Craving To Learn And My Job

[Evilwave Heddy]

Hey, I need a small push in the right direction atm.

I've been working at my job for 2 months now (full time/ 40 hours a week), but I've been thinking a lot about how happy I was when I was actually learning stuff in the 2 years course I did a few months back before this job.  I don't mind my current job, but that craving is there every evening and I feel my job is slightly holding me back.  I feel like I could achieve way much more and be way happier learning....life basically.  When I get home, I barely have the energy to even think about learning. And when I go for my daily walk with the dog I get these thoughts that make me feel like my job is holding me back in some way.  I could do part time (30 hours a week) but I'm just not to sure what to do.  I will be with my team less with that type of change.  And there kinda the only reason I can stand my job.  So basically I'm at a stand still and need some help.  Now I know you're gonna say "We can't help make your mind up for you", but I just need a slight push in the right direction here.

When I get a weekend off, I spend some of it learning (mostly just relaxing after a week of work) and by Monday I kinda sleep in and have really bad thoughts about this job. Thoughts like "I might just call in sick" or "Fuck this, I don't need this job".  I know everyone gets these thoughts on a Monday morning, but I'm just way more aware of my thoughts and kinda want to listen to these otherwise I'll never be happy.

Also just to add, I have a meeting tomorrow with the "Youcouldbasicallycallhimtheboss" and another boss.  It's basically a check up on performance and how I'm doing.  Since I recieved the letter telling me the date of the meeting I kinda questioned myself as to "How am I doing?" and it's just been playing on my mind since.  The only good thing is that I'm not depressed, stressed, angry or anything like that, but I'm not happy either.  I'm just content with what I should do.  So any videos or anything that will push me in the right direction? (Also I might need to check out Leo's videos again on Life Purpose and stuff, but meh...watching it again is not same)

P.S Quitting my job is out of question...or is it...see I'm just not really sure...about anything. lol

Thanks in advance.

Edited December 6, 2016 by Evilwave Heddy

[Leo Gura]

@Evilwave Heddy Clearly your current job is a dead end and your intuition is telling you to pursue learning. But you're afraid because you have no immediate idea of how learning might lead to something productive or lucrative down the line.

THIS is where life purpose work is done. THIS is where the rubber meets the road. If you can't muster the courage and creativity to pursue your intuitions, you've already failed.

Now you can appreciate why most people have crappy jobs and zero life purpose. Because they do what you're about to do: repress the muse and settle for practicality.

It's not important to know how your passions and intuitions will lead to ultimate success. You will NEVER know that! What's important is to muster the courage to listen and follow your muse with diligence.

And your muse is clearly telling you: GO FUCKING LEARN!

[Evilwave Heddy]

Thanks for getting in touch Leo. During my meeting this morning with the bosses I told them the same as what I said here...they didn't really understand my craving for "learning" and at that point I realised that they had no idea what I was going through.

So now they have given me the day off to think about If I want this job or not and to let them know tommorow as I told them straight out I want to quit.  I honestly feel free...and happy atm despite the rush of emotions this morning.

Anyways, I just got to go in tommorow to clear my locker and sign some forms and am looking forward to it.

Thanks again Leo for getting back to me as I felt that quitting my job was the wrong decision.

[Pramit]

Just don't get into depression later on as you might have some kind of "realization" of what you've done. Don't worry about it, just keep doing what you enjoy. 

Edited December 7, 2016 by Pramit

[Leo Gura]

@Evilwave Heddy What I said doesn't necessarily mean you have to quit your job. If you need your job to pay your rent, then it's probably not a good idea to quit it right now. You can follow through on what I said without quitting. But that's something only you can decide.

[Evilwave Heddy]

@Leo Gura Don't worry, you didn't influence me to quit or anything, my mind was kinda made up after the meeting ,but just reading it is like the nail in the ground for me.  Either way, I'm gonna be searching for a new job (part time preferably) in my downtime as this job just straight up destroyed me.

[Big_D]

@Evilwave Heddy Got a similar "problem" like you. I definitly know that my life purpose is finding the TRUTH! I feel that extreme urge inside me to find the TRUTH and the more I do conciousness/enlightenment work, this urge gets stronger and stronger.I am 18 and for 3 months I got a  job. It's definitly not a bad job, but it also doesn't fulfill me. The only thing I actually care about in my life is truth and love...

In 80 years I will be dead... so I know that my time is limited and I shouldn't waste 40 hours a week working just to get some money at the end of the month. ( imagine to meditate 40 hours a week instead of working)

The question is: Is it wise to change my life now? Am I mature enough to decide that at my age? I mean it would be an huge turning point in my life..

[Evilwave Heddy]

@Schuchti11 I was 3 months into my job too.  It was my first proper job. If you find yourself questioning this every day for the next week like I did, then you'll know that something has to be done.

I'll be honest with you, this is the 3rd day from my job since I quit and I feel great, despite the odd downtimes where I'd miss the work enviroment.  I feel ready to get back into studying and learning (while casually looking at the options for a new job, but I doubt I will go back to a job anytime soon) and this is the first time in 3 months I've felt like this.  I'm feeling excited.  The first week I'm just gonna chill out then will get back into personal development. (and try not get stuck into chilling out) lol

Just make sure you have enough money to support yourself.  I only had 2 weeks paycheck saved up, but will last me for 10 weeks or so.  After that I will be getting income for being unemployed. Or I could simply look for another job. I tend to live in the moment so what happens in the far future doesn't bother me.

If money isn't an issue, just ask yourself..is it wise to change your life in 2 months? 6 months? a year? rather than now..or soon.

 

PS. Call me crazy, but the last few days I've been watching videos on flat earth and have started to believe in a flat earth. I'm undecided on what I believe anymore and might just move on from these ideas that earth is flat or round.

Edited December 9, 2016 by Evilwave Heddy

[Big_D]

@Evilwave Heddy Thanks for the advice! I think I will stay at the job for a few more weeks/months, just to see how I can align my job with the search for truth. If I see that it is not possible to do both at the same time, I will quit the job. I live in a wealthy family, so money won't be a problem.

PS: I don't call you crazy Flat or round earth doesn't bother me, because it doesn't matter. But humanity/culture is a founded on a big amount of lies... so it wouldn't surprise me if one day we`ll find out that we live on flat earth... or matrix .. or whatever.

[tyy]

@Evilwave Heddy Just read through the thread and am curious how everything has panned out for you so far?

I am in a similar situation, in a job which I am not passionate about, early on in my self-development journey. While I am not passionate about the job, I did go to college for it and have mastered it pretty well throughout the years. I can even fit in time to listen to podcasts and post on these forums to work on myself as I work too. How's learning been over the past couple months??

[Evilwave Heddy]

@tyy Hey man.  Yeah since writing that my head is so much clearer.  Looking back now, I was just working for the money and wasn't a bit motivated.  I got the Life Purpose course around Christmas and have been doing it since.  I'm almost close to finding something that I want to pursue and am now ready to get back into work (to get a bit of money for college and stuff like that.)  Also I hope to get an easier job than taking calls all day and listening to angry people giving out to me because their phones won't work.

I feel ready now (almost) to begin my journey and it's all thanks to Leos course. <<<I got paid to advertise that. Nah

Quote

While I am not passionate about the job, I did go to college for it and have mastered it pretty well throughout the years.

What else are you passionate about and are you more passionate about it than the job you currently have?

Edited February 9, 2017 by Evilwave Heddy

[tyy]

@Evilwave Heddy I got the course too! Just started to watch the videos so I am not very far into it. That's solid that you are approaching what you want to pursue. I need to be more consistent with the rate at which I watch the videos.

I feel a year ago I would be able to say what I am passionate about a lot easier. Ever since learning more about ego and diving deeper into my mind I feel I don't know as concretely anymore. The answer used to be weights and powerlifting, but I feel it wasn't for the right reasons. I still love the gym though and am consciously training more for health nowadays rather than a heavier lift. This course will help me find my truths though.

[Loreena]

@Evilwave Heddy Glad to know that you are doing well now.

[Evilwave Heddy]

@tyy I'm not even half way through it yet as I kinda contemplate after each video about what I want.  Slow and steady is the best way to go.

When I think of weights and powerlifting, I like to think of my body as a machine or vessel and by lifting these weights, I am upgrading my body. But I don't really lift that much anymore. lol  What I have found is that many people who do the course tend to go the self help route and want to help people that way because the course actually gets you to discover more about consciousness and upon discovering this they seem to think everything else is irrelevant.  Or else the majority that took the course have followed Leo for a bit of time and have delved deeper into their consciousness so they took an early interest in that.  For me though, I'm just gonna put that aside for a few years (I have an interest in it too, but not as strong as other areas.) and follow a different Life Purpose.

@Loreena Thanks Loreena.

[tyy]

@Evilwave Heddy Beautiful. I can see going the self help route. Once you dive into these topics I think it's inevitable that you become passionate regarding them. Slow and steady for sure, contemplating every day and working on a vision.

[Nahm]

Love the way this thread reads. Glad you're back in the drivers seat buddy. 

Anyone can love any job, this is practicing mindfulness.

Anyone can find another job, this is also practicing mindfulness.

You left a job to pursue PD. Leaving the job is practicing PD. So is practicing PD. So is finding another job. It's all experience, it's a PD, on some level.