Can we stop with the vulgar and toxic language here?

[soos_mite_ah]

2 hours ago, somegirl said:

"Hot women in their 20s have lots of sex", "you can't tell me most girls don't do this and that", "girls who go to the clubs do so because of sex, you can't tell me otherwise"... Can you stop with this already? I don't know where you guys grow up in, it must be tough there, but it's not like that everywhere. 

Using such vulgar phrases and insulting names such as "whore, slut" and overgeneralizing is so toxic. I also feel awful when I look at those comments. Not because I identify with it, but because it kind of proves my point (that I try not to believe) that men indeed treat women as non-humans, with no emotions and integrity. 

Can you consider the fact that some girls who CAN have sex with most guys, just DON'T? Crazy, right? I know, I was mind-blown too.

Stop looking at girls as non-human walking vaginas that have no brains and dignity of their own. 

Exactly! And some of us are simply focused on other areas of our lives during that time period like focusing on, school, work, family, friends, and other commitments. As a result, some of us don't have the time or energy to put ourselves out there to that extent in that particular way.  Not everything revolves around sex and relationships for us and nor should it.  Hell, some of us just don't like anyone enough to go further. 

Definitely women who party and have lots of sex exist but I think when it comes to things like this, peer group and what social circle you're a part of matters much more. And taking things like social circle into account can help a lot with the generalizations. 

Edited September 9, 2021 by soos_mite_ah

[Gregory1]

2 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

Another thing which i would like improved here is whenever you think someone is wrong then explain to them why they are wrong. You are wrong/biased etc is not enough, an explanation of why they are so would be more useful.  Do you really expect a super stubborn person to understand it all by himself without any guidance? I noticed it in the girls want traditional man thread that was locked, not a good job was done to explain the OP why he was biased and wrong.

This is a very important point. Many people on this forum are lazy and simply post 1-liners basically just saying "you are wrong", "you are deluded" or whatever without delivering any explanations as to why they think that. Basically to many people post without delivering any value (value=helping somebody to understand something by explaining it concisely and clearly) 

[somegirl]

25 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Hell, some of us just don't like anyone enough to go further. 

True. I don't know for you, but it's super hard for me personally to fall in love, let alone go any further. It takes years for me to find somebody attractive in every aspect I find important. And I don't say that to brag, I'm actually kind of frustrated that it is that way. Sometimes I wish I could just fall in love more easily. 

And I honestly don't want to waste my or someone else's time when I see something I don't like in someone. Instead of sweeping it under a rug and pretending everything is fine, I'm just open and say that I don't think this is gonna work. I like my peace way too much than creating unnecessary problems for myself.

[soos_mite_ah]

8 minutes ago, somegirl said:

True. I don't know for you, but it's super hard for me personally to fall in love, let alone go any further. It takes years for me to find somebody attractive in every aspect I find important. And I don't say that to brag, I'm actually kind of frustrated that it is that way. Sometimes I wish I could just fall in love more easily. 

Oh no I'm exactly the same way. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I liked someone to where I wanted to consistently put my time and effort in. Maybe I'm picky, maybe it's my terrible luck of circumstance that I haven't met many people that I'm actually interested in, or maybe it's my life style/ recreational choices or some combination of all of the above. There is a part of me that wishes I was a hopeless romantic that would fall for people left and right because then maybe I would more easily find someone who feels the same way. 

And while not everyone can relate to this, I know I'm not some type of one off edge case either. 

8 minutes ago, somegirl said:

And I honestly don't want to waste my or someone else's time when I see something I don't like in someone. Instead of sweeping it under a rug and pretending everything is fine, I'm just open and say that I don't think this is gonna work. I like my peace way too much than creating unnecessary problems for myself.

 Same. I think it's better for both parties if you don't settle. First of all, the guy doesn't deserve to be led on by a girl who isn't actually interested in him or doesn't like him. And second, you deserve to actually be with people you genuinely like. 

Also again, there are better things to worry about than creating unnecessary drama. Like I have shit to do, I don't have time for this and other games. What's the point of getting into a relationship or any romantic or sexual situation if you aren't having fun and if at the end of the day it just causes more headache? I'd rather be lonely and horny and have my peace of mind and sanity in tact than get into a situation that is emotionally eroding me and causing more harm than good. 

Edited September 9, 2021 by soos_mite_ah

[Hello from Russia]

2 hours ago, somegirl said:

"Hot women in their 20s have lots of sex", "you can't tell me most girls don't do this and that", "girls who go to the clubs do so because of sex, you can't tell me otherwise"... Can you stop with this already? I don't know where you guys grow up in, it must be tough there, but it's not like that everywhere. 

Using such vulgar phrases and insulting names such as "whore, slut" and overgeneralizing is so toxic. I also feel awful when I look at those comments. Not because I identify with it, but because it kind of proves my point (that I try not to believe) that men indeed treat women as non-humans, with no emotions and integrity. 

Can you consider the fact that some girls who CAN have sex with most guys, just DON'T? Crazy, right? I know, I was mind-blown too.

Stop looking at girls as non-human walking vaginas that have no brains and dignity of their own. 

We are ourselves the biggest sluts and whores 

[SgtPepper]

I agree.

Need more gentlemen here. And the amount of cynicism here about dating and relationships is sad lol. 

 

Edited September 9, 2021 by SgtPepper

[Etherial Cat]

10 minutes ago, blueberries said:

Yet I constantly see females sharing their perspectives and experiences and being told that they're deluded because they're female and can't face the harsh truths of their gender. I'm sure some females are deluded some of the time, and I realise that the female perspective has its limitations, but I find it pretty uncomfortable to dismiss someone purely on the basis of their gender and not the meat of their argument. That creates a pretty toxic environment. Same applies to men being dismissed for being male, but I've not seen that on this forum yet (have witnessed it in real life).

Yes. I've found that a lot of men are trying to beat us up into their projections/mental models. They really insist on what must be our experience and resort to plenty of mental gymnastic to make it work.

My experience of life so far:

• I've been spending all my week-ends in the clubs from age 17 to 21 without having sex with anyone met there. Though, to be fair, I got sexually abused after being intoxicated with drugs and alcohol. But I'm sure we agree this doesn't count...
• I have been in a relationship with the same person for most of my 20s. Actually, to be precise since I've turned 22. So that whole cock carrousel bullshit is totally foreign to me.

[Nos7algiK]

The extremally biased and ignorant generalizations of both sexes are pretty silly. So many in here boil everything down to women only want a successful/rich/attractive man and if they see him he could easily sleep with her. Also, men only wants a women with a nice figure and if he sees someone like this he will want to sleep with her no mater what. Both sexes are guilty of holding warped views of the opposite sex, but men here generally tend to hold warped views about both sexes.

Women can clearly state their own intentions and preferences but someone almost always tells them they are wrong for stating their truth in an almost hostile way. It's a foolish thing to believe you, a stranger on the internet, knows someone better than they know themselves. Though, I don't discredit the idea some people do delude themselves from time to time. If a women here does talk about her past sexual history it's usually met with a strawman argument and is then in turned used against her in some righteous twisted manner.

Men are not allowed to say they want a deeper more fulfilling relationship or seeing a woman's tits doesn't just automatically turn them on to the point they have to try to have sex with that women without being told they are "above tits" and lying. Men are not allowed to talk about being kind to women without being called a child or a pussy. Which baffles me because kindness should be a universal thing we all give to each other.

I suppose I shouldn't have any expectations, but considering Leo talks about some pretty high level personal development work. I'm surprised this many people who think like this are attracted to this side of the forum. What's ironic though is members such as @Emeraldhas the compassion to take much of her time in the day to help some of these misguided people(mostly males) to help explain the female side of things, but the majority of the times it's combated with hatred or very ignorant opinions. Challenging a viewpoint is one thing, but flat out attacking someone for their view is just silly.

Calling women derogatory names as well is not cool. I feel like a good portion of these people never actually had a genuine friendship or relationship with a women before. At least never had this before without the intent to sleep with them or something completely selfish that is driving their motives for the friendship in the first place.

Edited September 9, 2021 by Nos7algiK

[Vzdoh]

4 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

Another thing which i would like improved here is whenever you think someone is wrong then explain to them why they are wrong. You are wrong/biased etc is not enough, an explanation of why they are so would be more useful.  Do you really expect a super stubborn person to understand it all by himself without any guidance? I noticed it in the girls want traditional man thread that was locked, not a good job was done to explain the OP why he was biased and wrong.

I didn't even reply anything in that post cause it was quite obvious that OP came to the forum to prove to himself his own point, not to self inquire about validity of his point of view. It's like a shut door. Why would anyone attempt to know on it if it close for good? 

[Gesundheit2]

16 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

My experience of life so far:

• I've been spending all my week-ends in the clubs from age 17 to 21 without having sex with anyone met there. Though, to be fair, I got sexually abused after being intoxicated with drugs and alcohol. But I'm sure we agree this doesn't count...
• I have been in a relationship with the same person for most of my 20s. Actually, to be precise since I've turned 22. So that whole cock carrousel bullshit is totally foreign to me.

How relieving does it feel to know that you fit into coca's standards for a datable woman? Be honest 

[Etherial Cat]

13 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

How relieving does it feel to know that you fit into coca's standards for a datable woman? Be honest 

At 31, I'm surely an old hag, please.  Coca is not interested in being my beta cuck provider... 

Edited September 9, 2021 by Etherial Cat

[Preety_India]

30 minutes ago, Nos7algiK said:

Challenging a viewpoint is one thing, but flat out attacking someone for their view is just silly.

This phenomenon is something that I observed often in this section of the forum. Instead of disagreeing with someone on their views, the focus was too much on discouraging and attacking a person by making a series of personal attacks. I find it very low conscious because to me it signifies personal prejudice and low key ad hominem. 

 

[Gesundheit2]

1 minute ago, Etherial Cat said:

At 31, I'm surely an old hag, please. 

But at least, you've probably earned his blessing. Now you can finally live a happy shameless life.

[aurum]

@Tangerinedream

Thanks for calling attention to this, it needed to be said. The language on this forum can get out of control.

Excessive language is just a symptom of someone’s world view. So it would pay for us to check our biases in that regard. How might our beliefs be affecting the way we speak?

[SLuxy]

1.

Well said.

However, the buck stops with the moderators, and Leo.

The forum is a system. The vulgar language, and individually problematic users are symptoms of said system.

Therefore, the way the forum works must be changed.

Regarding change, Leo's response above is encouraging.

2.

I will add. The nature of the forum is generally competitive, not collaborative.

Some topics that are brought are, no doubt, not worthy of a reply. Or possibly worthy of condemnation.

However, it is not right that all controversial questions posed be met with attack. One of Coca's recent posts was met with attack by various members, including Leo. However, the chap was quite reasonable when he felt understood, and was willing to change his mind.

There is one specific change I'd like to see. However, I won't speak on it, right now.

Edited September 9, 2021 by SLuxy

[soos_mite_ah]

1 hour ago, Nos7algiK said:

Also, men only wants a women with a nice figure and if he sees someone like this he will want to sleep with her no mater what. Both sexes are guilty of holding warped views of the opposite sex, but men here generally tend to hold warped views about both sexes.

Honestly, I feel like more guys and red pillers are likely to pass on the rhetoric on how men only want women who have nice figure and that they would cheat on the drop of a hat if they see someone else they like so you better do everything you can to lock him down. I feel like most women do recognize there is an emotional component to attraction and they are less likely to perpetuate that myth while still being cognizant of how looks can impact first impressions and the way you're treated. Whereas a  lot of the more toxic men on here paint the emotional aspect of attraction as flowery nonsense and self delusion. 

Edited September 9, 2021 by soos_mite_ah

[Striving for more]

Listen bitch puta madre mother fucker eat my saussage homie. 

[Gesundheit2]

24 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

the emotional aspect of attraction as flowery nonsense and self delusion. 

You have no idea what freedom lies in this realization. The emotional aspect is precisely flowery nonsense and self delusion because I have experienced it and come out to the other side, not because only women experience it. Men experience it too, e.g. nice guys. I could never fall back to that emotional attachment state again. It's inferior and pathetic, to say the least.

[Etherial Cat]

33 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

But at least, you've probably earned his blessing. Now you can finally live a happy shameless life.

Sure! Because having the blessing of a red piller I've briefly met on an online forum is that important to me. 

Maybe if I find one old enough I could entertain a virtual relationship with him in here for your non sense to be complete? 

3 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Honestly, I feel like more guys and red pillers are likely to pass on the rhetoric on how men only want women who have nice figure and that they would cheat on the drop of a hat if they see someone else they like so you better do everything you can to lock him down. I feel like most women do recognize there is an emotional component to attraction and they are less likely to perpetuate that myth while still being cognizant of how looks can impact first impressions and the way you're treated. Whereas a  lot of the more toxic men on here paint the emotional aspect of attraction as flowery nonsense and self delusion. 

Red pilers also be like: "How dare women be as shallow as I am?!".  

Of course, the red pill is just the fruit of their own projection and distorted worldview. They are the selfish, materialistic, status obsessed and loveless users they abhorre. That's also the thing that make it so disturbing and sad.

 

[Jacob Morres]

42 minutes ago, SLuxy said:

Some topics that are brought are, no doubt, not worthy of a reply. Or possibly worthy of condemnation.

However, it is not right that all controversial questions posed be met with attack. One of Coca's recent posts was met with attack by various members, including Leo.

this is true 

I think this requires a higher level of communication this is forum wide 

Edited September 9, 2021 by Jacob Morres