Never Call A Girl Fat

[cetus]

[Thought Art]

3 minutes ago, cetus said:

[FlyingLotus]

          If you want to solve the problem of sexism, racism or social inequality you have to address those distinctions head on, without pretending they play no role in someone’s quality of life.  White people and non-whites do not have the same amount of privilege.  Same with men, women or trans people.  Same with rich people or poor people.  Same with heterosexuals and the LGBTQ community.

           I’m a woman of color, but I’m privileged as heck because I’m hard working and conscious enough to be aware of God and committed to my growth.  I don’t feel guilty about my gifts; I embrace them.  Instead of feeling guilty about privilege, people should use their gifts to contribute to the world.  It’s better than nitpicking at the less privileged.    

 

On 9/11/2021 at 4:49 PM, Leo Gura said:

#1 rule of dealing with girls: never call them fat unless they are skinnier than a supermodel.

          I still wouldn’t do this if a girl was super skinny.  What if she’s skinny because she has an eating disorder?

          I know in the PUA community “negging” girls and saying mean things about their looks, weight, race, etc is suggested as a flirtation tactic, but there are much better ways to flirt with girls.  

          Women are sensitive about weight.  Men are sensitive about height.  I personally can’t think of any productive reasons to comment on either of those things unasked.  Even if someone‘s lost a lot of weight, it’s better to say, “you look great” instead of “you look way skinnier.”  It's not something you have to do, but it's a more socially skilled way of broaching the subject.  

Edited September 15, 2021 by FlyingLotus

[Enlighten]

On 9/12/2021 at 4:07 PM, gettoefl said:

if you knew god was coming to dinner tonight, would you dress how you would do for a date

 

[PurpleTree]

10 hours ago, FlyingLotus said:

 White people and non-whites do not have the same amount of privilege.  Same with men, women or trans people.  Same with rich people or poor people.  Same with heterosexuals and the LGBTQ community.

As i posted before asians make the most money in the U.S. not whites. Now it's not all about the money obviously but thats probably the biggest part of privilege imo.

10 hours ago, FlyingLotus said:

I’m a woman of color, but I’m privileged as heck because I’m hard working and conscious enough to be aware of God and committed to my growth. 

If it makes you happy to call yourself a "woman of color" then that's cool, but imo that's another rather useless term.

"woman of color" what does that even mean, you're a non white woman? ook

 

to me you're just a person, not a "karen" and not a "woman of color"

Edited September 15, 2021 by PurpleTree

[PurpleTree]

i just feel like most of those terms put people in boxes and it doesn't really help

"she's a karen" "she's a woman of color" "he's an anti-vaxxer" "he's a libtard" "she's the victim" "he's a colonialist"

i feel like americans especially love those terms and boxes (not just them obviously) and it shows in the climate of your society

 

 

now i'm not enlightened or anything etc. there are many things that trigger me and that i'm trying to work on

[FlyingLotus]

          If you honestly don’t understand why categories are useful when trying to analyze problems and solve horrific situations, maybe you should read more books or learn about the world.  There’s a reason why the scientific method has dependent, independent, controlled and extraneous variables.

          You sound young, sheltered and spoiled.  You have the luxury of not caring about things like race, sex, getting attacked for kissing someone’s who’s the same sex, worrying about the cops shooting your 17 year old son for wearing a hoodie, worrying about your 90 year old Vietnamese grandma for getting beaten to death because of racial attacks, being passed over for a promotion because as a black woman you can’t be drinking buddies with the boss like the less qualified white guy who the boss automatically identifies with.

          It’s why rich people don’t see money.  They have the luxury of not needing to track their money because they know it’ll never be a problem.  That’s why you don’t need to care about categories like race, sex, income, age, etc.  Those problems don’t affect you in real ways like less privileged people who have very difficult, tangible survival situations.  The kind of survival situations that would make you cry for mommy.

          If you get triggered by strangers on forums having sober discussions about race, just imagine how triggering it is to actually BE a victim of racial attacks, homophobic violence or sexual assault.  If you have no interest in relating to other people's pain don’t be surprised if others have zero interest in understanding you.  The Universe is a mirror.  What’s inside gets reflected back.  Karma’s a bad bitch mistress.

          Thinking that “Karens are the victims we should be talking about” is an insult to Karens.  Karens’ got better shit to worry about.  I bet most of them are stronger that you're projecting and have bigger fish to fry.

          “Woman of color” is a quality.  I’m a lot of things and I have a lot of qualities.  Depending on context some of those qualities are relevant, some are not.  Unique qualities don’t automatically make something good or bad.  Value is relative.

          It’s interesting how you lumped being a woman and being non-white with insults like “libtard.”  I love being a woman.  I love being Chinese.  (That’s not a knock on people who aren’t Chinese and people who aren’t women.)  I don’t care that much that I’m hetero, but I recognize how lucky I am that there’s a lot of serious problems I’ll never have to worry about.

         Your situation is both fortunate and pathetic.  I do mean pathetic in the dictionary sense of the word.  “Arousing or deserving of scornful pity.”  You’ve been so coddled by life that you have no real life reference points for true suffering.  Your resilience muscles are weak.

          If your first thought about all the genuinely terrible, heartbreaking stuff that’s happening all over the world, that has been magnified by covid, is “waaaaaa categories.  I’m so triggered,”  you honestly need to leave your mom’s basement.  This is genuine advice.  Do some volunteer work.  Get to know someone from a different race or socio economic background.  The horrific images you see in newspapers are other people’s everyday lived reality.  Educate yourself, for your own sake.

 

[PurpleTree]

1 hour ago, FlyingLotus said:

          If you honestly don’t understand why categories are useful when trying to analyze problems and solve horrific situations, maybe you should read more books or learn about the world.  There’s a reason why the scientific method has dependent, independent, controlled and extraneous variables.

          You sound young, sheltered and spoiled.  You have the luxury of not caring about things like race, sex, getting attacked for kissing someone’s who’s the same sex, worrying about the cops shooting your 17 year old son for wearing a hoodie, worrying about your 90 year old Vietnamese grandma for getting beaten to death because of racial attacks, being passed over for a promotion because as a black woman you can’t be drinking buddies with the boss like the less qualified white guy who the boss automatically identifies with.

          It’s why rich people don’t see money.  They have the luxury of not needing to track their money because they know it’ll never be a problem.  That’s why you don’t need to care about categories like race, sex, income, age, etc.  Those problems don’t affect you in real ways like less privileged people who have very difficult, tangible survival situations.  The kind of survival situations that would make you cry for mommy.

          If you get triggered by strangers on forums having sober discussions about race, just imagine how triggering it is to actually BE a victim of racial attacks, homophobic violence or sexual assault.  If you have no interest in relating to other people's pain don’t be surprised if others have zero interest in understanding you.  The Universe is a mirror.  What’s inside gets reflected back.  Karma’s a bad bitch mistress.

          Thinking that “Karens are the victims we should be talking about” is an insult to Karens.  Karens’ got better shit to worry about.  I bet most of them are stronger that you're projecting and have bigger fish to fry.

          “Woman of color” is a quality.  I’m a lot of things and I have a lot of qualities.  Depending on context some of those qualities are relevant, some are not.  Unique qualities don’t automatically make something good or bad.  Value is relative.

          It’s interesting how you lumped being a woman and being non-white with insults like “libtard.”  I love being a woman.  I love being Chinese.  (That’s not a knock on people who aren’t Chinese and people who aren’t women.)  I don’t care that much that I’m hetero, but I recognize how lucky I am that there’s a lot of serious problems I’ll never have to worry about.

         Your situation is both fortunate and pathetic.  I do mean pathetic in the dictionary sense of the word.  “Arousing or deserving of scornful pity.”  You’ve been so coddled by life that you have no real life reference points for true suffering.  Your resilience muscles are weak.

          If your first thought about all the genuinely terrible, heartbreaking stuff that’s happening all over the world, that has been magnified by covid, is “waaaaaa categories.  I’m so triggered,”  you honestly need to leave your mom’s basement.  This is genuine advice.  Do some volunteer work.  Get to know someone from a different race or socio economic background.  The horrific images you see in newspapers are other people’s everyday lived reality.  Educate yourself, for your own sake.

 

i'm actually not really sheltered, everybody has their hardships and trauma but i don't care to get into it.

but yea i'm from western europe and it seems we don't put people as much in boxes as the u.s. and we seem to have a more peaceful place, people here don't get shot for hoodies and stuff  and cops don't fear for their life everyday/night

not saying western europe is perfect or even great btw we have other issues

[SQAAD]

I've called my sister fat once years ago. And she still remembers it. Thats a solid advice for sure. Women don't forgive/forget easily if you've made them feel bad.

[Ilan]

I called all my ex girl friend fat in a playful and loving way. It seems it was healing them and pushing them to go meta about it(in my experience) but maybe I’m just a devil 

[FlyingLotus]

On 9/15/2021 at 1:48 PM, PurpleTree said:

i'm from western europe and it seems we don't put people as much in boxes as the u.s. and we seem to have a more peaceful place, people here don't get shot for hoodies and stuff  and cops don't fear for their life everyday/night

Things like that absolutely 1000% do happen in Western Europe.  You just don't notice it because you don't have to.  

Part of personal development is learning lessons the easy way.  If you can’t empathize with the plight of others, life will teach you to empathize through massive amounts of heart shattering, soul crushing pain.  The kind of pain that will swallow you whole and eat you alive.  The suffering you dismiss is the suffering you will one day experience.  The Universe is a mirror and Everything is One after all. 

I'd personally rather you learn things the easy way, through books and the internet and deep friendships, etc.  Your Life Purpose is almost always related to your deepest pain.  Suffering makes life more meaningful if you use it properly ?? 

Edited September 16, 2021 by FlyingLotus

[FlyingLotus]

26 minutes ago, Ilan said:

I called all my ex girl friend fat in a playful and loving way. It seems it was healing them and pushing them to go meta about it(in my experience) but maybe I’m just a devil 

Yeah, it's totally fine if both people are genuinely cool with it.  Those celebrity roasts can be pretty funny.  So is the "Between Two Ferns" show, because everyone's in on the joke.   

 

 

[WikiRando]

A devil might abuse this based Buddha knowledge to disastrous consequences. Haha

Edited September 17, 2021 by WikiRando

[vindicated erudite]

On 11/09/2021 at 11:49 PM, Leo Gura said:

unless they are skinnier than a supermodel.

Don't do this either because they might be anorexic.