people are put in a position of two options: you or them. It's kind of a cosmic joke. For the people that pick them, they will live their entire life consumed in other, thinking that they are good for it. But how good is this to themself? For the people that pick themselves. Well, this love is so deep people will ostracize you for it. People are afraid of the love that will definitely kill them– self-love. You will be canceled by others if you pick yourself. After all, you didn't pick them. All of this is just a lesson: can you love what brings you pain? 

My pain was not so cute when I saw it. I was the one that picked other. It felt like love at the time. Of course, love is the reason for all of our choices. Yet, even when we think our love is for other it really is just for ourselves. There's no such thing as altruism in a world where you are everything. Yet, there is no such thing as egotistical altruism in a world where you are nothing, not-one-thing! How confusing is this? When you're a child it's even worse. It's like you want your parents to love you but you also just need them to give you food. But you don't have much of a choice when you are a child do you? Do you know what happens during the moment of trauma? What happens is you try to run from yourself but you have nowhere to go. The only place to go is into oblivion– that's where you try to hide from yourself. It's the only place where you can truly forget.  

Let's talk about oblivion for a second. The dictionary says that oblivion mean unconsciousness, but I like to think of oblivion as outer space– I mean it's the same thing really. Because when you are as unconscious as our society is you might as well be in outer space. You're definitely not here, that's for sure. You're in a world of confusion that kind of feels good in the sense that it makes you want to kill yourself. This thought feels like relief when you are drowning in the despair of chaos. Except there is a secret order behind chaos isn't there? I have said before that chaos is not random. It's completely predetermined and then has free will. Do you want to know something about free will? You don't have it in the state of oblivion even when it feels like you do. It's funny, we were talking about relief earlier. Why don't we feel relief in the state of oblivion when everything is determined for you? Haha. So much responsibility that you don't have. You know what's fucked about finally becoming free? It's that you have no idea what you actually want because you are so used to turning to others. Or, you have no idea what you actually want because you are cursed with an irrational fear that you can't get it, that you don't deserve it, or that it is not possible even though you are only dreaming. I mean how sad is this? 
 

Edited September 18, 2021 by Gianna