Going Astray: Im Still Allgood

[goldpower123]

So a while ago after tripping mushrooms I went on a personal spiritual journey. I glimpsed the "Truth" or God, but deep in my subconscious it has left like a whole, like a piece of my will went to the universe, or you could say "crossing over to the other side" where I am now more aware of the energies of the universe. It seems there are both higher realms and lower realms, the light realms are higher dimensions at the heart, closer to source, that pure metaphysical connection with reality, whatever word you want to use.. and the darker realms is the identification with the ego's false dream and the dark forces. But it's all God's dream, there is no where that God is not; all is imagination, and it can be something to toy with. 

Anyway I've been gradually backsliding for a while now, finding it hard to turn inward, I would force myself to try wake up to the point where I couldn't handle the Truth and would risk losing my mind, couldn't sleep for 2 nights and had to get medication. I admitted that I am not mature enough yet. My mind has taken control of me and I am suffering fear again like I did in my old life. I swear it has to do with the path you're on.

In my subconscious, or what feels like my central nervous system, I feel I have grown. And that cannot be undone. I can literally feel subtle energies that exist in this reality. It's regular stuff, shit that's been there my entire life, I'm just now more aware of it, something within me has changed and it's beautiful because I feel like in a sense I am God, even amidst suffering and fear, there is no where God is not. God is all alone, there is no right or wrong, and I have the freedom to be a devil and create my own meaning. 

I hope this is an accurate perspective and can anyone else relate with this?