How much persistence on one woman is enough? (Not on several women)

[The0Self]

On 9/5/2021 at 2:13 AM, charlie cho said:

Just.... I heard some people pursue one woman like 6 months. Some may live in that friendzone hell. Some may have been unsuccessfully flirting at her for 6- 16 months. I see that this do exists.

GOOD GOD

18 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

5-30 minutes is about right. Any more than that and you're showing her that you're a loser.

If she doesn't get attracted to you within 30 minutes, you've failed and it's time to move on. Realistically attraction takes 5-10 minutes to happen when a guy knows what he's doing.

That's more like it.

Sheesh...

 

Unless she's pursuing you -- then you decide.

If I'm being pursued, and I'm not looking for a relationship (which is almost always), then if they're successful it usually takes them no more than 3 days. Flip that around and conditionally you can pursue a woman for a few days -- she might just not be looking for a relationship -- the best type of woman (perhaps).

Edited September 7, 2021 by The0Self

[Leo Gura]

12 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

@Leo Gura The only issue i have with the typical attraction theory and hook points etc is that it is basically made for pick up in a club, bar, park etc. What about social circle, or meeting girls through work, university, common organisations etc. I met a lot of girls in this way as i am a student but does this still work? This hook point 30 minute stuff? What if you do not have the time to talk to them straight for 30 minutes but just a couple? 

Once you learn pickup, social circle is like fishing with dynamite.

You can just dial back the pace and go slower and softer in those social situation so as not to burn it to the ground. But if you see a girl you like you should be able to turn up the charm and get her hooked rather fast. Just be less aggressive than you would be in a club. It should never take long to get attraction. Of course not all girls will get attracted to you. You need to quickly see when attraction isn't happening and cut it off.

Developing a good eye of signs of attraction and hook-point is key. The biggest sign is when the girl can't stop locking eyes with you. Eye contact is like 50% of game. Another key sign is if she is willing to follow you physically around the room when you tell her to move with you. Another sign is if she's comfortable with you touching her body.

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura Thank you very much.

Unlike a lot of my guy friends i rarely get choosing signals from girls (indicators of interests etc) just by existing so i am trying to learn how to attract them using my personality instead of my appearance. Your input is helpful, thank you.

[diamondpenguin]

@charlie cho It's all about rapport, you gotta connect with people deep down. 

[charlie cho]

@Tudo noted, I won't chase girls unless she really wants me. 

[diamondpenguin]

@charlie cho It's counter-intuitive, you got it backwards. You gotta get her to chase you. You need to become a fountain of love for others, then you will have every girl in the world. Don't look at her as a sexual object, but as a human being with deep emotional and physical needs. Do you see? Can you see my dear friend?

Edited September 7, 2021 by diamondpenguin

[hamedsf]

basically It's pointless to chase her when she bombards you with multiple "no",  choose who chase u! 

[charlie cho]

@diamondpenguin It was a joke, you take it too seriously

[Leo Gura]

16 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

@Leo Gura Thank you very much.

Unlike a lot of my guy friends i rarely get choosing signals from girls (indicators of interests etc) just by existing so i am trying to learn how to attract them using my personality instead of my appearance. Your input is helpful, thank you.

You should not expect women to throw these indicators at you unless you man up and approach first.

Don't be lazy. Approach and stop second-guessing yourself or comparing yourself to other guys.

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura My issue is not approaching at all.  I have met a lot of girls and stuff, the issue lies with what happens after the approach, not with the approach itself. The advice you have given me regarding flirting escalation etc is the problem and i am actively trying to correct it, approaching is the easy part for me .  When i say by existing i mean when i act "normal" or "typical" instead of trying to use game on them.

 

[Leo Gura]

6 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

When i say by existing i mean when i act "normal" or "typical" instead of trying to use game on them.

You gotta bridge that gap so that being attractive (game) is just a natural part of who you are. This comes with practice. If your game is artificial and inauthentic then it's bad game. The best game doesn't look like an act.

What is artificial at first becomes natural after years of practice. Don't expect to be all natural early on.

[Ghartok Padhome]

On 9/7/2021 at 9:17 PM, diamondpenguin said:

@charlie cho It's counter-intuitive, you got it backwards. You gotta get her to chase you. You need to become a fountain of love for others, then you will have every girl in the world. Don't look at her as a sexual object, but as a human being with deep emotional and physical needs. Do you see? Can you see my dear friend?

Has that worked for you?

[Jacob Morres]

@Leo Gura I think instead of fake it until you make it you can also real it until it becomes fully manifested 

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura I hate faking shit though and being unauthentic. Is there a way to be yourself while getting results? I do not mind growing but being fake is so mehhhhh.

When i try to flirt it is very chill and relaxed, i am a chill laid back person, not a loud super energetic person. I just smile a lot, make jokes, speak slowly and look in eye. Being overly expressive and laughing out loud and stuff all the time is not my thing.

Chill stuff i prefer.

 

Edited September 20, 2021 by Karmadhi

[Jacob Morres]

@Karmadhi the Faking stuff comes off a bit off. Good confidence is not Faking 

[Karmadhi]

@Jacob Morres Well what do you suggest then? Be yourself-No results.  Act in a more attractive way-Not authentic so no results.

Be damned if you do, be damned if you dont.

[charlie cho]

@Karmadhi you seem emotional. Get level headed before thinking clearly and taking real decisions

Edited September 20, 2021 by charlie cho

[Void and soul]

9 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

@Jacob Morres Well what do you suggest then? Be yourself-No results.  Act in a more attractive way-Not authentic so no results.

Be damned if you do, be damned if you dont.

The point is that actinh in a more attractive way will be not authentic at the begin ing but will become authentic with time. Yes, this mean that you will fail a many times before it begins working. 

Another thing is that there is not a single way of being attractive, there are different styles. Look up for different people that are considered to have game and imitate the ones that appeal the most to you. 

[charlie cho]

2 hours ago, Void and soul said:

Another thing is that there is not a single way of being attractive, there are different styles. Look up for different people that are considered to have game and imitate the ones that appeal the most to you. 

I would like to add, part of learning is about "not" being ourselves because we need to change. 

[something_else]

Quote

When i try to flirt it is very chill and relaxed, i am a chill laid back person, not a loud super energetic person. I just smile a lot, make jokes, speak slowly and look in eye. Being overly expressive and laughing out loud and stuff all the time is not my thing.

Chill stuff i prefer.

 

8 minutes ago, charlie cho said:

I would like to add, part of learning is about "not" being ourselves because we need to change. 

@charlie cho @Karmadhi Yea, one of the biggest things I've had to deal with mentally is my mind telling me "oh this just isn't you, you're not a sociable person." Be especially careful what beliefs you have about what kind of person you are, they can be quite limiting.

I wouldn't consider myself loud or energetic either @Karmadhi but I do notice that when I'm having a good time I'm far more free flowing, loose and high energy than I would normally be. But that high energy would be awful in day to day life. It has a time and a place.