How to deal with intense suffering. +Dark night (not dp/dr)

[Endangered-EGO]

I feel the need to make this post. I recommend Daniel ingrams book. Also I want to remember exactly what I did, this feels surreal.

You might be experiencing the dukka nanas, and it's a good sign.

https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iv-insight/30-the-progress-of-insight/5-dissolution-entrance-to-the-dark-night/

This is especially helpful if it's post awakening stage.

Yesterday I suffered so bad, and allowed suffering to happen, so I just suffered.

I started to distinguish them. The feeling from the thoughts etc. And just allowed it to flourish. This morning I woke up, feeling sick, like shit.

Then I trusted that I was able to go through all of the dukka nanas. (Dark night).

I started by rapid noting. Seeing that I could note a lot of sensations per second, and tried to do that with emotion and thought.

I also used Shinzen Young's recycle the reaction method.

I SWEAR this was not "me" doing it but a higher force. I had a laser focus instant to instant concentration. I just allowed every suffering to come up. And everything came up. Grief, misery, disgust, despair, get-me-outta-here, reconsideration and finally EQUANIMITY, mild form of no self. I didn't even start by watching the breath as I usually do.

It's like the light of awareness just started shining through every instant of suffering vibration. This also healed my sickness in the Body (which was caused by the intense emotions I'm sure).

This only lasted 30 minutes.

Wow, I'm blown away. I feel like I understand human suffering now fully.

I wonder if this can help anyone who's not aware that they are experiencing the dukka nanas and fighting them. I'm sure this is also gonna help future me forgetting what to do with suffering lmao. Absolutely read Daniel Ingrams book I linked. It's a true masterpiece.  Don't stick only to the map though.

[Endangered-EGO]

Edit: every emotion just lasts an instant. It disappears as soon as it shows up if you see it unentangled. There's a lot of discontinuity in daily life/awareness. And you space out every few seconds. Your awareness just disappears for a second and comes back thousands of times a day!!!

What I also did was to see how fast I could switch awareness from left finger to right finger sensation. I didn't know mindfullness could be done at a 10-noting-per-second rate.

[Moksha]

Thanks for the link. Lengthy, but insightful, and although framed in a meditative context it is consistent with my life experience.

[Endangered-EGO]

@Moksha Yes, but it's not only for meditation, Daniel Ingram specifically states that. It's a naturall process of Awareness. That happens after streamentry, and I bet that most people will experience stream entry.

I would even go as far as saying that these cycles come in long cycles and very short ones.

Meditation (concentration, clarity and equanimity) just accelerates these cycles 100.000 times faster.

I wish I would have gotten a heads up after my Kundalini awakening. I probably got one and just ignored it, because of the esoterical context.

[Moksha]

@Endangered-EGO Definitely not restricted to meditation. I didn't even begin serious meditation until after I reached the Dark Night stage  Some people meditate in order to awaken, but in my case, I meditate in order to survive awakening.

[Endangered-EGO]

@Moksha Same for me. The issue is wrong meditation suppresses what's happening.

All of that possible suffering wants to show itself.

[Moksha]

@Endangered-EGO The maxim is that there is no wrong meditation. I agree. There is value simply in having a consistent meditation practice. The beauty of meditation is that its quality matches what is needed in that moment. You learn to observe the shenanigans of the mind, without being drawn into its drama.

The ego doesn't go down without a fight. I see meditation as judo, rather than karate. It's all about allowing without engaging, until the ego exhausts itself through its insatiable, narcissistic need to win. Eventually, it collapses and the energy that it stole from you is restored.

[Endangered-EGO]

@Moksha I think there is wrong meditation actually, that presevents insights and awakening. Especially if you think you're doing something wrong. And loving-kindness going through every possible type of suffering is counter-productive, because the ego fights with itself.

 

"muncitu-kamyata-nana" is defined by this existence being devastatingly hopeless. There's nothing that's ever going to get you out of this unending misery. That's past the point of suicide contemplation, because even suicide isn't an alternative.

There it is essential to beam it with god's laser of awareness.

I wonder how many people have commited suicide at that stage. Going through one of the last insights on suffering.

Why isn't this taught at school?

[Moksha]

@Endangered-EGO As I see it, meditation is less about technique, and all about integrity, courage, and resolve. When intent is pure, it will slice through dogma like butter, and reveal the true Self.

Yes, wouldn't it be valuable if this was taught in school. Meditation vs. math? 

[Kundalini Cataclysm]

@Endangered-EGO  Thanks for this, I own the book as a physical copy, but haven't read it in its entirety. Checked out the section you mentioned just now and holy shit, it seems that I'm SO in this right now. Thanks for the recommendation, it'll prove helpful for sure!

[Endangered-EGO]

@Moksha In school children aren't told about mental health, I think there's a long way to go until nonduality is taught at school. Deconstructing evolution haha.

@Kundalini Cataclysm It's devastating right? Reading that book opened me up to what wanted to show itself within me, up to the point that I got sick from it because I fought it.

Trust the process. It wants to happen, allow all of the dukkha nanas and your reaction to show up. You'll go through every stage of what Daniel I gram describes. Faith/trust is needed for the last step. But you have it.

[Moksha]

@Endangered-EGO Unfortunately, when it comes to the West, you're right. In the East though, teaching nonduality goes back thousands of years. I see a spiritual tsunami coming for the West, with an overall trend toward greater Consciousness. That said, like most paradigm shifts, there is a struggle between chaos and order before society finally grows. The West has been pretty chaotic the past few years 

People like Eckhart Tolle and Alan Watts have migrated Eastern wisdom to the West, in a language that many people understand and embrace. My hope is that the overall upward trend will continue. Tolle believes it will, but time will tell.

[Breakingthewall]

56 minutes ago, Moksha said:

I see a spiritual tsunami coming for the West,

I think it is unstoppable. there is a hole that must be filled, the transition from dogma to true spirituality has passed through a desert that has produced several generations of dislocated, sad people. Now is time for the next stage

[Moksha]

4 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

I think it is unstoppable. there is a hole that must be filled, the transition from dogma to true spirituality has passed through a desert that has produced several generations of dislocated, sad people. Now is time for the next stage

I agree. Consciousness has an overall upward trajectory, toward Self-realization, within the dream. Any good dream requires drama. Dualities within the dream demand balance. They are opposite ends of the same stick, and when you pick up the stick, you inherit both. Within the dream, there can't be order without chaos.

Overall though, Consciousness trends toward awakening. It is its primary purpose. When the cosmos finally awakens to its true identity...? The dream cycle begins again, and microorganisms swim in the sea of relative reality.

[Breakingthewall]

22 minutes ago, Moksha said:

Consciousness trends toward awakening. It is its primary purpose

yes, everything seems to have a meaning, an order and a purpose, within a total absence of all of them on an absolute level. it is undeniable that, relatively, there is a trend in that direction

[Nahm]

@Endangered-EGO

Awesome insights. ?? 

[Endangered-EGO]

@Nahm Thank you, I hope this can help someone. I wonder what's next, and also am worried about how many people do something stupid in that stage, because of the there's-no-way-out-nana.

[SriSriJustinBieber]

Hahaha I remember repeating religiously to myself while thinking I was going to die in my bed : "Not self, not ending suffering, not permanent"

Edited September 17, 2021 by SriSriJustinBieber