didnt understand Leo's episode about people pleasing

[Daniel347]

i don't understand, please explain to me what should I do.
so in the video Leo says go eat to a restaurant alone, enjoy yourself, i don't really get it. Well , the restaurant example is ok, I myself enjoy traveling and eating alone ( and i feel much better when im alone),  but some activities are just not possible without other people or a hundred times less ednjoyable. If i call my friend to play some online games (playing alone in which is just not possible ) is it ok or what? also last week i was feeling emotionally bad, what i did is i talked with my friend and that was the thing that made me feel much better(and not something about trying to enjoy myself etc). Also if you do things alone you wont be happy simply because communicating and doing stuff with others is vital for your survival.
Please understand that i don't say Leo's point is wrong. I think i just either didnt get the episode right or im missing something... please help (and sorry for my bad english:)

[Human Mint]

But, as the title says, people pleasing is a different thing, right?

[itachi uchiha]

The ideas in the video  does not solve my immediate loneliness problem.it may work after many months and years.but right now the video is not enough.i need techniques for solving loneliness

Edited September 7, 2021 by itachi uchiha

[Emir]

When you "feel alone", do not identify yourself with the emotional feelings that occur in your body and the thoughts that arise in your mind. Stop resisting the state you are in and labeling that state with words and concepts like "loneliness", "pain", "boredom" etc.

Imagine a child talking in your head who has the power to make you feel those emotions. Imagine yourself watching that child from behind. You are not that child, just observe. You can not solve your problems within duality, because there is always a tradeoff. Only solution is to raise your baseline awareness so you can catch that child everytime it speaks and pokes you with his stick. That resistance occuring in you is literally the child resisting the Absolute Love so it can exist.

 

 

Edited September 7, 2021 by Emir

[itachi uchiha]

@Emir u mean like witnessing thoughts in vipasana

[SLuxy]

Perhaps, try Shinzen Young's 'Do nothing' meditation.

I've found such relief with it recently.

[Daniel347]

1 hour ago, Emir said:

When you "feel alone", do not identify yourself with the emotional feelings that occur in your body and the thoughts that arise in your mind. Stop resisting the state you are in and labeling that state with words and concepts like "loneliness", "pain", "boredom" etc.

Imagine a child talking in your head who has the power to make you feel those emotions. Imagine yourself watching that child from behind. You are not that child, just observe. You can not solve your problems within duality, because there is always a tradeoff. Only solution is to raise your baseline awareness so you can catch that child everytime it speaks and pokes you with his stick. That resistance occuring in you is literally the child resisting the Absolute Love so it can exist.

 

 

sounds like just trying to bullshit myself into feeling good. it doesn't change anything 

[r0ckyreed]

Rewatch episode or rewatch specific sections and take notes. What was communicated there was way more radical than what I am hearing from you.

He is essentially teaching you how to biohack your brain to give you intrinsic happiness. Rewatch it. I did.

[Danioover9000]

@Daniel347

11 hours ago, Daniel347 said:

i don't understand, please explain to me what should I do.
so in the video Leo says go eat to a restaurant alone, enjoy yourself, i don't really get it. Well , the restaurant example is ok, I myself enjoy traveling and eating alone ( and i feel much better when im alone),  but some activities are just not possible without other people or a hundred times less ednjoyable. If i call my friend to play some online games (playing alone in which is just not possible ) is it ok or what? also last week i was feeling emotionally bad, what i did is i talked with my friend and that was the thing that made me feel much better(and not something about trying to enjoy myself etc). Also if you do things alone you wont be happy simply because communicating and doing stuff with others is vital for your survival.
Please understand that i don't say Leo's point is wrong. I think i just either didnt get the episode right or im missing something... please help (and sorry for my bad english:)

   The simplest way to put it to you, is to be 100% responsible for your loneliness, and understand that you make yourself happy, not people, or other places. I don't need much from people, nor do I need to travel much, because I can be happy in my solitude, while also can go and interact with people. But without dependence on people and places. I cwn rely on myself. This is the thinking pattern and feeling you want to feel like, very independent in yourself.

   How Leo got there, is radical for most people, including self actualizers. A lot of contemplating, research, reading, and so on. Taking back your sovereignty will take time, because of how interconnected it is with deep topics like spirituality, epistemology, metaphysics, psychology and so on. So always good to re watch and note take, and contemplate if stuck.

[hyruga]

Next episode: The root solution to Self Pleasing.

 

Or rather, self delusion.

Edited September 8, 2021 by hyruga

[something_else]

The point of the video isn't to become a hermit, you should still try and cultivate some meaningful relationships. The point is that you should not be completely dependant on maintaining and controlling these relationships for your happiness

[gettoefl]

you can live out your allotted three score and ten years on this planet perfectly blissfully alone

 you only came here for one reason and the 1-person universe is perfect

partner and / or friends is nice to have but not have to have

when you have done what you came here to do, then go do stuff

 

Edited September 8, 2021 by gettoefl

[hamedsf]

It's not like that you think.

stopping people pleasing behaviors is still something and socializing is another. don't confuse those stuff. you can socialize, make friends and enlarge your circle without people pleasing behaviors. 

and we can't say that you don't need any human being because you're a person and you're limited and you still need some people in circle to feel good but don't be attached to them so that when you're alone you feel down in the dump.