First trip report - Totally dissapointed!

[meow_meow]

So,  I'm 28 years old,  I've been on this journey of Truth seeking for 2.5 years, from which the first half a year or so was mainly based on self help.
It mainly was oriented towards improoving my life since I was depressed & had a bad alchohol, gambling addiction and I was overweight, bad diet, lived with my parents and so on.

I invested a huge chunk of time and suffering to fix those issues.
Long story short - I managed to earn enough money to not work for 2.5 - 3 years, I am in shape, dont live with parents and jumped careers, and now do a job i can tolerate. I'm still a wage slave tho.

For the past ~2 years i've been meditating for ~45 mins daily, and self-inqiruing for ~30 min every other day.

Realisations/experience I've had from doing spiritual practices without psychedelics:

1. Meaning/purpose is arbitrary & relative to me.
2. Have had non-dual experiences.
3. The voice inside my head is not me, neither is the body or any part of it.

So after 2 years of spiritual work I decided that I'm ready for psychedelics.
I did ~2.5 grams of mushrooms alone, home.

I was totally dissapointed!

Effects that I had:

- Non-dual experience, boundaries between objects no longer existed and there was no way to tell where an object ends and another starts. Colors seemed to blend together. Even tho colors lost their meaning.

- Every object that came into my visual field lost its theoretical meaning (story behind it) and it was just was what it is right here and right now. 

I became more sensitive to colors, sounds and physical sensations.

And thats about it, I'm totally dissapointed because I've already experienced that by doing my spiritual practices - meditation, self-inquiry.
Psyches at this ammount and potency did not show me anything beyond what I've already experienced.

Psyches are extremelly hard to get in my country, so I'm looking forward to not fuck around and jump directly to DMT or LSD as soon as I get my hands on them (it can take years to obtain these subtances here)

Thoughts, advice, opinion?

 

[Rilles]

I mean, you had a good first trip, maybe you were just lucky, be careful not to overdose and mindfuck yourself, be humble. 

[meow_meow]

10 minutes ago, Rilles said:

I mean, you had a good first trip, maybe you were just lucky, be careful not to overdose and mindfuck yourself, be humble. 

I'd rather have a bad trip that provides me with something I haven't experienced even if its scary and leads to extreme fear (pff I've freaked out from self-inqiry numerous times before) than this useless waste of time that I invested to gain access psychedelics.

I took me a damn year to get them. I gues God is having fun lol.

[Gregory1]

6 minutes ago, meow_meow said:

I took me a damn year to get them.

You're not being serious, are you?

Where do you live?

Edited September 12, 2021 by Gregory1

[JuliusCaesar]

1 minute ago, meow_meow said:

I'd rather have a bad trip that provides me with something I haven't experienced even if its scary and leads to extreme fear (pff I've freaked out from self-inqiry numerous times before) than this useless waste of time that I invested to gain access psychedelics.

I took me a damn year to get them. I gues God is having fun lol.

You should probably do a higher dose. But take caution, if you take a heroic dose like in the amount of 10+ g you may never want to do another drug again afterward. So gradually work your way up to make sure you're ready(maybe take 3-4 grams next time). And of course, be sure to wait about 12+ days since your last trip to "reset" your level of tolerance.

[roopepa]

2 minutes ago, meow_meow said:

I'd rather have a bad trip that provides me with something I haven't experienced even if its scary and leads to extreme fear

No you don't. You have no idea how bad a trip can be.

It's not about the intensity of a single trip. It's way more useful to do multiple moderate trips (and a lot safer too). Stay within moderate range a good while before you go to heavier doses.

[meow_meow]

10 minutes ago, Gregory1 said:

You're not being serious, are you?

Where do you live?

Yes, I'm serious and I did reach out to a shit ton of people that can provide with a lot of other shit, but no psyches.
Eastern EU, and it's probably obvious that people here don't do psyches, and even self-help is unknown territory for most people, unfortunately.

[Rilles]

27 minutes ago, meow_meow said:

I'd rather have a bad trip that provides me with something I haven't experienced even if its scary and leads to extreme fear (pff I've freaked out from self-inqiry numerous times before) than this useless waste of time that I invested to gain access psychedelics.

I took me a damn year to get them. I gues God is having fun lol.

Then prepare to get your ass handed to you, maybe you'll become wiser. 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, meow_meow said:

than this useless waste of time that I invested to gain access psychedelics.

You have a crappy, defeatist attitude about all this. You simply did one trip. One trip is nothing. It was just a test to see how they affect your system.

It's like you read one sentence into a novel and put it down because you didn't like it.

[Espaim]

1 hour ago, meow_meow said:

I'd rather have a bad trip that provides me with something I haven't experienced even if its scary and leads to extreme fear

You're a good candidate to try 5g then. Make sure to put the mushrooms on lemon juice.

Not that I'm saying you should do it but... if you don't care about trauma? heh

Edited September 12, 2021 by Espaim

[Nahm]

10 hours ago, meow_meow said:

I'd rather have a bad trip that provides me with something I haven't experienced even if its scary

Great life advice relatively speaking, but horrible mindset on psychedelics. If your orientation mentally is what you can get out of it, this will clash with the effectiveness of the substance and leave ‘you’ disappointed & disillusioned. 

[Mu_]

3 hours ago, meow_meow said:

So,  I'm 28 years old,  I've been on this journey of Truth seeking for 2.5 years, from which the first half a year or so was mainly based on self help.
It mainly was oriented towards improoving my life since I was depressed & had a bad alchohol, gambling addiction and I was overweight, bad diet, lived with my parents and so on.

I invested a huge chunk of time and suffering to fix those issues.
Long story short - I managed to earn enough money to not work for 2.5 - 3 years, I am in shape, dont live with parents and jumped careers, and now do a job i can tolerate. I'm still a wage slave tho.

For the past ~2 years i've been meditating for ~45 mins daily, and self-inqiruing for ~30 min every other day.

Realisations/experience I've had from doing spiritual practices without psychedelics:

1. Meaning/purpose is arbitrary & relative to me.
2. Have had non-dual experiences.
3. The voice inside my head is not me, neither is the body or any part of it.

So after 2 years of spiritual work I decided that I'm ready for psychedelics.
I did ~2.5 grams of mushrooms alone, home.

I was totally dissapointed!

Effects that I had:

- Non-dual experience, boundaries between objects no longer existed and there was no way to tell where an object ends and another starts. Colors seemed to blend together. Even tho colors lost their meaning.

- Every object that came into my visual field lost its theoretical meaning (story behind it) and it was just was what it is right here and right now. 

I became more sensitive to colors, sounds and physical sensations.

And thats about it, I'm totally dissapointed because I've already experienced that by doing my spiritual practices - meditation, self-inquiry.
Psyches at this ammount and potency did not show me anything beyond what I've already experienced.

Psyches are extremelly hard to get in my country, so I'm looking forward to not fuck around and jump directly to DMT or LSD as soon as I get my hands on them (it can take years to obtain these subtances here)

Thoughts, advice, opinion?

 

Sounds like you had a decent trip and nothing else needed to be shown.  Next time do a little more, be moderate with this stuff and increase in ways that are not dumb and based off egoic desire.  You seem like you genuinely want to grow, so just do 20-30% more next time.  Sometimes what you went through is all thats going to happen and thats just life, for some that would be a mind blowing trip.

[Breakingthewall]

not all mushrooms are the same, there are mushrooms with more psilocybin and others with less. 2 gr can be quite strong or very soft. think of them as mushrooms, not a synthesized molecule. Get 10 or 15 grams, chop them into small pieces, try 2 gr, and depending on how you see it, you can try 4 that will be proportional. if they are from another batch, it may be radically different

[JuliusCaesar]

@Mu_ Totally off-topic I know. But is that a picture of Michelle Obama hugging George Bush? omegalol

[Mu_]

15 hours ago, JuliusCaesar said:

@Mu_ Totally off-topic I know. But is that a picture of Michelle Obama hugging George Bush? omegalol

ya it is

[Gregory1]

On 12.9.2021 at 8:25 PM, meow_meow said:

Yes, I'm serious and I did reach out to a shit ton of people that can provide with a lot of other shit, but no psyches.
Eastern EU, and it's probably obvious that people here don't do psyches, and even self-help is unknown territory for most people, unfortunately.

There are legal LSD pro-drugs like 1-P-LSD. You can buy them online. For mushrooms: It's only illegal to buy Mushrooms, it's legal to buy the seeds of them. Simply buy the seeds online as well as a grow-kit and grow your own mushrooms:) 

[JuliusCaesar]

10 minutes ago, Gregory1 said:

There are legal LSD pro-drugs like 1-P-LSD. You can buy them online. For mushrooms: It's only illegal to buy Mushrooms, it's legal to buy the seeds of them. Simply buy the seeds online as well as a grow-kit and grow your own mushrooms:) 

I strongly suggest you send your substances to a lab for analysis before doing them. Or at the very least make use of a test kit like the Ehrlich variant.

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, JuliusCaesar said:

I strongly suggest you send your substances to a lab for analysis

Be careful! Mailing drugs is called dealing and mail fraud. Don't do dumb things that will cause you legal problems.

[Sage]

@Gregory1 Mushrooms don't have seeds...

[Gregory1]

7 hours ago, Sage said:

@Gregory1 Mushrooms don't have seeds...

@Sage you know what I mean..