People You Work With

[General 2]

For those who are looking for the job they would love...

Imagine you have found this place...or maybe you're simply ok with your job and it totally satisfies you for the time being...but people you have to work with are draining you emotinally and mentally. Every day you feel lonely and only your actual work serves as the only source of distraction from it.

 

Would you ditch this job and continue searching, or people you surround yourself with are not that much included in your journey?

 

[Swede]

I would look for a better job. The world is big and full of opportunities. At my last job I had the problem that I didn't enjoy the work I was doing, but I was satisfied with my coworkers. Because I saw no possibilities improving my work situation, I had to take the responsibility to find an other job.

[Toby]

Could you be a bit more specific? What is it that you like / don't like about the job and the people?

[General 2]

@Toby Like you have no common interests and topics to talk about, none of conversations satisfy you in any way, going to lunch with someone is like a little torture every day.

My department consists of only me so I have to socialize with people from other departments not to feel like a complete unsociable wreck. I mean I do have colleagues who do same work as me, but they all live in other countries and very busy and I don't get to contact them much except a few words on skype once or twice a month.

[laurastarla]

I have the same issue and what I've noticed is that when I'm feeling good with them, it's always because I'm feeling good inside, and when I'm feeling separate - it comes from me. And when their conversations are boring I'm learning how to not feel bad that I don't include myself, who cares really, and faking it is torture as you say. Why do we think this crap is so important, this social conditioning??!! Great practice in not caring what people think about you, accepting others as they are, not judging their interests, and feeling good no matter what the external situation. If you love your job thats incredible and not easy to find IMO, be grateful for that. Take this as an opportunity to strengthen yourself inside. Feeling isolated, different or left out comes from you. Who says we have to follow the pack and be sociable all the time. Look it's still hard for me and sometimes I just wish they would shut up lol, but I know when I'm feeling that way it speaks about what's going on in me, so thats good stuff to work with.  At the same time I genuinely like my colleagues, it's just they are all French and I'm the only American and so there's a big cultural gap. If you really don't feel any connection, it's true you spend most of your time with them, it's important the people you have around you in your life, and maybe your desire to be part of a group is stronger than mine. Also remember colleagues come and go so one day your new best friend might be hired, the dynamics can change ;-)  So consider all that too. Good luck!

[General 2]

@laurastarla  Thanks for the kind words, nice to know you feel similar.

Yes this is the same approach that I use - trying not to judge and see each person as a unique human being worth to be discovered. But often I think if it works with them, how much pleasure I'd be receiving from a social circle that emits similar vibes. Sometimes I feel it doesn't haveto be all about me anyway, they're all just people do their thing so am I...and there might be many things they don't understand about me, like sitting hours in the office and not showing up in public areas much

[Alex4]

so do you feel lonely? When it happens to me I see it like an oportunity to grow myself without having distractions.

[The Monk]

@General 2 Try out meditation, watch more advanced Actualized videos. Which will lead you to realise, that you don't have to be emotionally reliant on anyone, as long as you meditate and have a few good friends to hang out with after work, you're happy. Stop trying to gain the approval of others, and just enjoy your life purpose. If the people are toxic however, I would consider relocating or finding a job elsewhere or maybe even, starting up my own business, because of the perks of being my own boss.

Good luck!