I Can't Forget About Girls

[doubld]

Hey guys! So much like Leo, seduction/pua material is what introduced me to the field of self-development, about 3 years ago now. While I've made significant gains in all areas of my life since them, I still have a problem with girls in general.

A couple years ago, I would sulk and be extremely sad if a girl rejecting me or if a relationship ended, or even if I was single. Nowadays, it's not so bad. My girlfriend of 9 months lost interest and I broke up with her, and while it sucked hard for a couple weeks it's definitely the best rebound I've had after a break up, I've definitely used it to better myself.

But now the problem,

I can absolutely be happy single now, but I can't help but still have girls be the one of the top focuses of my life. If I know I'm going to meet up with a girl later during a random day, that day becomes significantly better. It's a level of happiness that I can't recreate or even come close to if girls aren't involved. And this worries me cause 

1) it's screwing me up in relationships cause I tend to get a little needy later on

2) I want to be able to experience the happiness I feel with girls in other areas of my life that are more important to me.

I'm already doing the cookie cutter stuff (Meditation and exercise habit, eating healthy, working on myself) and it has worked to an extent.

What do you guys recommend to fix this problem even more?

Should I try to shut myself out from girls for awhile? (Not avoid, but just don't pursue at all)

Should I try to date as many girls as I can to get it out of my system?

Where are you guys at in regards to this? Would love to hear it.

I'm 18 by the way, that probably holds some importance

 

 

[Mitch]

@doubld

Something tells me that the way to lessen the dependency on women for your happiness is to develop a purpose that you are even more passionate about. I feel like dating more women will exacerbate the problem, though this isn't to suggest you quit cold turkey.

Do some soul searching. Have you ever really thought about what you want to do with your life? Think about death. Is your end goal in life to date as many women as possible? Does that create a fulfilling life in your eyes? Contemplate these things deeply. It could be the case that this is what you want to do with your life. It could be something else. Either way, when you become certain about what your purpose is, follow it. By following your highest purpose, other things will become relatively less important to you.

Personally, I feel that a healthy relationship is something that improves my wellbeing. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't make finding a healthy relationship my number one priority but I would certainly be looking out for someone that I could maybe have that with.

Be okay with both being in a relationship and not. Don't bullshit yourself though: if you're not actually okay outside of a relationship, accept that this is the case and work to move past that. Once you are happy with being single or in a relationship, then you will no longer be needy. Perhaps then you'll have even more to give to the relationship when you do have another since you no longer need anything from the other. That isn't to say you no longer desire a relationship and the things that come along with it – you just no longer need it.

Good luck,

Mitch

[kyle barnett]

Hey dude I have the exact same issue as you except i never even got a girlfriend in the first place haha. First off, dont try to force yourself to get over girls. You absolutely can have the same happiness without girls. It's just that your ego prefers the flirtatious sexual type of intimacy over most things like I currently do. Who cares. Embrace it. Some guys just generally LOVE woman and sexuality. Don't worry about neediness. The mistake is that guys think girls hate guys who strongly desire them. That is not true at all. They love it, because it makes them feel alive. The difference is when you attach to girls and try to hold on to them. They hate that because guys like that are nuerotic, if the girl turns them down, they get depressed and it makes the girls feel like they are expected to make the guy feel better because he is unhappy on his own. I don't think you are like that so you should be fine.

 

You need to be fully open and expressive with yourself. And... fully accept yourself. Single or not. That means when a girl says no, you let her. if you are generally happy by yourself, you'l be fine. Most guys do not embrace their sexuality. They are too afraid to be themselves. So the woman has no value for them, yet they need them to feel better. You get where I am coming from?