Construct / Ego Aware stage

[tuckerwphotography]

Does anyone here resonate with the Construct Ego Aware stage as defined by Susanne Cook-Greuter and Terri O'Fallen (via STAGES lev 5.0)? 

I'd love to hear about people's journeys into this stage, particularly some of the challenges that emerge. I haven't met someone in-person who identifies at this stage (though plenty of people who are beyond it). There's very specific challenges and pitfalls that present themselves as the ego is being deconstructed, and it would be great to use the community here to provide support along the way. Perhaps it could even turn into a Zoom gathering of some sort. Open to ideas

[Flyboy]

I think I'm pretty close, though a bit more on the logical / systems side of it than the intuitive / flow side.  It's hard to say exactly though because I think I am intellectually "higher" in terms of understanding, but in terms of realization / actualization maybe less so.  How do you think about the difference between understanding and embodiment?

I'm always cautious of "aboutism" when it comes to judging where I'm at on these scales.

[PepperBlossoms]

construct aware - to make meaning out of stuff; to notice that one is making meaning and that the meaning doesn't necessarily mean anything other than what one decided it meant

like all the words I just typed - do those have meaning? 

the way someone reacts to me - i could make up a meaning to what that meant

to see a human face on a clay sun and link that to people saying a human-like god created the world - and then to notice that I created meaning when oh it is just a decoration - but saying it is a decoration is meaning too

to hangout with the palm trees in your backyard and then feel like you are having a conversation with them even though you are just staring at them and then realize you made up the idea that you were having a conversation

an investigator - makes up meanings to try to come up with a link from A to B when there isn't necessarily one link 

to see someone ask a question and then another person made an assumption of an effect from that question and then see that that person in their response created a meaning that the person asking the question didn't necessarily intend for

to see a spider and then to put a human face on it and then imagine yourself as the spider in its scale with big legs and then see - oh there is a little human hanging from the wall - i'm gonna not touch it because the little human doesn't want to get hurt - - but then to say the spider is a mini human or that the spider is any more or less worth living than a human

to listen to people talk and see the tone they are using - and then the meaning we make from the tone - oh his person talks super positive and upbeat and I have been classifying them as nice while this person does not do that and I have been classifying them as cold and mean - when the person not doing that could be just as nice and I was just making meaning based off of what I grew up with in my childhood

to notice that one makes meaning based off of info used but as soon as you add in more info/perspective -the info completely changes to something totally different

the news pushing meaning onto things like - oh this is BAD

go to the gym and see lots of advertisements and sexy dancing on the tv and then put whatever meaning I come up with - or to even say - oh that is sexy dancing - or to say - oh that is dancing - that is all meaning.. or just every word like TV, gym, advertisement - those all have meaning

Edited August 30, 2021 by PepperBlossoms

[PepperBlossoms]

go to the therapist - anything that you tell them - you created meaning. 

talk to a friend - whatever you say - you made meaning in order to have something to say

reasoning for selecting x career/x spouse/x home - made meaning for why

the money in your pocket - give meaning that you can trade it for something else

the concept of time - that seconds are part of duration and time is passing - 

the boundaries that we came up with on a map

the notion of country, ethnicity, skin color, species, year, color, tone, pitch, number, letter, language

any deviation or boundary that creates division

the notion of what is poor, middle class, upper class

all rules

[PepperBlossoms]

the notion that xyz is science, abc is language, efg is math

the notion that this stuff is my body and that stuff is your body

the notion of asleep versus awake or what is inside and outside the body/mind

to see a bunch of stuff and then say that those are grouped together like that and this and this causes that and these are similar like this and different like that and I like these because of X. to say that this describes that or predicts that. to see something and say it is a pattern and describes that. to create groupings.  to notice that you are doing all of that and that you can do it in whatever which way and it could change everything but yet also change nothing

to notice content vs framework/structure - like oh I am focusing on the content of examples of construct aware rather than the framework of it.  

to notice how the politicians create meaning like - oh immigrants trying to come to our country is BAD. or to say - oh well how is a person from country xyz bad? or how can a person be illegal just like how can a plant be illegal? To notice that we put legal/illegal onto things in whatever way

to notice a mailbox has a flame design and to say the flames are a concept and then to apply it to myself and say I as a human is a concept like the flames as a design are

to see that all codes/requirements that we have are all made up - like oh sure the "speed limit is 35 miles per hour" but that's because we put a sign there - or to make a connection that the number 35 has to do with the speed per unit time in a vehicle - which then correlates to the odometer in the car - and to then say oh i have to be at or within a certain number amount of that and that the 35 on that sign needs to match the 35 in my vehicle - - and then the whole ownership of "my" and meaning made up from that as well as what is considered a vehicle and what isn't

** sorry I didn't really answer directly and just started giving examples - I guess for me I just have ideas pop in my head and it just adds up and more and more stuff pops into my head and I call them epiphanies - but to just notice stuff in ways I hadn't noticed before - but to even say something is an epiphany is putting meaning on it.....

language starts to get weird because when talking to someone - you could respond literal, respond abstract, interpret it in all these different ways, focus on some things over others - - but then the whole notion of what is literal versus what is abstract or what is superficial versus what is deep or what is real versus what isn't - it is all made up based on how you make it up

Edited August 30, 2021 by PepperBlossoms

[tuckerwphotography]

@PepperBlossoms Yes. This. Thank you. 
 

When did you start seeing the world in this way, and what had been your journey through this “stage”? In other words, can you construct some stuff to describe how you started realizing you construct stuff? ?

[blackchair]

best thing about language and communication and  yellow/turquoise is that I'm talking to myself all the time, sometimes it fu*ks me in the brain ? so i talk to God instead

[roopepa]

At least a bit on that stage. Had a psychotic episode about a year ago that pretty much forced me to really take a look on how the mind constructs lived reality.

[Intraplanetary]

On 30/08/2021 at 11:26 PM, PepperBlossoms said:

language starts to get weird because when talking to someone - you could respond literal, respond abstract, interpret it in all these different ways, focus on some things over others - - but then the whole notion of what is literal versus what is abstract or what is superficial versus what is deep or what is real versus what isn't - it is all made up based on how you make it up

so good

[Nobody_Here]

It’s not fun. It's hard to put into words, but @PepperBlossoms does a decent job. What I feel in the construct-aware/ego-aware stage is a profound sense of alienation since I'm above all these other stages. Then I wonder if I'm being egotistical because I'm not above anyone, I just happened to fall into this stage, quite by accident. Then I note to myself that that's not entirely true, either. I wanted to get to the Unitive stage, but I somehow got stuck here. Then I remind myself that there is no “I” and that these are all electrical impulses in some brain. Then the thoughts in the brain remember that God is looking out through the eyes of a human. Then the human remembers it's getting late and that work is tomorrow and that work corresponds to the human’s (a figment of God’s imagination) supposed life purpose. Life is good yet so mundane that even in meaning, there is meaninglessness in it. Then one remembers that they are happy, that this is happiness, which is somehow depressing. So meditation about love happens, which is the only thing there is. So that is ego-aware consciousness. 

Edited September 2, 2021 by Nobody_Here

[tuckerwphotography]

@Nobody_Here Yeah, I resonate with much of what you said. Have you moved past this stage, or are you still in it (or oscillating)? For me, I recognize that at this point only an act of Grace and/or a deep meditation practice can push the "me" through this stage, but the "me" is still so addicted to thoughts and the witnessing of thoughts that the motivation for hours of meditation each day is not yet there. But I always recognize at some point the suffering will motivate the necessary next steps, so to speak. Or maybe it will happen more organically without the suffering (inshallah). 

[tuckerwphotography]

@Nobody_Here @PepperBlossoms Any resources, books, teachers, etc that have helped you during this stage?

I just read The Golden Thread by Holly Woods which was amazing book about Purpose and how it looks at each stage of development, including the Construct Aware phase.

Also, this interview with Kim Barta was great, especially how he spoke about shadow showing up at each stage. I actually emailed him to see if he could do some sessions with me, but he has a one year waiting list lol 

Also of course I find many of Leo's videos to be very helpful in navigating the ego deconstruction process. Any in particular that you both most resonated with?

Grateful to be in connection with those on this forum  

 

[blackchair]

1 hour ago, tuckerwphotography said:

@Nobody_Here @PepperBlossoms Any resources, books, teachers, etc that have helped you during this stage?

I just read The Golden Thread by Holly Woods which was amazing book about Purpose and how it looks at each stage of development, including the Construct Aware phase.

Also, this interview with Kim Barta was great, especially how he spoke about shadow showing up at each stage. I actually emailed him to see if he could do some sessions with me, but he has a one year waiting list lol 

Also of course I find many of Leo's videos to be very helpful in navigating the ego deconstruction process. Any in particular that you both most resonated with?

Grateful to be in connection with those on this forum  

 

do you know what shadow is at Turquoise? 

[tuckerwphotography]

25 minutes ago, blackchair said:

do you know what shadow is at Turquoise? 

@blackchair The last third of the video is all about that.

[blackchair]

13 minutes ago, tuckerwphotography said:

@blackchair The last third of the video is all about that.

great! i will watch it! thank you ❤️

[blackchair]

i watched it, his turquoise is graves yellow, but it's was interesting for 6.0 stage and illuminated mind.....

[Nobody_Here]

17 hours ago, tuckerwphotography said:

@Nobody_Here Yeah, I resonate with much of what you said. Have you moved past this stage, or are you still in it (or oscillating)? For me, I recognize that at this point only an act of Grace and/or a deep meditation practice can push the "me" through this stage, but the "me" is still so addicted to thoughts and the witnessing of thoughts that the motivation for hours of meditation each day is not yet there. But I always recognize at some point the suffering will motivate the necessary next steps, so to speak. Or maybe it will happen more organically without the suffering (inshallah). 

I believe I am starting to move past this stage due to a shift I had earlier today, but it is too soon to tell if the shift is permanent. 

[Nobody_Here]

17 hours ago, tuckerwphotography said:

@Nobody_Here @PepperBlossoms Any resources, books, teachers, etc that have helped you during this stage?

I just read The Golden Thread by Holly Woods which was amazing book about Purpose and how it looks at each stage of development, including the Construct Aware phase.

Also, this interview with Kim Barta was great, especially how he spoke about shadow showing up at each stage. I actually emailed him to see if he could do some sessions with me, but he has a one year waiting list lol 

Also of course I find many of Leo's videos to be very helpful in navigating the ego deconstruction process. Any in particular that you both most resonated with?

Grateful to be in connection with those on this forum  

 

I’m on the fence about buying the book since I am skeptical about the concept of having a life purpose. Sure, the figment of the imagination that is me has recently been able to articulate their “life purpose,” but it has changed over the years, making me think that purpose over a phase of someone’s life would be more appropriate to set than the purpose that could change radically as life goes on. 

I haven't finished any of Leo’s videos on ego except for the ones about Cook-Greuter’s stages of ego development. I've gotten copies of Cook-Greuter’s papers and other here on this website. 

I watched Kim Barta’s video and explored his website. I watched the videos regarding a free course on taking your power back. While the course was interesting, I don't think I'll be taking any of the paid courses. 

[Vladimir]

On 8/30/2021 at 10:20 AM, tuckerwphotography said:

Does anyone here resonate with the Construct Ego Aware stage as defined by Susanne Cook-Greuter and Terri O'Fallen (via STAGES lev 5.0)? 

I'd love to hear about people's journeys into this stage, particularly some of the challenges that emerge. I haven't met someone in-person who identifies at this stage (though plenty of people who are beyond it). There's very specific challenges and pitfalls that present themselves as the ego is being deconstructed, and it would be great to use the community here to provide support along the way. Perhaps it could even turn into a Zoom gathering of some sort. Open to ideas

It's all just words that babble on and on, haven't you realized this is the loop you have been in this entire time? The real experience will come from your PERSONAL experience, no ONE can tell you the right way to experience what is TRUE haha.

[tuckerwphotography]

6 hours ago, Nobody_Here said:

I’m on the fence about buying the book since I am skeptical about the concept of having a life purpose. Sure, the figment of the imagination that is me has recently been able to articulate their “life purpose,” but it has changed over the years, making me think that purpose over a phase of someone’s life would be more appropriate to set than the purpose that could change radically as life goes on. 

I haven't finished any of Leo’s videos on ego except for the ones about Cook-Greuter’s stages of ego development. I've gotten copies of Cook-Greuter’s papers and other here on this website. 

I watched Kim Barta’s video and explored his website. I watched the videos regarding a free course on taking your power back. While the course was interesting, I don't think I'll be taking any of the paid courses. 

@Nobody_Here That's what the book is about: how Purpose is a construct that changes through the various stages of our development, and yet looking back on our life (depending on how we articulate our Purpose) we can see how, in a way, that we were always living this Purpose. When we get to Construct Aware it all starts to break down and be deconstructed only to be later reconstructed (with lightness) at 5.5 and higher. 

I'll check out the Power course from Kim. At this point I'm mostly interested in one-on-one coaching with someone who has personally gone through this stage themself so that I can speak in a familiar language and have the insights of someone who can resonate with the challenges often presented here.