How to deal with deep rooted limiting beliefs and fears?

[spiritual memes]

I've been meditating and doing self enquiry consistently for almost 2 years and it has helped me greatly. However, doing self enquiry has uncovered a bunch of deeply rooted limiting beliefs about myself and reality. These stem from trauma at an early age and manifest themselves in my present reality which greatly limits my social life, career and especially my dating life. Some of these beliefs are:

• I am fundamentally disgusting and repulsive on the inside
• Everyone is secretly laughing at me behind my back
• I am incompetent at life and can't get anything done
• Other people have something within them that I am lacking which allows them to be successful and happy
• I am weak minded
• There is something wrong with me that other people can easily notice

I have also noticed a deep rooted fear of intimacy. I tend to keep people at an arms length and don't reveal much about myself. I physically cringed when visualising myself being intimate with someone even though I really want an intimate relationship. 

On an intellectual level, I understand that these beliefs are probably false or exaggerated and I can come up with countless examples proving them wrong but these beliefs seem to work on an emotional level and simply FEEL true and therefore continue to manifest themselves in my reality. These beliefs are so deeply rooted that I have developed my personality and ego around them making them insanely hard to get rid of.

How do I overcome these limiting beliefs? If anyone has gone through anything similar or has any ideas, it would be deeply appreciated

[SriSriJustinBieber]

 

[Seemore]

You can't you're hopeless

[The0Self]

8 hours ago, SriSriJustinBieber said:

 

Was just about to say, Bentinho Massaro is the one you’d want to consult for this particular issue.

[Nahm]

15 hours ago, spiritual memes said:

I've been meditating and doing self enquiry consistently for almost 2 years and it has helped me greatly. However, doing self enquiry has uncovered a bunch of deeply rooted limiting beliefs about myself and reality. These stem from trauma at an early age and manifest themselves in my present reality which greatly limits my social life, career and especially my dating life. Some of these beliefs are:

• I am fundamentally disgusting and repulsive on the inside
• Everyone is secretly laughing at me behind my back
• I am incompetent at life and can't get anything done
• Other people have something within them that I am lacking which allows them to be successful and happy
• I am weak minded
• There is something wrong with me that other people can easily notice

I have also noticed a deep rooted fear of intimacy. I tend to keep people at an arms length and don't reveal much about myself. I physically cringed when visualising myself being intimate with someone even though I really want an intimate relationship. 

On an intellectual level, I understand that these beliefs are probably false or exaggerated and I can come up with countless examples proving them wrong but these beliefs seem to work on an emotional level and simply FEEL true and therefore continue to manifest themselves in my reality. These beliefs are so deeply rooted that I have developed my personality and ego around them making them insanely hard to get rid of.

How do I overcome these limiting beliefs? If anyone has gone through anything similar or has any ideas, it would be deeply appreciated

When something feels True, the feeling is Love, Goodness, Purity. When something feels false, look for the perspective which instead illuminates it with Love. ‘Reach’ for a lens of forgiveness, apology, understanding, acceptance, inclusion, unity. See “the bully” as “the victim”, understand the output of behavior, to cast that hurt upon the other, rather than introspecting and dissolving it into the self, love. Notice (thought wise) exclusion, casting out, and choose perspectives of inclusion, unconditional-ness. 

If I want to be physically stronger, I best eat well and get lifting. If I want to be spiritually stronger, I best appreciate the power of letting go, and loving. 

If a thought about me doesn’t resonate, doesn’t feel good, you know what…. then fuck that. 

[roopepa]

? What Nahm said. You may right now reach for any perspective that feels better. In doing so, you see the untruth and "heaviness" of that thought you previously held true. Choosing another thought is completely effortless.

[Seed]

18 hours ago, spiritual memes said:

I've been meditating and doing self enquiry consistently for almost 2 years and it has helped me greatly. However, doing self enquiry has uncovered a bunch of deeply rooted limiting beliefs about myself and reality. These stem from trauma at an early age and manifest themselves in my present reality which greatly limits my social life, career and especially my dating life. Some of these beliefs are:

• I am fundamentally disgusting and repulsive on the inside
• Everyone is secretly laughing at me behind my back
• I am incompetent at life and can't get anything done
• Other people have something within them that I am lacking which allows them to be successful and happy
• I am weak minded
• There is something wrong with me that other people can easily notice

I have also noticed a deep rooted fear of intimacy. I tend to keep people at an arms length and don't reveal much about myself. I physically cringed when visualising myself being intimate with someone even though I really want an intimate relationship. 

On an intellectual level, I understand that these beliefs are probably false or exaggerated and I can come up with countless examples proving them wrong but these beliefs seem to work on an emotional level and simply FEEL true and therefore continue to manifest themselves in my reality. These beliefs are so deeply rooted that I have developed my personality and ego around them making them insanely hard to get rid of.

How do I overcome these limiting beliefs? If anyone has gone through anything similar or has any ideas, it would be deeply appreciated

Just want to say I completely relate and have similar limiting beliefs. I agree, they are an absolute bugger to shift!

As @Nahm said, all you can do is keep reaching for better thoughts / better feelings states. Believe as much as you can that you will overcome this. And take the pressure off 'results'.... just in every moment, notice where your thoughts are try to reach for something just a tiny bit better.

Also, get moving, get creating, get out and about. Push yourself out your comfort zone every day, this will build your self esteem. 

Good luck and feel free to chat to me whenever. I feel for you. 

[spiritual memes]

11 hours ago, Nahm said:

When something feels True, the feeling is Love, Goodness, Purity. When something feels false, look for the perspective which instead illuminates it with Love. ‘Reach’ for a lens of forgiveness, apology, understanding, acceptance, inclusion, unity. See “the bully” as “the victim”, understand the output of behavior, to cast that hurt upon the other, rather than introspecting and dissolving it into the self, love. Notice (thought wise) exclusion, casting out, and choose perspectives of inclusion, unconditional-ness. 

@Nahm This is very interesting, do you have any practical examples or methods of how I can apply this?

[Breakingthewall]

@spiritual memes you have a difficult outlook, which is fortunate. an interesting challenge ahead. There are two necessary tools that you are going to need: honesty and courage. cultivate them every day. make them grow to a total level, with all that that implies. they are what is going to make the difference between a  miserable life or a glorious life. Whoever reaches as low as you are, has the possibility of completely freeing himself. the last will be the first.

Edited September 4, 2021 by Breakingthewall

[dorg]

7 hours ago, spiritual memes said:

@Nahm This is very interesting, do you have any practical examples or methods of how I can apply this?

@spiritual memes If you look closely Nahm has given you a practical example and method in his paragraph.

[dorg]

On 4/09/2021 at 8:17 AM, spiritual memes said:

I've been meditating and doing self enquiry consistently for almost 2 years and it has helped me greatly. However, doing self enquiry has uncovered a bunch of deeply rooted limiting beliefs about myself and reality. These stem from trauma at an early age and manifest themselves in my present reality which greatly limits my social life, career and especially my dating life. Some of these beliefs are:

• I am fundamentally disgusting and repulsive on the inside
• Everyone is secretly laughing at me behind my back
• I am incompetent at life and can't get anything done
• Other people have something within them that I am lacking which allows them to be successful and happy
• I am weak minded
• There is something wrong with me that other people can easily notice

I have also noticed a deep rooted fear of intimacy. I tend to keep people at an arms length and don't reveal much about myself. I physically cringed when visualising myself being intimate with someone even though I really want an intimate relationship. 

On an intellectual level, I understand that these beliefs are probably false or exaggerated and I can come up with countless examples proving them wrong but these beliefs seem to work on an emotional level and simply FEEL true and therefore continue to manifest themselves in my reality. These beliefs are so deeply rooted that I have developed my personality and ego around them making them insanely hard to get rid of.

How do I overcome these limiting beliefs? If anyone has gone through anything similar or has any ideas, it would be deeply appreciated

@spiritual memes You don't "get rid of"  or "overcome" anything. You are much bigger than your thoughts/beliefs about yourself. You are the love/openness that has room for everything. Love does not exclude anything, love is open to it all. Notice this. Just be the openness. You will probably cry - be open to this....

 

Edited September 5, 2021 by dorg

[Nahm]

On 9/3/2021 at 4:17 PM, spiritual memes said:

and simply FEEL true

What I’m saying might seem ‘radical’ or maybe difficult to consider, but I’m suggesting those thoughts don’t feel good to you, because they’re not true about you. To try to do something to ‘fix’ or ‘solve’ them, would be to continue repeat & believe them (those thoughts).

If you accidently put your hand on a hot stove you’d immediately remove it. Not because it’s true or not, but because of how it feels. 

I suggest that same intelligence that is the body, is applied (or allowed to be applied) to the thoughts. For your own well being & happiness. 

Give these a read, and just notice how you feel as you do. Recognize that what you want, is to feel good. Prioritize feeling good, way above what you or anyone else thinks, says, or believes. 

[Waken]

Well when these beliefs feel true, then perhaps you can take that as an indication that the thoughts you've written down are in alignment with what you believe.

You can examine why it seems logical for you to believe these core beliefs. Perhaps then you see that they are based on nonsense so to speak and then they release. It also can be helpful, that when you've done that, to choose a thought that does feel good to you. If you reach for a new good feeling thought, in my experience you will feel the energy of that new thought immediately

Edited September 5, 2021 by Waken

[spiritual memes]

@Seed thanks for the advice. Best of luck to you too!

[kamwalker]

MDMA therapy would help a lot with the fear of intimacy and lack of vulnerability 

[RMQualtrough]

Probably Western medicine and then positive reinforcement feedback loops socially.

Thoughts seem to just manifest and appear from the void. Our minds are an illusion appearing in the void. I always wonder then, how helpful such knowledge is... When you make posts like the OP post it is that illusory mind speaking, and it's that illusory mind that is wishing to change.

Perhaps realization of no-self would be beneficial? Because you realize that the you of even 5 seconds ago is no longer present. "You" is just a bundle of experience in the ever-changing present moment, there's no fixed person there at all.

[spiritual memes]

@Nahm@dorg  Are you saying I should stop trying to fix the problem and focus on thoughts that feel good to me? That may improve my wellbeing but I still make subconscious decisions and judgements based on these beliefs. There are times in my life where I have attained extremely high emotional states and in these times, these limiting beliefs have less of an effect on me however these states do not last long and once they end, the limiting beliefs come right back.

[Breakingthewall]

@spiritual memes imo the thing is simple: 100% of those negative thoughts is ego. You have to transcend your ego, it is fundamental, because if you don't do it, those thoughts will eat you up. you can go the psychological way: try to improve that ego. but imo it is a utopia to get it. maybe you will get some improvement but in the background there will always be anxiety. anyway any ego sucks so don't feel unlucky. the good thing is that you have a very easy to identify ego. It is often said that the main engine of seeking enlightenment is suffering. so you know ... to seek for enlightenment

Edited September 5, 2021 by Breakingthewall

[Nahm]

6 hours ago, spiritual memes said:

@Nahm@dorg  Are you saying I should stop trying to fix the problem and focus on thoughts that feel good to me?

Yes, and even more so ‘problem’ is a lens, just one way to look at things. 

6 hours ago, spiritual memes said:

That may improve my wellbeing but I still make subconscious decisions and judgements based on these beliefs.

It seems you’re conscious of this. 

6 hours ago, spiritual memes said:

There are times in my life where I have attained extremely high emotional states and in these times, these limiting beliefs have less of an effect on me however these states do not last long and once they end, the limiting beliefs come right back.

Don’t feed them and they won’t show up anymore. If any uncomfortable emotions arise, express & understand what you’re feeling. 

[dorg]

3 hours ago, spiritual memes said:

@Nahm@dorg  Are you saying I should stop trying to fix the problem and focus on thoughts that feel good to me? That may improve my wellbeing but I still make subconscious decisions and judgements based on these beliefs. There are times in my life where I have attained extremely high emotional states and in these times, these limiting beliefs have less of an effect on me however these states do not last long and once they end, the limiting beliefs come right back.

@spiritual memes Thought/belief generates experience.

You habitually entertain/believe extremely limited and limiting thought/belief (and hence extremely limited and limiting experience results). Work is required to continually 'pick up' or notice this. And work is required to approach life with a more open and expansive outlook (rather than your current habitual beliefs).