Why do I keep forgetting that THIS IS ALL HAPPENING?

[Endangered-EGO]

It's insane. I've been suffering yesterday and today up until now, because of one emotion and the following thought "this is not how it's supposed to be" or "what am I doing wrong".

Everyone with a little background in meditstion ALWAYS points out recycle the experience, this is just an emotion and a thought that's happening NOW.

It seems like I'm blind and deaf to this pointer. I even sometimes get frustrated with people pointing towards it, because the next thought is then "Oh, if only this was that easy".

I listened to jim newman the last few days,

I needed 2 people to point that out to me today, and only once I read Daniel Ingrams pointers, I got into equanimity. WTF.

Now there's only what's happening (including a sense of self).

I'm gonna tatoo those insights on my hands, so that I never can forget them.

 

( https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-v-awakening/37-models-of-the-stages-of-awakening/a-revised-four-path-model/ )

5) Notice that you can’t do anything other than what happens. Try. See how those patterns occur. Try to do something other than what happens. It is preposterous, but when you try it, there are patterns that arise, patterns of illusion, patterns of pretending, patterns that if you start to look at them you will see are ludicrous, laughable, like a kid’s fantasies. Yet, that is how you believe you are controlling things, so try again and again to do something other than what occurs and watch those patterns of confusion and of pretending to be in control which arise, and you will learn something. This is an unusually profound point. I spent many hours exploring exactly what happens during attempts to do something other than what happens and found it high-yield.

[The0Self]

The seeking for this is like a bandaid on its wild, out of control, full-on-ness. So if there is seeking, the seeking is literally ONLY for exactly what is already appearing to happen. The self/need never actually falls away, but it can be recognized as never having been there.

It's like you're experiencing (separate from everything) as usual, and then suddenly BANG you don't know if you're experiencing or not, because there is only unknowing. So then it's absolutely obvious there never was separation.

This is utterly unbelievable. And yet it's actually too obvious -- that's how it hides.

There is compassion here for seekers thinking they're a person with a life that they have to keep together and find security and safety in. But... It's kind of like watching someone have a psychotic break -- it'll be over eventually, and everything experienced by them was merely hallucination; they were never in any real danger. Actually it's even a bit less momentous than that -- it's just energy.

Edited September 14, 2021 by The0Self

[Endangered-EGO]

@The0Self haha, I can't do anything with that! I want that! But that's the illusion. I want pointers for that, how to get rid of the thing that's causing so much suffering.

Where does this realisation hide? In plain sight?

 

It's feels like I just need one more little secret, one more place to look at, one more arising and passing away. One more insight one more pointer. As if somewhere in some enlighten person's mind there is this pointer that's exactly right for me that's gonna do it and I just need to find it for the search to be over, and arrive at the destination.

 

[The0Self]

@Endangered-EGO Then that's what's appearing to happen there.

There will never come a time when you understand or get this, as there is nowhere else to go. The seeking energy can apparently sputter out in hopeless despair when it can no longer stand avoiding the infinite (total story). You don't actually want it. It's full on chaos.

[The0Self]

@Endangered-EGO

This is like seeing actors in a role who have forgotten they aren’t really that character. But no one sees that.

Edited September 14, 2021 by The0Self

[Breakingthewall]

2 hours ago, Endangered-EGO said:

As if somewhere in some enlighten person's mind there is this pointer that's exactly right for me that's gonna do it and I just need to find it for the search to be over, and arrive at the destination.

When you see that one thing is equal to another, that there is no better or worse, the engine that is generating the separation second by second will become slow, and it will be easy to see through the apparent and realize the limitless. Incomprehensible, unthinkable, Indefinable, untraceable. It's the destination, 

Edited September 14, 2021 by Breakingthewall

[Moksha]

2 hours ago, Endangered-EGO said:

It's feels like I just need one more little secret, one more place to look at, one more arising and passing away. One more insight one more pointer. As if somewhere in some enlighten person's mind there is this pointer that's exactly right for me that's gonna do it and I just need to find it for the search to be over, and arrive at the destination.

What if the secret of not suffering is not in arriving at a destination, but in realizing the serenity of the Self in every step? When you hang your happiness on some future state, you are bound to be disappointed. Fulfillment is only realized where the Self resides, which is in the hidden cave of the heart.

The wise, realizing through meditation
The timeless Self, beyond all perception,
Hidden in the cave of the heart,
Leave pain and pleasure far behind.
Those who know they are neither body nor mind
But the immemorial Self, the divine
Principle of existence, find the source
Of all joy and live in joy abiding.

- Katha 1.2:12

[ivankiss]

So easy to forget the voice that never spoke