Love Is Always Available

[Raptorsin7]

I struggled with understanding how love relates to meditation and awareness for a long time but I finally realized that love is always here and available. You always have the option to just love what is. 

I was listening to a bunch of different teachers, and I had a clear understanding of resting as awareness and most techniques related to simply being aware but I always felt stuck and thought was something was missing from these teachings. Once I realized that love is here it really tied a lot of things together. Now when I practice being aware I do in sort of two steps, I notice that there I am aware and bring that to the forefront of my attention, and then I just love. It's like a warm, soft feeling and its always possible to just love.

Just wanted to share because I struggled for so long not understanding how to love, even though I realized it was the most important step on the path for me. I'm still learning to love more parts of my self, but from here on i've realized that the answer to my problems is just to love everything and anything

[Alysssa]

Thank you for sharing! 

[peanutspathtotruth]

15 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I struggled with understanding how love relates to meditation and awareness for a long time but I finally realized that love is always here and available. You always have the option to just love what is. 

I was listening to a bunch of different teachers, and I had a clear understanding of resting as awareness and most techniques related to simply being aware but I always felt stuck and thought was something was missing from these teachings. Once I realized that love is here it really tied a lot of things together. Now when I practice being aware I do in sort of two steps, I notice that there I am aware and bring that to the forefront of my attention, and then I just love. It's like a warm, soft feeling and its always possible to just love.

Just wanted to share because I struggled for so long not understanding how to love, even though I realized it was the most important step on the path for me. I'm still learning to love more parts of my self, but from here on i've realized that the answer to my problems is just to love everything and anything

That's a beautiful insight! When in the "just being" orientation of meditation, which is the meditative stance I take as well (combined with contemplation), it has often happened to me, sometimes over the course of a few days or weeks, that I become more and more head-centered. In these cases, I started to feel that "I don't get it", that something is missing.

What has been helping me to ground that experience is 
1) to feel the body fully at all times, but not in a highly focused way, but rather in a sense of awareness engulfing all experience including the body, an expansiveness, an inclusiveness, and
2) to gently focus on the heart area. Just a few moments of that can open a door that I beforehand hadn't even noticed, and as soon as love is flowing, it deepens awareness in a spiralling, relaxing manner.

Also, I sometimes start a meditation just focusing on the heart space. That is often enough  

Edited September 4, 2021 by peanutspathtotruth

[Raptorsin7]

@Alysssa No problem thank you!

5 minutes ago, peanutspathtotruth said:

That's a beautiful insight! When in the "just being" orientation of meditation, which is the meditative stance I take as well (combined with contemplation), it has often happened to me, sometimes over the course of a few days or weeks, that I become more and more head-centered. In these cases, I started to feel that "I don't get it", that something is missing.

What has been helping me to ground that experience is 
1) to feel the body fully at all times, but not in a highly focused way, but rather in a sense of awareness engulfing all experience including the body, an expansiveness, an inclusiveness, and
2) to gently focus on the heart area. Just a few moments of that can open a door that I beforehand hadn't even noticed, and as soon as love is flowing, it deepens awareness in a spiralling, relaxing manner.

Also, I sometimes start a meditation just focusing on the heart space. That is often enough  

Yeah for me it's all about healing and integrating the emotional body at this point. I've known that i've had sexual repression and stomach issues for a while from my psychedelics' trips and those are the areas that need the most love. I like the charka map because it reflects what I feel in my meditations. Just last night I could feel almost a pulsing sensation moving from my lower back into my crown chakra. 

I actually don't feel anything in my heart center right now, but even when I put attention there I notice a instant sort of relaxation and an energetic unfolding start to occur.

Thanks a lot!

[peanutspathtotruth]

59 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I've known that i've had sexual repression and stomach issues for a while from my psychedelics' trips and those are the areas that need the most love.

I'm curious to hear more about this. These are blockages/patterns I'm working on, too, and there's a lot of healing that wants to take place. How have you found out about these "issues" as in how did you experience the insights into them? And how has your healing/loving process been so far? 

[Raptorsin7]

25 minutes ago, peanutspathtotruth said:

I'm curious to hear more about this. These are blockages/patterns I'm working on, too, and there's a lot of healing that wants to take place. How have you found out about these "issues" as in how did you experience the insights into them? And how has your healing/loving process been so far? 

So I started meditation about 5 years ago because Leo recommended in a video, I was doing a sam harris guided meditation for years but it was kind of mechanical and I didn't really understand the path. I got serious about the path in the fall of 2019, started posting on the forum and experimenting with psychedelics' and saw enlightenment as something achievable for myself.

I managed to have a peak experience after only a few solo psychedelic trips and that's what really opened me up. I was basically laying in my bed, and after a few hours of just listening to music and trying to process the complex emotions from the trip, I repeated a zgochen teaching I learned from Sam Harris, Look for yourself/ Be aware of being aware, and from repeating this I was able to quiet the mind and I had a sort of energetic unwinding, culminating in my attention going to the center of my head/behind the eyes and then my head kind of popped open/crown opened and I had an incredibly blissful and energizing experience. I realized that reality is all good, and I had never felt so incredible in my life. I've done probably 20-30 trips of LSD/shrooms since then but It was always a mystery to me how I reached this place so I've been kind of tracing my steps and trying to understand how i got there.

Following that trip It was very rough. I was doing trips, but I couldn't reach that same place and i ended up getting really depressed and suicidal because I felt so hopeless that I couldn't reach that same place again. I thought my life would be forever transformed, but even though I knew about how good life could be, i just wasn't living from that place and it was awful.

A big insight i got from my psychedelics' trips was I noticed that I would always get very horny on my good trips, and a lot of my trips involved overcoming deep nausea and vomitting. I actually can't look at a tab of LSD without gagging, and when I take psyche now there's a good chance I'll vomitt or experience severe nausea. But i also realized that the nausea can be sort of cleansed from your system if you go the root of the sensation. I've had experiences where I felt super nasuea on shrooms, and because I went deeper into the nausea and the sensations of headache in the head, I found a sort of energetic hotspot and when I felt into the hot spot it felt like the suffering/nausea got completely wiped from my system. Almost like a computer getting debugged. 

I've had stomach issues my whole life and I never really understood them, but I knew they were related to suffering and unhappiness. I never really bought into materialist paradigms around what causes stomach issues. Right now I can literally feel a discomfort in my stomach, but I haven't given too much attention to just loving my stomach sensations, but I will moving forward. 

I also realized that uncovering my sexuality was a big way to relieve suffering for myself. On my trips when I'd get very nauseous, I realized that one of the only things that worked to help alleivate the suffering, aside from vomitting, was to feel into my horniness and let it out. It's like being horny was the cure for my headaches haha, so it felt better to watch porn or something then just sit here in agony from the headache. I have to work on this too, my family is entirely sexually represeed, I was thinking the other day that I actually have never seen any sign of horniess from my mom or dad, and I actually thought my parents never had sex until I was like 20 and realized they probably did it in secret. I think the key here is just to create space for sexual feelings, and thens tart to love accept them as they arise.

I also realized that my nasal congestion was related to my spiritual blockage. I am someone who always has kind of a stuffed nose, and I never cry. But on my good trips it literally feels like somoene is breaking my nose, which is probably my sinuses getting cleared out, and the end result is feeling way better and a full perceptual shift in how I view reality. I also noticed that vomitting helped clear my nose but so far I haven't cleared it fully without psychidelics.

Interestingly, during my best trips my nasal passage become so clear it felt like I was breathing bliss clearly into my being from the entire univerise. It was like I had tubes flowing into my being from everywhere, and when I would breathe it was fully of bliss haha.

Sorry it's disorganized but I just wanted to lay out as much as I could. Feel free to ask for clarification on any point

[peanutspathtotruth]

@Raptorsin7 Thank you so much for sharing! ?? Very fascinating how your path seems to unfold. I see some parallels to what I've been experiencing in the past years. So good to realize how we're all on this beautiful road together. 

A good friend of mine permanently cured his life long sinus issue on his first ever mushroom trip which was like 5 years ago. It's just gone. Even though it might not be completely gone for you, I think these experiences are still highly beneficial and purifying. Truly, this is medicine! 

I can relate to the nausea and headaches and how feeling deeply into them (although at times utterly difficult), they can melt away. This is what I find mirrored in meditation, too - sometimes I'm a bit lost in thoughts, just to realize that the reason for that is some kind of knot in the head or a feeling of unease. But it's like energetically, something tries to stir awareness away from this point of intense energy (blockage). So sometimes it's not that easy to actually notice what/where that feeling is. But I find that all the thoughts, all the tensions in the body, they are stemming from this one feeling or blockage - and going straight into the core of that feeling is instantly alleviating the second order effects of it, even though the feeling itself intensifies upon close observation. It can take a lot of time to unravel, but it's a gateway to the roots of suffering. This is how pain is a direct path to truth. 

Regarding the sexual repression, have you tried intense, sensual, self-loving masturbation during a trip? (I personally find porn contra-productive here tbh, so only you, only your body, only the pure feeling of sexual energy and sensuality). It helped me a lot, really transformed this repression into self love. Any other insights that healed this part for you? 

[Raptorsin7]

2 hours ago, peanutspathtotruth said:

Regarding the sexual repression, have you tried intense, sensual, self-loving masturbation during a trip? (I personally find porn contra-productive here tbh, so only you, only your body, only the pure feeling of sexual energy and sensuality). It helped me a lot, really transformed this repression into self love. Any other insights that healed this part for you? 

Yes i have haha. 

Funny story. I've had a bunch of trips where I basically got stuck midway, because reality started to dissolve and transfigure so I thought I'd try visualizing an amazing real life orgy with hot angels and then contemplate/inquire further while having an orgy haha. But it never worked and I basically got bamboozled by my own horniness.

I actually had one trip where it felt like I was being given a handjob by an astral being, I couldn't see anything but I could feel my sexual energy center getting massaged from sheer desire and will.

Sexual repression is a big one for me i'm still working through this and my libidio is still largely repressed. I think a big thing for me is learning to accept any gay feelings I have buried. I still can't say I would be okay if I were gay because I think it's preferable to be straight and I really want a beautiful wife and family, but I definitely have some issues with being close to men because there's probably a subtle fear of being gay. 

Another interesting point related to sexuality. I've had many trips where masterbaring and orgasm served as a lubircant to feel into those buried energy centers/trauma points. Like when I would orgasm I would feel so good, and because I felt so good in that moment I had a reference point for that feeling and what the source of the pleasure was, so then even after orgasm I could still feel into the source of the pleasure

[Consilience]

Beautiful ?

[cetus]

[Matt23]

Heart

[TheLoneSage]

Let go and let god @Raptorsin7

 

 

Edited September 5, 2021 by TheLoneSage

[nistake]

Great stuff. I just watched Leo's episode about satisfaction meditation again and here's an insight from the video which is quite similar to yours:

Quote

Spirituality is the ability to to be satisfied with whatever is and to be conscious of it and to cultivate your love for existence itself.

It's so easy to get lost in the metaphysics/philosophy side of spirituality and thus chasing experiences when the real deal is right here, right now.

[peanutspathtotruth]

@Raptorsin7 Thank you for your openness about this, interesting stuff. I can relate in some ways. I too have felt sexually satisfied by pure energy, mostly on DMT. Completely non-physical, utter satisfaction, as if coming from pure divine feminine energy. What it taught me: joy is nothing to hide from. It's what we're here to feel, and there is no need to bury it in shame. Beautiful stuff. 

3 hours ago, nistake said:

It's so easy to get lost in the metaphysics/philosophy side of spirituality and thus chasing experiences when the real deal is right here, right now.

Thank you ?? ♥️

Edited September 5, 2021 by peanutspathtotruth

[James12345]

18 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I struggled with understanding how love relates to meditation and awareness for a long time but I finally realized that love is always here and available. You always have the option to just love what is. 

I was listening to a bunch of different teachers, and I had a clear understanding of resting as awareness and most techniques related to simply being aware but I always felt stuck and thought was something was missing from these teachings. Once I realized that love is here it really tied a lot of things together. Now when I practice being aware I do in sort of two steps, I notice that there I am aware and bring that to the forefront of my attention, and then I just love. It's like a warm, soft feeling and its always possible to just love.

Just wanted to share because I struggled for so long not understanding how to love, even though I realized it was the most important step on the path for me. I'm still learning to love more parts of my self, but from here on i've realized that the answer to my problems is just to love everything and anything

Definitely! Love is accepting everything, every situation and everyone. Love is the best way to decrease and vanish the ego. Love is the key of surrendering the self, which is the key of to open the door of Truth. 

Come wherever you are, whatever you are, what you are, who you are, just come. 

Rumi