Would You Date A Trans Male?

[Raptorsin7]

Would you date a Trans Male as a female?

If your answer is no, do you think there is something inherently transphobic in your preference or can you justify decision without being a transphobe?

[hamedsf]

NOPE.

I don't care what people do out there, falling sexually in love with a tree or marrying an alien.

but engaging with dick for me is a big red flag for losing my male identity (you might tell it's just an identity but I'm totally okay identifying or overidentifying myself with that as a male role) 

PS: didn't see "as a female" part of your question but still you can see some humans looking like females but having dicks

Edited September 1, 2021 by hamedsf

[Thought Art]

I think people can have preferences. I love people, but I have preferences I prefer and I will follow those.

If you aren't attracted to Jerry or Grace, are you a Jerry or Grace phobe or do you just have what you like and you go with that and it isn't jerry or grace?

Edited September 1, 2021 by Thought Art

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Would you date a Trans Male as a female?

If your answer is no, do you think there is something inherently transphobic in your preference or can you justify decision without being a transphobe?

I’d imagine so. There are trans men who I’ve seen on the internet who are really attractive and masculine to where I wouldn’t really know they were trans unless they told me. 

Though it might not be sexually compatible in the long run because I strongly prefer the sexual dynamic of being penetrated by a penis. And only some trans men have had bottom surgery to make that possible. 

But otherwise, I could see the relationship just feel like the usual hetero dynamic that I tend to prefer in relationships. 

Now, if a trans man didn’t pass, I’m not sure if that attraction would arise as I haven’t been in the situation. But it’s in the realm of possibility.

Also if a person isn’t attracted to any given trans-person, it’s not transphobic.

But if a person has “won’t date trans people” as a hallmark of their named sexual preference, I will probably assume that they’re transphobic just for specifying. 

Edited September 1, 2021 by Emerald

[Raptorsin7]

34 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I’d imagine so. There are trans men who I’ve seen on the internet who are really attractive and masculine to where I wouldn’t really know they were trans unless they told me. 

Though it might not be sexually compatible in the long run because I strongly prefer the sexual dynamic of being penetrated by a penis. And only some trans men have had bottom surgery to make that possible. 

But otherwise, I could see the relationship just feel like the usual hetero dynamic that I tend to prefer in relationships. 

Now, if a trans man didn’t pass, I’m not sure if that attraction would arise as I haven’t been in the situation. But it’s in the realm of possibility.

Also if a person isn’t attracted to any given trans-person, it’s not transphobic.

But if a person has “won’t date trans people” as a hallmark of their named sexual preference, I will probably assume that they’re transphobic just for specifying. 

I think a lot of people hide their transphobia by clinging to their preferences.

They can say oh it's just my preference to save face and believe they aren't a bigot etc .

I wouldn't date a trans woman, I just don't believe an emotionally well adjusted person would mutilate their body over beliefs around identity. 

[KennedyCarter]

@Raptorsin7 no. It’s ok to have a genital preference for your partner, if you plan on sleeping with them. 

[Raptorsin7]

@KennedyCarter 

What if they had reassignment surgery?

[KennedyCarter]

7 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@KennedyCarter 

What if they had reassignment surgery?

It’s a no for me on robot dick. Maybe some girls would like it. And there’s no cum for cumshots and cream pies hahahah 

I love you hope this helps

Edited September 1, 2021 by KennedyCarter

[Nos7algiK]

It's not a 100% no, but a most likely no due to just how much the stars would have to align for me to be in a potential situation like that.

Long as my intellectual and emotional interests were being met then they would have a chance.

I think it's a dangerous game to label something as "phobic" just because they have certain preferences.

I partially agree trans people may have some deep emotional trauma inside of them, but at the same time I don't want to blanket statement an entire group of people and rather see it as a person to person understanding of them. In my opinion, making that blanket statement is the bigoted belief. 

Edited September 1, 2021 by Nos7algiK

[Preety_India]

No. Because there's no penis. 

And lack of masculinity. 

I'm heterosexual. So I need heterosexual male to complete. 

If I had to love someone non sexually, then nothing would matter. 

On the flip side, I believe that if someone openly states their sexual preferences, they aren't necessarily being transphobic. They are only saying what they're comfortable with when it comes to sex. I don't think that they should be demonized and falsely labeled as hateful or bigots only for having a sexual preference.. 

To me a transphobic person is someone who doesn't respect a Trans, doesn't respect their rights and isolates them and ostracizes them, and treats them with contempt and considers them inferior or even denies them their instincts and preferences. 

But calling someone transphobic simply because they cannot be sexually with a Trans and openly admitting it appears very dogmatic and witch-hunting like.. 

 

Edited September 1, 2021 by Preety_India

[Raptorsin7]

8 minutes ago, Nos7algiK said:

It's not a 100% no, but a most likely no due to just how much the stars would have to align for me to be in a potential situation like that.

Long as my intellectual and emotional interests were being met then they would have a chance.

I think it's a dangerous game to label something as "phobic" just because they have certain preferences.

I partially agree trans people may have some deep emotional trauma inside of them, but at the same time I don't want to blanket statement an entire group of people and rather see it as a person to person understanding of them.

The thing is I think your partial agreement around the emotional issues is a driver for your preference so in that sense it can be viewed as transphobia.

I think people hide behind their preferences out of fear of judgment, and likely because they want to maintain their self image as a progressive person etc 

[Raptorsin7]

8 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

No. Because there's no penis. 

And lack of masculinity. 

I'm heterosexual. So I need heterosexual male to complete. 

If I had to love someone non sexually, then nothing would matter. 

On the flip side, I believe that if someone openly states their sexual preferences, they aren't necessarily being transphobic. They are only saying what they're comfortable with when it comes to sex. I don't think that they should be demonized and falsely labeled as hateful or bigots only for having a sexual preference.. 

To me a transphobic person is someone who doesn't respect a Trans, doesn't respect their rights and isolates them and ostracizes them, and treats them with contempt and considers them inferior or even denies them their instincts and preferences. 

But calling someone transphobic simply because they cannot be sexually with a Trans and openly admitting it appears very dogmatic and with-hunting like.. 

 

What if they had a penis, and were able to embody masuckine traits?

I don't think not having a preference for trans people necessarily makes you transphobic but you have to understand why people have preferences they have and the impact.

If everyone in society was not transphobic but preferred non trans people, then you have a sort of systemic transphobia. Similar to how people argue you can have racist systems, without a bunch of individual racists

[Preety_India]

21 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

If everyone in society was not transphobic but preferred non trans people, then you have a sort of systemic transphobia. Similar to how people argue you can have racist systems, without a bunch of individual racists

I understand the racism part. 

Yet, when it comes to transphobia, this does not seem to apply. 

The thing is, with racism, there's nothing like an individual preference, we naturally embrace all races and believe everyone should be treated equally. 

WE can believe the same when it comes to Trans rights, yet that does not mean that we have to sleep with them to prove that we're not bigoted. It's like saying a straight man should sleep with another man only to prove that he is not homophobic, that would be kinda absurd. So Yea, if everyone in society didn't want to engage sexually with a Trans, it doesn't really violate any rights, because that's not a question of rights but a question of preferences that obviously people are entitled, as to who they want to sleep with, so technically they aren't suppressing someone's rights to sexual opportunity, they are simply asserting themselves and you have to take into account that sex is not something you owe someone, so it cannot be commodified as a general opportunity the way we do with basic income, education and welfare. We don't do that with sex. So if trans people feel that they aren't accepted sexually in the dating market, this is simply a case of misfortune and lack of opportunity but not a case of hatred or trampling of rights and freedoms as in the case of racism. Same argument can be applied to racial preferences in dating, absolutely nothing wrong with that either. Some people are labeled as a racist if they have romantic preferences tied to race, but it's just preferences and might not have anything to do with racism, unless the person is very dogmatically stressing their preferences and even showing contempt to races that they do not prefer to date, I think in such a case the person is being racist but not otherwise. 

Edited September 1, 2021 by Preety_India

[SLuxy]

It would not be a refraining from fear of transpeople it would stem from a fear of death.

Transphobia does not exist. It is an artificial category.

Look at the base fear. 

[Nos7algiK]

49 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

The thing is I think your partial agreement around the emotional issues is a driver for your preference so in that sense it can be viewed as transphobia.

I think people hide behind their preferences out of fear of judgment, and likely because they want to maintain their self image as a progressive person etc 

You are free to perceive others how you wish. Though I don't agree at all. I'm saying that I can hold sympathy for the LGBTQ+ community because I would assume there are some traumatizing aspects of it such as judgements they may get from society or how embracing they own sexuality which could be different from the body they were born in may not be an easy thing to accomplish. But, regardless of the struggle many can still overcome these hardships and live happily as whoever they wish to be. I'm not looking down on them nor am I saying there is something psychologically wrong with them for them being themselves.

Also, there is no fear of being judged. If you want to see me as a bigot, you are free to do so. Your opinion of me wouldn't change who I am. So why would I be offended by your own personal perception of my self that I have no right to tell you how to view it? Though, all criticisms are taken into consideration. They just pass through the moment they don't resonate. Shutting out all criticism would be equally foolish as letting all criticism trigger me.

Edited September 1, 2021 by Nos7algiK

[Raptorsin7]

15 minutes ago, Nos7algiK said:

You are free to perceive others how you wish. Though I don't agree at all. I'm saying that I can hold sympathy for the LGBTQ+ community because I would assume there are some traumatizing aspects of it such as judgements they may get from society or how embracing they own sexuality which could be different from the body they were born in may not be an easy thing to accomplish. But, regardless of the struggle many can still overcome these hardships and live happily as whoever they wish to be. I'm not looking down on them nor am I saying there is something psychologically wrong with them for them being themselves.

I'd be curious to know if there are any trans people who chose to transition after finding peace.

I'm assuming that trans people get surgeries etc bevause they think it will solve their suffering, but if they were already there would be no need to make such a change.

[Nos7algiK]

6 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I'd be curious to know if there are any trans people who chose to transition after finding peace.

I'm assuming that trans people get surgeries etc bevause they think it will solve their suffering, but if they were already there would be no need to make such a change.

I'd assume there may be a few people that found peace first. Though, many do it to escape suffering. This is the case though with many people and not just transgenders, of course. I believe if they were there already the decision wouldn't matter so more times than not, the decision wouldn't go through. But, it's possible since it doesn't matter the decision could go through. They could perceive it as part of their destiny or life story and their sex change is just part of that narrative. Though not a real comparison, people still work on themselves or feel the need to "wake up" more after they had glimpses of the absolute. There is nothing wrong with this depending on the mindset towards it. 

I'll be honest with you attempting to translate how I transgender person could feel though it's my area of expertise. I prefer not to go into too many details here nor do I wish to offend anyone by saying the wrong thing. My assumptions on the above statements is a general idea of how anything could be possible when it comes to the human psyche.

[Raptorsin7]

22 minutes ago, Nos7algiK said:

I'd assume there may be a few people that found peace first. Though, many do it to escape suffering. This is the case though with many people and not just transgenders, of course. I believe if they were there already the decision wouldn't matter so more times than not, the decision wouldn't go through. But, it's possible since it doesn't matter the decision could go through. They could perceive it as part of their destiny or life story and their sex change is just part of that narrative. Though not a real comparison, people still work on themselves or feel the need to "wake up" more after they had glimpses of the absolute. There is nothing wrong with this depending on the mindset towards it. 

I'll be honest with you attempting to translate how I transgender person could feel though it's my area of expertise. I prefer not to go into too many details here nor do I wish to offend anyone by saying the wrong thing. My assumptions on the above statements is a general idea of how anything could be possible when it comes to the human psyche.

Okay thats fair.

I agree anything Is possible, but it's not very useful when having these kinds of discussions.

Like its possible that a serial killer is actually very woke and loving and he kills for love, but in discussing the psychology of serial killers this kind of point is kind of nonsensical 

[Nos7algiK]

9 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Okay thats fair.

I agree anything Is possible, but it's not very useful when having these kinds of discussions.

Like its possible that a serial killer is actually very woke and loving and he kills for love, but in discussing the psychology of serial killers this kind of point is kind of nonsensical 

This is true, but the discussion just started to get more and more off the rails from "would you date a trans male" and since I was partially involved with this derailment me stating anything is possible is just my way of politely stepping away from the conversation lol.

[soos_mite_ah]

There are a couple of trans men who I was cuddle buddies with for a period of time and if I was ready for a relationship and if they were attracted to me, I would have taken that opportunity (they were both gay so it was out of question). 

So yes, yes I would date a transman because they are considered men in my eyes.