Who would I be If I released all my memories?

[trenton]

This is a very interesting to me from a spiritual and personal growth standpoint.  I have so many memories both good and bad that I could integrate lessons from or release the emotional significance I attach to them.  If I released all of the emotional significance, it would almost be like a blank slate.  Maybe it would be like transcending time if ego cannot exist without memories of a past or aspirations and fears of the future to give context to "me."

I would like to spend about 1 month alone so I could write out all of my memories and meditate on the emotions attached to them.  I do a little bit every day and I can tell it is hard to do because I have to go to work, occasionally fight with my family as we play a bunch of power games with each other through emotional manipulation, and I am practicing against strong chess players for my tournaments.  If these were not concerns for me, I could get a lot of inner work done and I could be a considerably different person in terms of my consciousness.

Currently, my work allows for one week vacation at most.  I do my best to stay out of the fights because when I'm angry I'm more likely to say something stupid, yet I also feel harassed.  as for my memories, I often have inner conflict regarding my interpretation of past events.  This can lead to harsh self judgement, intrusive thoughts, and other limitations.  How much do you think this kind of spiritual practice could accomplish?  Maybe I should start by writing out all memories good or bad that has a strong emotional charge.

[mandyjw]

You already don't have memories, memories are recalled depending on your emotional state now. You can also go along with where your emotional state is stuck on a memory, and recall something that drags you down. You are like a doorway and how you feel is an indicator of the clarity with which you are thinking whether you are recalling or looking at something. The reason you are interested in clearing negative emotions from memories is that you want to feel better now. You can go straight to doing that, and that is the direct way. Pay attention to how you feel over the content of the thoughts. If a memory needs to be cleared or seen in a different light, your desire to feel love and be connected with Source will make it all come about. You might wake up in the middle of the night with an intense power flowing through you and write out past traumas, laughing and crying and loving it all. The point is you don't have to proactively do it. The intention to feel good is enough. Source is just that damn good. 

Here's a good analogy. You live thinking you have memories, thinking you are a character in a novel. Actually you're the author, and so you love all the negative situations, you created them, even though you still adore your character, you realize that you created them all, and the entire plot. So when we tap into the creative Love of the author, we see the grand scheme of things, and more importantly the underlying love behind everything. 

[Nahm]

8 hours ago, trenton said:

This is a very interesting to me from a spiritual and personal growth standpoint.  I have so many memories both good and bad that I could integrate lessons from or release the emotional significance I attach to them.  If I released all of the emotional significance, it would almost be like a blank slate.  Maybe it would be like transcending time if ego cannot exist without memories of a past or aspirations and fears of the future to give context to "me."

Memories experienced are no more yours than trees passed while driving down a road. Simply enjoy the beauty & richness of the experience. 

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I would like to spend about 1 month alone so I could write out all of my memories and meditate on the emotions attached to them.  I do a little bit every day and I can tell it is hard to do because I have to go to work, occasionally fight with my family as we play a bunch of power games with each other through emotional manipulation, and I am practicing against strong chess players for my tournaments.  If these were not concerns for me, I could get a lot of inner work done and I could be a considerably different person in terms of my consciousness.

That is the work! Life’s teaching you. You think the lesson (and ‘solution’) is ‘somewhere else’. That’s aversion of feeling. 

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Currently, my work allows for one week vacation at most.  I do my best to stay out of the fights because when I'm angry I'm more likely to say something stupid, yet I also feel harassed.  as for my memories, I often have inner conflict regarding my interpretation of past events.  This can lead to harsh self judgement, intrusive thoughts, and other limitations.  How much do you think this kind of spiritual practice could accomplish?  Maybe I should start by writing out all memories good or bad that has a strong emotional charge.

Memories experienced are no more yours than trees passed while driving down a road. Focus though, that’s as yours as anything could possibly be. 

Who, spirituality, personal growth, etc, those are memories. That they are good & bad is judgement. The veil of judgement makes memories seem not like you - but yours. 

[Tim R]

3 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Focus though, that’s as yours as anything could possibly be. 

@Nahm What is focus? 

[Nahm]

@Tim R

What is a self referential thought.

[VeganAwake]

It's not about becoming, it's realizing there already wasn't anyone there.

❤

[Tim R]

33 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Focus though, that’s as yours as anything could possibly be. 

The veil of judgement makes memories seem not like you - but yours. 

16 minutes ago, Nahm said:

What is a self referential thought.

So "focus" is the self-referencing? (somehow?)

If focus is "yours" (or "mine") as you said and judgement makes things seem to be not me but "yours/mine", i.e. seeming to be separate from me, then the act by which "yours" is created is focusing? 

Or am I completely overthinking this??

[Nahm]

@Tim R

I didn’t say focus is yours. I said it’s as yours as anything could possibly be. A slight concession to bridge some communication. You’re taking it too literally there. Likewise, the title says ‘what is a self referential thought’, not ‘focus is a self referential thought’. Although, focus is also a self referential thought. Unless of course, it isn’t. 

[Mason Riggle]

"I have no other self than the totality of things of which I am aware." - Alan Watts