How should I text her?

[Striving for more]

I met a beautiful girl and got her number on Saturday.

I flirted and touched her but unfortunately didn't kiss her in time. 

 I texted her and she took couple days to reply, then gave me a different number (whatsap)

It's been 2 days & I haven't messaged her again yet ... I would like to arrange a date this weekend. 

Because she's beautiful I have to be as smooth as possible.

Pick up videos telling me women like men who have other options, their own interests and are not needy so this why I haven't texted her again yet. 

Should I start off with casual "hey it's me are you free this weekend" ... or is that too needy and should I try to flirt via text first (fuckI hate text flirting) 

Or should I say "hey I am from that bar I remember how you said you are like this X, you seem interesting tell me about Y (Again fuck that plz) ...

If any kind womanizers wants to speak with me directly and I can explain context if you can help. I really want to get a date with this girl.

Edited September 9, 2021 by Striving for more

[Striving for more]

someone reply please simple thread come on

[mandyjw]

There are no rules in love or war. Get in a good mood. If you feel inspired to text her do. If not, you'll be in a good mood. Win, win. 

[mandyjw]

11 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

someone reply please simple thread come on

See what you did here? Get out of that, "I need a reply, I need to send a text, I need to know the next thing to do" mode. Listen to some music. Watch something funny. Chill. She wants fun you, not needy you. Be that. Not for her, or anyone else, for YOU! 

"Because she's beautiful I have to be smooth." UH! No! Women want to feel beautiful, feel your appreciation of their beauty in the moment, not be treated like a video game console that is in low stock and high demand. That's what beauty is for. It's for YOU! 

[Striving for more]

36 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

Chill. She wants fun you, not needy you. Be that. Not for her, or anyone else, for YOU! 

Great quote.  

[Gesundheit2]

@Striving for more Get her out of your head and go meet other women.

[SgtPepper]

I am not a womanizer, but I have been in a romantic relationship for 10 years and I am engaged, so I'd like to think I know how to keep a girl around. 

I would just say something like "Hey I hope you've been enjoying your life. I had a really good time with you doing x, y, z that day. Want to get together and do something fun this weekend?" 

If you do this, make sure you have some idea of what to do that is fun, incase she says like what haha. Some examples are like "Let's go bowling" or "Let's check out this mall" or "take a walk around the park, and smoke some weed." Whatever is interesting for you and her. 

Be descriptive (1-2 sentences) about what you like: like "I enjoyed talking to you." Or "I love how we bounced ideas off each other about ___" 

Be straight forward about what you want too. "I really like you." "I'd like to get to know you better." "Let's go to the city and check out this museum" 

and dude, don't get lost in her beauty, what about your beauty? Stay in your body and breathe from your balls.

If you don't see yourself as a prize, as valuable company, then your best self won't show up.

Be wholesome and genuine. Actively listen, connect to her feelings. Talk about how things make you feel and smile. 

Edited September 9, 2021 by SgtPepper

[hamedsf]

never arrange the date by saying: hey, are you free to...? she's absolutely free but chooses to be fake busy for some people by intention. so be attractive guy that she gives her free time in a boatload and 100% she has it.

and don't play the game of less messaging her to make yourself worthy in her eyes, be a busy man and you will do it naturally. I myself have been so busy that I unintentionally and naturally forget to message some girls for a while. 

Edited September 10, 2021 by hamedsf

[Javfly33]

Leo reply;

You already thought too much about her. Do as shes gone now.

[flowboy]

On 09/09/2021 at 3:57 PM, Striving for more said:

Because she's beautiful I have to be as smooth as possible.

This kind of thinking will get you in trouble.

Being 'smooth' is code for being not-yourself. Polished.

She'll feel that vibe and notice you're putting on a show.

Because you think her being beautiful means you gotta change your natural behavior, that means you think your normal self is not good enough for her. If you think that, she sure will believe that. So better nip all of that smoothness in the bud, it doesn't work!

What does work?

• Being yourself without modulating your natural behavior
• Not shying away from awkwardness, but laughing about it
• Making yourself vulnerable by saying what you really want and think, exposing yourself to potential rejection
• Express interest in yourself while talking about yourself, and express interest in her when you talk about her

 

What I'd personally do, is not even send a text, but a voice message. Much more ballsy and vulnerable, more original, more memorable, more chance of reply. She gets to experience you better in that way.

Put yourself in a good mood beforehand. I like to go to the gym, but you can call up a friend, whatever gets you out of your head and in a good mood. Or just pick any moment in your day where you are already active and feeling good, and just do it there, impulsively. That's actually best. Then record an unpolished, off-the-cuff, casual sounding message,

saying

• you've been meaning to message her,
• work in a couple words on what you're doing right now, preferably mention some relatable positive sounding activity, or a nice environment, to show you're mostly thinking about your fun life, not just preoccupied about her
• optionally an inside joke from your previous conversation, or something you can tease her with
• mention that you liked meeting her and let's hang out again
• propose a date and a time. Assertively.

So not: "are you available? Would you like to? Question mark question mark?" None of that. That smells like fear and submissiveness.

"Let's do X, i think that'd be fun, so let me know if you're in. " Notice the important difference between asking whether she's "in", and asking whether she'd like that. The former makes it sound like you are proposing something cool that she can choose to be a part of. The latter makes it sound like you are trying to please her.

When you get the reply, simply propose a date and time: "Let's meet at X day at Z time"

Notice they are statements, not questions. Don't overdo it on the assertiveness and sound angry, just sound chill.

If she can't that day, but still wants to, she'll propose another day. Then see if that works for you, if it does, now you have a date, if it doesn't, repeat the process.

I know it sounds scarier to leave a voice message, but trust me it's sooo much better than obsessing over the right words to type. And it's actually less effort. Which makes you seem cooler than anything you could type. It's instantly better, because it shows you're not shy, and you're not like most people who are too insecure to use their voice right away. Puts you above the rest without even having to try.

Edited September 10, 2021 by flowboy

[Striving for more]

@flowboy That's probably the best advise I've heard, wow thanks. 

I wish I found this advise eariler because ... I have already sent her a lame & pointless second message with no response (after she had replied to me with interest to my first message) 

I'll do the voice message but I think it's too late because she probably won't read it now. 

Also, do you think it's better to arrange her to meet me on a night out with my other friends or ... to set up a 1 on 1 date in the day ( like party context OR going cool naturistic places in day / " come back to my place after")

Edited September 11, 2021 by Striving for more

[flowboy]

59 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

That's probably the best advise I've heard, wow thanks. 

I wish I found this advise eariler because ... I have already sent her a lame & pointless second message with no response (after she had replied to me with interest to my first message) 

Hey, glad to help!

Sorry it was maybe too late for this one, but I'd be happy to have a chat next time you're in a situation like this.

59 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

I'll do the voice message but I think it's too late because she probably won't read it now. 

Good to do it anyway, for practice.

59 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

Also, do you think it's better to arrange her to meet me on a night out with my other friends or ... to set up a 1 on 1 date in the day ( like party context OR going cool naturistic places in day / " come back to my place after")

You take her to the environment that you are most comfortable in. You need to set yourself up to feel your best.

If you are already going out with your friends anyway, and you usually have a good time and are comfortable there, and your friends are real friends who like you and treat you with respect, then that can work great to invite her along.

I didn't really like noisy places so my preference has usually been to invite a girl to play pool somewhere for example, because I like that. One time I invited a girl along to watch me play drums and teach her a bit, that's nice. But I've also done plenty of just hanging out at my place, having some tea. Or making a plan to go for a walk somewhere, but then first meeting at my place, so she can get comfortable there before we go, and it feels more natural to come back there afterwards. (Sometimes we'd make out or have sex before we went, and that's fine, but if not that's also fine) Or just making a simple dinner at my place while I let her help and tell her how to chop the vegetables. It really doesn't matter much, as long as it's something you actually like doing and she's comfortable with it.

If I played videogames, I'd probably have invited girls over to play video games. I heard that can be a great date. But I don't game.

Edited September 11, 2021 by flowboy

[museumoftrees]

Simply don't try to be smooth by text and do not try to build attraction. Just arrange a date and don't text her anything else. She'll respond or flake independent of how you texted her. Text her something as simple as this :

Hey - i'm free on the 17 - meet me at (x) at 7

No question marks

[zazen]

Use text for logistics, rather than back and forth conversation (keep that for in person). 

If your doing something already thats great, draw her into your world, it shows you have a life besides her. That way whether she joins or not its not a rejection to you, your already doing something fun and just invited her to join on the adventure, her loss. 

If setting up one one one, ask her plans for the week. See when she's free and better to make a statement rather than question. Instead of asking would you like to do x on y day, make a statement ie cool lets grab a drink at this place at 7 on x. Comes across more confident. 

Also, if you ask lets do something Friday evening and she's genuinely busy and declines, then you ask okay lets do something Sunday im also free then and she's also busy then and decline it sets a bad tone and precedent for the relationship / comes across like she's rejecting you. All subconscious of course. Best to just find out when she's free and plan for then. 

[Striving for more]

Yeah guys it's all over, I texted her to slow playing games, but to be honest, it was already all over when I didn't seal the moment at the bar. 

To be fair, I hate texting, I'm going to just man up & approach lots of pretty women in bars, this way they can reject me straight away, move on to the next, & try and dance and kiss them then & there ... that sounds so much more fun & to the point ... this way when I go home & in the week I can focus on my goals & my vision & be at ease. 

(Fri - Sun evening = Pick up zone), (Mon Fri + weekends in day = Business, work, goals, study). On switch, Off switch. 

It feels wayyy better getting a girls number after dancing or kissing her too, takes off lot of pressure & this is how I failed with this girl, I didn't have the game & the Persistence in person, that's when it counts. 

Fuck this waiting it out texting game. 

Some mixed opinions here but : the takeaway 

• No bs back & forth small talk via text >> just arrange  date straight away 
• Do voice call when in good mood (after gym) & be direct (Thanks Flowboy)
• OR send direct text message to arrange date & nothing else 

I personally like the idea of sending a voice call, it feels more boolsy & human. 

It's time to go out to the bars & I will do it alone because I don't have pick up friends.

It sometimes gets to me the thought "oh so you're here alone just to fuck are ya? hahaha u loser"

Then I remind myself that fuck what anyone thinks, I hope that if I just own it they will respect the confidence "yes yes I am because I like meeting women & I like the game, I don't need to have a wing, my only "clutch" is the clothes I wear 

Edited September 16, 2021 by Striving for more

[zazen]

Keep it up brother. The voice note thing flowbow mentioned sounds awesome, def a way to stand out. A lot of people don't like hearing their own voice lol.