Addiction or Not Addiction?

[Stratos]

Good evening everybody,

I'll try to make this as short and simple as possible. I am an addict, I know I am an addict due to the behaviour I produce when I am around my drug or think about my drug. I have been a heavy Cannabis smoker for over 4 years now non stop. I recently left my hometown and moved abroad and I stopped for 15 days. However, I am back on the same habit but with 1/3 of the consumption, I used to do. The thing is that when I say I am an addict I can accept it but when I feel myself "stuck" in the internal now the word just disappears. I feel I am not an addict and I just project this label onto myself to build my ego or my self-image.  I really don't know what to believe or with what actions to proceed. I love cannabis and want it in my life, but is this the addict me talking and the right word is not "want" but "need"? 

Thank you in advance for your time,

- Stratos

Edited September 6, 2021 by Stratos
I will make another Topic for the Wrong Life Choices

[Roy]

4 hours ago, Stratos said:

I love cannabis and want it in my life, but is this the addict me talking and the right word is not "want" but "need"? 

Yes @Stratos! These are the right questions to ask! Sit on this and try to answer anything that comes up, and if more questions come up, follow those too.

So, trying your best to strip any labels down. What do you feel (not think) the answer is; Do you want cannabis because it makes you feel great, positive, and excited to do it? Or do you just need to do it because it's something you're used to and you don't know how you might fill the gap if it wasn't there?

You see habits are like grooves in the Earth that rivers flow down. In order to change a habit you have to either slowly make new grooves to divert that water into a healthier path, or REALLY bite the bullet to work to quickly make a damn to radically redirect the water.

Experiment with both these approaches and go with the one that produces more results for you and your goals.

[SLuxy]

Ultimately, all labels are artificial. Therefore, your label of being an addict is artificial.

I'll be frank. You don't love cannabis, nor do you need cannabis. You need what cannabis gives you.

What does it give you? It gives you an escape from your ordinary state of consciousness. You are addicted to escaping from your ordinary state of consciousness.

I'd advise you try, 'Do-nothing' meditation. See Shinzen Young's and the Actualized.org videos on YouTube.

You may then see your thoughts for what they are. I like to think of my thoughts as a 6th sense.

[hamedsf]

any kind of addiction is pure escapism, go head-on with the bitter-sweet life. it has a hidden massage that you need to take a bold action in your life in order to change it in your own favor and desire.  

[RickyFitts]

On 07/09/2021 at 1:44 AM, SLuxy said:

What does it give you? It gives you an escape from your ordinary state of consciousness. You are addicted to escaping from your ordinary state of consciousness.

Yes, this is the key thing to understand - this is what's at the root of addiction.

And there's no judgment in this, because understand this: We are all addicted to something, it's how we humans cope with life. 

The question is, at what point are you no longer content to simply cope with life? At what point are you willing to stop and face that from which you've spent your whole life running?

(Like the avatar by the way, SLuxy - I was thinking about rewatching 'Schindler's List' the other day, amazing film.)

[SLuxy]

@RickyFitts Thanks! Fascinating film. Oskar Schindler was a great man.

Also, I echo the non-judgment.

[RickyFitts]

@SLuxy A truly remarkable guy, yeah.

[The0Self]

Whatever you desire. Feel like moving on? Giving up? One subtle tweak is that the giving up is actually the giving up of the habit which is causing you suffering. Or, you could just allow the addiction to be itself.

[ActuallyConfused]

I too asked myself similar questions. I recognized that identifying as an addict was feeding my ego into believing I was one. I realized that my struggle with cannabis lasted only as long as I believed I was hooked. When I dropped the labels I placed on myself, and identified the behavior for how it made me feel, I noticed it was purely escapism. Addict or not, if you're experience is anything like mine, then your attachment to this drug is probably filling some void, masking your fears of doing more with your life by making you content with not doing something greater with your time. Let go of the idea that you're stuck, pay close attention to your feelings, and I'm sure you'll notice a positive improvement in your life after the withdrawals subside.

[Egzoset]

So, that's where it goes hiding now...

 

Well, for starters there's 2 ends to the so-called cannabis "ADDICTION" tube and those at the other end want all things cannabis to vanish from reality, so lets not wait for any assistance from such socio-toxic people as this would prove being wasted time & efforts for real.

 

The good news is if your brain was clever enough to learn systematic consumption abuse models then, perhaps, maybe...  Who knows, i'd be even tempted to bet now you can teach yourself health-wise profiles too.  It depends on so many variables, not to mention friends and environment(s).  But it's not impossible, at least i can personally offer my testimony about switching sides and still being an enthousiast cannabis fan, though mine used to taste better and now that i've defined my ideal tool that prospect has been "legaly" erased, except in my own rememberances.  Nonetheless i once doubted i could adapt this far at my age and yet i have, so it seems to me it's not about age, not even neuro-plasticity when applied in the usual assymetric/twisted/distorted sense depicted in bigot prohibitionist propaganda.  E.G. no friends among those who care more for their own image, etc.

 

Good day, have fun!! 

Edited September 12, 2021 by Egzoset

[ActuallyConfused]

@Egzoset I'm happy that legal weed is becoming more prominent. I can't promise that I won't ever indulge in it again. I've had a few months clean of weed, and indulged for a night. However, I indulged mindfully, and noticed that it was not a favorable state, at least for me. This is coming from someone who habitually smoked dusk till dawn, skipped breakfast, before and after every meal, before and after every event, for nearly 8 years.

I respect the position that it's possible to smoke responsibly, in a controlled manner. I've had several months clean, relapsed for a night of indulgence, and mindfully noticed that I found myself in a less favorable state then being sober. I'm not swearing off weed. I'll probably smoke again at some point. I just recognize that it produces a suboptimal state of mind for me. It leaves me couch-bound, lazy, and content with not pursuing life forthrightly.

If @Stratos  is contemplating whether or not they are addicted, I'm purely recommending getting some distance from the substance to get a clearer vision of how the substance actually effects you. My girlfriend swore it helped with her stomach problems: she was sick all the time, threw up most mornings, anxiety and thoughts of being crazy, headaches. She used weed to help, because our culture says it helps with those things (and perhaps it does for some people) but after she quit, those symptoms vanished. 15 days is a relatively small amount of time to experience what sobriety can deliver. 15 days in to quitting weed, I was still having wild dreams/nightmares, anxiousness, boredom. Even 30 days wasn't a good judge of a sober experience. Really take the time to discover yourself without weed (or weed thoughts) entering your mind, and then by all means, experiment again if you feel comfortable. But consume mindfully. If you notice you're using it to mask some uncomfortable emotion, then I suggest cutting it out and finding a new means to cope or resolve that emotion. If you can consume, and honestly introspect and discover a true peace with the behavior, then continue to smoke. Be curious, be mindful, and be your best!!!

[Arcangelo]

26

years

smoking weed over here

[Egzoset]

On 2021-09-12 at 8:13 PM, ActuallyConfused said:

I'll probably smoke again...

Give yourself a fair chance to walk another path if you feel tempted once more, so please consider that the consumption method does necessarily influence one's habit profile, eventually.