First nightgame trial - very sad

[Javfly33]

Went out tonight to approach sets with a couple of (relatively) newbies PUAS on a FULLY crowded street near pubs and bars.

We maybe did in total 15-20 (probably Will get a beating from Leo Lol), i did like 5 or 6 solo and then joined after on some of the openings of my fellas.

I am very sad because i felt completely awkard, weird, etc, (although when you bulld some momentum things started to feel. Bit better).

Im kind of meh since I did some cold approaching 5-6 years ago, in all this time supposedly i had grown a lot, have done some therapy, quite a number of trips, introspection etc...But this feeling of not being able to flow / be myself truly in front of a Girl IS STILL THERE 100% as strong as 5 years ago.

Honestly i have this feeling of not being able to relax/flow socially a lot of times when Im with groups (doesnt have to be Girls/approaches) although i tend to think its getting better there is still this Blockage that doesnt let me be myself ?

  How to break this Blockage for good?

[charlie cho]

With taking control of the situation with groups of people. This applies to both how much control you have with yourself and others. This sounds extremely corny but it's true. This is how you lead a social interaction effectively. If you don't have this, you will be the reactant, not the product. 

With control several people have different perspectives. More sensory types will think of control as political power over others. More intuitive people will think of influence, persuasion, and how much in the flow they are with the situation. Both are correct in my opinion. You say you have problems dealing with groups. I am advising specifically for this. 

I'm not a pick up artist by any nature. But I do consider myself to be well ingrained with taking control of groups and people. You need both people's respect and your own inner flow. You may have high status, (or perceived to have high status among your peers) but if you are seen without having any control of your state and self, people will immediately distrust you or conspire against you. You may have flow, easy going nature, non political, fun, natural, but if you have no perceived political status, maybe good natured people will not do anything with you, but certainly the more vile, calculating folks will take that advantage. So both are important, being with the flow with your surroundings and not staying in the way, but at the same time knowing how to command respect so petty people won't bother you with being in the flow. After all, what is life without being in the flow? 

Being natural is totally underrated. People don't understand how much being respectful, natural, and easy going can get you high amounts of respect. 

To be with the flow action steps: meditation, contemplation, loving, understanding what love is, being good 

To know how power dynamics work: study body language, read Machiavelli, read Confucius's Analects, read 48 laws of power, study frauds, study psycho political figures. 

Then again, I am in no way an expert in any of this. Currently, I don't hang around friends or people very much as I used to. It's been a long time that this has happened haha. But this is what I know about the subject you asked for: dealing with groups of people well. 

Edited September 5, 2021 by charlie cho

[Leo Gura]

7 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

We maybe did in total 15-20 (probably Will get a beating from Leo Lol), i did like 5 or 6 solo

That's a decent number given you're just starting the process.

Quote

I am very sad because i felt completely awkard, weird, etc, (although when you bulld some momentum things started to feel. Bit better).

Honestly i have this feeling of not being able to relax/flow socially a lot of times when Im with groups (doesnt have to be Girls/approaches) although i tend to think its getting better there is still this Blockage that doesnt let me be myself ?

  How to break this Blockage for good?

Here is where you deserve a beating.

Dude! WTF do you expect? 5-6 approaches, one night, and you are complaining about not being good? Get the fuck outta here. Nothing in life works this way. Go out every week for a whole year and then judge your results.

Pickup has a steep learning curve unlike almost anything else, so you're going to crash and burn for the first few months.

The action you took was good. Now do it again 100 more days and stop judging yourself and worrying. It will work if you work it and stop acting like a victim.

What's called for here is delusional self-confidence, not tearing yourself down.

[Windappreciator]

@Leo Gura

 

This guy is like you, leo.

[Leo Gura]

8 minutes ago, Windappreciator said:

@Leo Gura

 

This guy is like you, leo.

There are 2 basic secrets to getting women:

1) Location, location, location. Be where the women are.

2) Delusional levels of self-confidence

Boomhauer pretty much has it down In real life he would be sleeping with hundreds of women while you guys are here clowning around and whining.

The only thing worse than being Boomhauer is being Bobby. And you guys here are like Bobby. That's your whole problem in a nutshell.

[charlie cho]

@Leo Gura Spoke right through my soul. 

right. location location location. whatever it takes. money, making friends, gotta get that right. I've stopped going to bars and clubs. I wanted to meet other women, but it is hard to make this transition easily......gonna make it happen holding on to that advice

Edited September 5, 2021 by charlie cho

[Windappreciator]

@Leo Gura Some dating mechanics have a different form of magnetism, which seems to be worth it.

[Leo Gura]

A magnet only works when you put it real close to metal.

You can't be a pussy magnet sitting at home whining to yourself.

[Windappreciator]

@Leo Gura

Well what if you're not looking for metal, but another magnet. If any at all.

Edited September 5, 2021 by Windappreciator

[charlie cho]

I go to play billiards every day. Take lessons twice a week. The hard thing is I wanna talk with women that are there. They are often with their friends, and nobody talk with other groups... at least in my eyes. But for fuck's sake they are all wearing masks. It makes it harder to approach them. All I can do is talk to the waiter. My patience is wearing thin with this virus! Do I need to make double effort?

Edited September 5, 2021 by charlie cho

[mmKay]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

 

2) Delusional levels of self-confidence

I really like that concept. Tyler shot a whole vid on " Delusional levels of self confidence "

 

[Javfly33]

@Leo Gura Thanks , I wont be so hard with myself then ? you might have a point.

Good news i took action and i plan to go out regularly from now on ? instead of just doing a couple of times and quit It like i did in the past. 

Btw. What do you mean with delusional levels of self confidence? Feeling like a human embodied God around them?

Edited September 5, 2021 by Javfly33

[Onecirrus]

@Javfly33 I go out every night and rate every night 1000/10. Even if everyone hates you, rate your night 1000/10 or you'll just give up.

Also, you descend from a 4 billion year old bloodline of success and overcoming adversity! The elements of the cells that make up your very body were literally forged in the Heavens!(Cores of Stars!), so that means you are literally divinity! You are a literal SON OF GOD!!! To not have an infinite surplus of confidence is BLASPHEMY!!!

Listen to this with headphones once a day, it helps me.

 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, mmKay said:

I really like that concept. Tyler shot a whole vid on " Delusional levels of self confidence "

Be careful. It's a razor-sharp double-edged sword.

[Onecirrus]

@Leo Gura Its not as dangerous as the alternative

[charlie cho]

@Onecirrus both are two sides of the same coin. Coin being.... insecurity

Edited September 5, 2021 by charlie cho

[Bando]

@Javfly33 Great job man, this is what more people need to do instead of complaining about not getting laid. Leo had a great bathtub analogy about getting better at something. Imagine your trying to fill a bathtub with water, You going out and talking to many sets would be the equivalent of dumping a mug full of water into the tub, you sitting and reading theory without the intent of practicing it is like adding an eye drop of water into the tub.

Set your attention on meeting many women and practicing your calibration, social skills ect, to fill up the tub as quick as possible. When starting out your only metric should be to talk to x amount of chicks and add a number close statement, but don't make that your intention your only goal should be to vibe and bring good energy and calibrated. 

About the "delusion" aspect reframe it to entitlement, your mentality should be "who else has the balls to cold approach random women, she should feel lucky she has the chance to meet me" it's not something you logically think about its more of a feeling. It helps when your focused on making your life better via self-improvement that naturally gives you that entitlement mentality. You may piss some girls off with this attitude but thats fine leave with grace and go to the next set.

[charlie cho]

@Bando awesome motivational very.

I think when you have that delusional confidence.... women most women will frown and even scowl and mock at you, but if you are congruent, they will feel unconsciously drawn to you.

[Javfly33]

@Bando thanks ??

[Tudo]

5 minutes ago, charlie cho said:

@Bando awesome motivational very.

I think when you have that delusional confidence.... women most women will frown and even scowl and mock at you, but if you are congruent, they will feel unconsciously drawn to you.

My experience has shown it to be true.