How to build a very strong work ethic?

[john1]

My work ethic right now is absolutely horrible. I go and sit down to do my online school works and my mind wanders and ends up watching cat videos on youtube somehow. I know building a strong work ethic is really important and I hype myself up, but I get so lazy and demotivated the second the rubber hits the road and I start doing anything. It could be doing schoolwork, doing some of the LP course, taking notes on Leo's videos, reading, etc. I spend so much time watching stupid youtube videos that it's insane. I procrastinate, and I'm lazy, even though I know it's bad for me. I dream up so much amazing stuff that I'm going to do the next day, but I always end up wasting my time and doing basically nothing all day. Has anybody gone through the same problem, and could you help me? Any tips, videos, courses, or books would be appreciated. Thanks.

[Albert Roiterstein]

I know that feeling. Great topic! And very important one you may think, doing the things that we know that are important to us, well. Because focus is the #1 requirement for good performance at anything (read Daniel Goleman: Focus if interested to know more).

Practice sitting there where you need to study, and completely ignoring all impulses to do anything else besides what you've set your mind to do.
Pre requisite, know about Stoicism, and watch Gladiator, 300 (have the mindset of stillness and I don't need nothing to do well, except a chug of water and a bit of food here and there, I DON'T NEED ANYTHING!). This way you're transmitting to your (more primitive parts of the) brain that this is important to do. The less trained you are at this the more your mind will be wandering away, but the more you practice it, you will find joy in being still and in a trance of focus and concentration and knowing that I DON'T NEED ANYTHING BESIDES WHAT'S INFRONT OF ME RIGHT NOW (Remember Marcus Aurelius: Focus on what's in front of you, like a Roman).

Notice the joy in doing less things better - It's a form of meditation, performing the tasks at hand in focus, doing them well, no matter how boring they can be. And it's also a muscle, like in meditation, when you sit and do nothing at first your brain becomes crazy (starts giving you all kinds of ideas and perhaps even making you anxious). But, the more you practice it the more you strengthen that mindset of focus, at some progress of training the voices in your mind quiet, and you're able to just observe things, and make out the meaning you want - only if you chose to make that meaning, because you're in full control over your mind, the impulses quiet because you're in control.

It's a crucial topic and let me know if you have further questions buddy!

[Preety_India]

Watching cat videos lol. I do the same, just that I don't regret watching. 

Don't be too harsh on yourself. Some enjoyment is fine, as long as it's refreshing to the brain. Try to schedule your time. Keep a check on what things you spend your time on. Note down those things in a notepad right the moment you catch yourself doing those things, that will serve as a reminder that you are distracting yourself, once you catch yourself doing something on the spot you'll have a better way of sorting your time, assign specific times for specific time periods and stick to those timings. Keep separate time for activities that you enjoy like watching cat videos and that way you won't feel guilty. Watch motivational videos to uplift your mood early in the morning and get yourself going. Gradually cut down your time on distractions. Note down things that consume your time unproductively and don't repeat them again or catch yourself doing them. Then set reminders every time you are engaged in these activities. 

 

[john1]

@Albert Roiterstein @Preety_India

5 hours ago, Albert Roiterstein said:

It's a crucial topic and let me know if you have further questions buddy!

I do have some more questions. I always try to sit down and focus on what I need to do and say, "okay for the next 1-2 hours I'll only do this one thing." But It almost never turns out like that. I sit down really really motivated, and then I look at what I need to do and do it well for 30 minutes. Then I convince myself I need to go on a break or check some email or something. Then I go down a rabbit hole of youtube videos, movies, porn, youtube shorts, and generally doing stupid shit on my phone and laptop. A lot of times I'm conscious of what I need to do while I'm doing all that stupid stuff. I know I need to do some work or do something productive, but my body has a mind of its own. And on the rare occasion that my willpower wins over what I'm doing, I sit down, open some books or some video in the LP course, and I'm just hit with this wave of resistance and I just feel paralyzed by it. when I push through it, I do get some good stuff done, but I can't push through it every time. Every single day I use my willpower and sit down to focus, and actually do the work and have a productive day, there are 5 other days where I don't do that and I procrastinate the whole day long. It's very frustrating, because I have 2-3 good weeks of doing good work, and then one day I just fall off it and go back to my old ways when I thought I was done with them for good. I know you're right when you say this stuff is a muscle and you have to train it, but what do I do if I can't even sit down to train it? Are there things that can help me improve my focus/concentration to do work? I notice that I can't really on my willpower all the time. Is it all just brute willpower and strength? Are there techniques or habits that can help (I'm already doing meditation and concentration btw (more than a month strong))? And when I do build up the muscle of sitting down, concentrating/focusing, and doing my work, how do I increase the time that I do my work? Thanks.

4 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Don't be too harsh on yourself. Some enjoyment is fine, as long as it's refreshing to the brain.

The problem is that it's not just "some" enjoyment, it's a full-time job's worth of enjoyment time. I waste way, way, way too much time. I have 0 discipline and it really ruins a lot of stuff. It's like I have this beast or fire inside me that wants to accomplish all the greatest stuff, work 100 hour work weeks, conquer the world, etc., but it doesn't know where the hell it should be going. I have no direction, no clarity, no disciple, lots of addictions, and a monkey mind that refuses to shut up. I try to build a work ethic and it goes well for a few months at most, then in one day it just crashes down. I did this maybe 5 times in the past. I even do it with the LP course: I got stuck on those values assessments a month without making progress. I redid the whole LP course a second time from the start, but I got to the values assessment and I got farther, but now I feel like it's repeating itself and I going to be stuck on it again.

4 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Watch motivational videos to uplift your mood early in the morning and get yourself going.

My discipline is so bad that I even take getting motivated too far. I wanted to watch the rocky movies because I thought they would inspire me, and they did, but it's not really productive to watch 3 of them in one sitting now is it. Even though I got motivated as shit with the training montage in Rocky IV, what did it do for me? I wasted that entire day "getting motivated," only for nothing to change the next day. It's all repeating itself. I did this in the past with self-help. I would watch a bunch of Thomas Frank, get motivated to be productive, and do nothing, or if I did do something it would be negligible. Every time I try again the beast inside me gets hungrier and it gets stronger and stronger, but every time I fail, the pain of it also gets stronger and stronger. I am making progress every time I try and fail, but it gets really frustrating and demotivating when I do fail. How do I break out of this cycle that I'm in? It has to be more than just brute force willpower, right? Am I missing something? Am I just overcomplicating/overthinking all this?

Thanks for your help.

[Human Mint]

Have you read "mastery" by Robert Greene? In my case it clarified a lot, plus the LP course.

Basically you are struggling because you don't have a tangible purpose, one that is very apealing to your heart. The amount of work you put into something depends in the value it has for you.

If you hate school it doesn't matter how much you try to develop a strong workethic, you'll just keep failing again and again.

Consider all of this.

The techniques you use to call willpower into action just to sit and do particular task are good as well, in my opinion.

Edited September 7, 2021 by Human Mint

[Albert Roiterstein]

On 9/7/2021 at 3:40 PM, john1 said:

@Albert Roiterstein @Preety_India

I do have some more questions. I always try to sit down and focus on what I need to do and say, "okay for the next 1-2 hours I'll only do this one thing." But It almost never turns out like that. I sit down really really motivated, and then I look at what I need to do and do it well for 30 minutes. Then I convince myself I need to go on a break or check some email or something. Then I go down a rabbit hole of youtube videos, movies, porn, youtube shorts, and generally doing stupid shit on my phone and laptop. A lot of times I'm conscious of what I need to do while I'm doing all that stupid stuff. I know I need to do some work or do something productive, but my body has a mind of its own. And on the rare occasion that my willpower wins over what I'm doing, I sit down, open some books or some video in the LP course, and I'm just hit with this wave of resistance and I just feel paralyzed by it. when I push through it, I do get some good stuff done, but I can't push through it every time. Every single day I use my willpower and sit down to focus, and actually do the work and have a productive day, there are 5 other days where I don't do that and I procrastinate the whole day long. It's very frustrating, because I have 2-3 good weeks of doing good work, and then one day I just fall off it and go back to my old ways when I thought I was done with them for good. I know you're right when you say this stuff is a muscle and you have to train it, but what do I do if I can't even sit down to train it? Are there things that can help me improve my focus/concentration to do work? I notice that I can't really on my willpower all the time. Is it all just brute willpower and strength? Are there techniques or habits that can help (I'm already doing meditation and concentration btw (more than a month strong))? And when I do build up the muscle of sitting down, concentrating/focusing, and doing my work, how do I increase the time that I do my work? Thanks.

The problem is that it's not just "some" enjoyment, it's a full-time job's worth of enjoyment time. I waste way, way, way too much time. I have 0 discipline and it really ruins a lot of stuff. It's like I have this beast or fire inside me that wants to accomplish all the greatest stuff, work 100 hour work weeks, conquer the world, etc., but it doesn't know where the hell it should be going. I have no direction, no clarity, no disciple, lots of addictions, and a monkey mind that refuses to shut up. I try to build a work ethic and it goes well for a few months at most, then in one day it just crashes down. I did this maybe 5 times in the past. I even do it with the LP course: I got stuck on those values assessments a month without making progress. I redid the whole LP course a second time from the start, but I got to the values assessment and I got farther, but now I feel like it's repeating itself and I going to be stuck on it again.

My discipline is so bad that I even take getting motivated too far. I wanted to watch the rocky movies because I thought they would inspire me, and they did, but it's not really productive to watch 3 of them in one sitting now is it. Even though I got motivated as shit with the training montage in Rocky IV, what did it do for me? I wasted that entire day "getting motivated," only for nothing to change the next day. It's all repeating itself. I did this in the past with self-help. I would watch a bunch of Thomas Frank, get motivated to be productive, and do nothing, or if I did do something it would be negligible. Every time I try again the beast inside me gets hungrier and it gets stronger and stronger, but every time I fail, the pain of it also gets stronger and stronger. I am making progress every time I try and fail, but it gets really frustrating and demotivating when I do fail. How do I break out of this cycle that I'm in? It has to be more than just brute force willpower, right? Am I missing something? Am I just overcomplicating/overthinking all this?

Thanks for your help.

Okay, this might not be for everyone (Not safe for women). But I do have a way. This might feel a bit abstract but if you stick until the end and think it through it will make sense.

You know what you need to do with your neo-cortex (your more advanced part of the brain, the one that forms your character, rational thinking, formulating complex ideas, and the ability to control your limbic brain, impulses - this is especially the part that is a muscle in everyone, SELF CONTROL), yet your limbic brain has plans of its own - it's much more primitive and it is working by more primitive stimulus-response relationships, classic conditioning, and constant threat seeking (in a way it might even think that if you focus on something that is important to you it will be threatening because then you might succeed and you will stick your head out of the masses and be a target - the limbic primitive brain has its own ways of taking care of you, it doesn't care about you being happy, all it cares about is you surviving).

In a way, what governs whether you chase primitive impulses, or whether you focus on what is important to you, depends on who's more in control (this is the training part of it) - your neo-cortex, or your limbic (primitive) brain.

The ability to control your limbic brain, I think, is crucial, a lot of it is done by language and communication (language is primarily processed by the neo cortex); for example, labeling to yourself a negative feeling that you have has the tendency to reduce that negative feeling because this shifts the activity in your brain to the neo-cortex away from the limbic system, the other one is conditioning of the control your mind has over the limbic brain, so strengthening that connection is key. I do have a way, but this might not be a way for women, but it works in the more extreme cases like yours: Try to give your primitive limbic brain a voice of it's own, and make it with a bit comical tone (not like a demanding tone : I NEED THIS !! OR I WANT TO FUCK MY HAND NOW !! etc but give it a comic tone to all of it, i.e. reduce the caps in your mind and give it an italic font, this will make those primitive thoughts less dominant and less demanding in your head), mostly up until today those thoughts are running on auto-pilot for you so you don't even notice them, but if you give them this comical voice, you'll certainly start to notice them (noticing is the first step).

And then you need to strengthen the voice that is your rational thinking, the one that is about self control, and doing good things for humanity, and doing the right things when needed, give it a sound and loud confident voice (you can model that voice out of someone you truly admire in real life - and perhaps integrate it with your own real STRONG voice), this voice will be the father figure and the one that takes care of your life and does everything well because it's in the zone (up to best of what's humanly possible - if it's humanly possible - then it's possible for you too).

Then everything you do you're going to play this game where you don't just notice the desire to do an impulse, but you actually talk that impulse to yourself in the comical voice we talked about above, and then you actually respond to that comical voice with your real strong rational voice when the rational voice is the dominant and the demanding voice, think about your comical voice being the slave of your strong voice, like actually imaging your rational voice being the tyrant and your comical voice is the slave.

And if your comical voice isn't listening (like you might think it's listening, but the impulsive feeling is still there) then you are going to punish that comical voice (primitive part of the brain) by making yourself feeling uncomfortable in a way (my favorite way: closing windows and any air entry to a point where it's quite hard for me to breathe and I need to regulate my breathing to stay calm, my primitive mind understands who is in control, of course I still monitor everything that is going on in my body, and I only do it until my mind is focused so that I can then open windows again as long as I'm focused). However, do this intelligently and still in a loving way, where you still let yourself know (and your comical brain) that you are the father figure of yourself and you actually know how to take care of yourself and not your primitive brain (your primitive brain is really just a lame poor bastard slave of yours), and that you wouldn't let yourself die using this but you're only using this to gain self control over the primitive brain. Developing self discipline through running or doing physically challenging stuff works but the thing is that we are working here on self-discipline when sitting and needing to do things which the primitive brain thinks are boring and unimportant.

So if you think about it, if your mind is wandering in different directions, it is doing that because the primitive brain thinks that what you're doing is not important (which doesn't mean that it's true, same way like you don't have to fuck your hand or don't have to kill someone when he's swearing you - it's primitive), and it thinks that it has no consequences doing that, if you were in a physically demanding situation (let's say tactically fighting a terrorist organization), your brain will have to be 200% in the zone and completely focused to do what it has to do, so in certain ways the best way is to get physical with the brain to let it understand that something is important (yet still doing it in a loving and caring way towards oneself, letting you know that your rational voice is the father figure of yourself, and you are able to take care of yourself).

And also remember, a lot of it is really by doing less things better (you might have a lot of tasks, but when doing one task, do only that well - this will remove the clouds from the brain and improve your self esteem and feeling of self worth). Practice doing less things better. 

You also have to understand that you need to find your purpose, and if you were to find your purpose then you're in the zone automatically. So while you're looking for that purpose and meaning in your life, try using this getting physical with the brain hack.

I know this is will power focused. Try reading psycho-cybernetics for not pure will power focus but rather working on the unconscious so that it will work for you.

Reprogramming your unconscious is what will automatically make it not be pure will power, but sometimes, you need will-power to reprogram it