The Script

[ivankiss]

THE CIRCLE'S GONE

I am winter dormant in my solitude
You are spring alive and with new growth
I am summer burning in my beatitude
You are fall shedding leaves grown old

Just when the circle’s drawn
Just then the circle’s gone
The circle’s gone

I am petals found in frail wayside flowers
You are wind blowing bare open
I am sunlight showering the rays of play
You are sand soft yet hard as stone

Just when the circle’s drawn
Just then the circle’s gone
The circle’s gone

Merging with the land now
With all things
And all the beings
Knowing I am one now
With my vision
With all the feeling

I am Winter, you are Spring
I am petals, you are wind
Faith fills my inner space
Clears my circle’s place
Turns me inside out
Moves away my doubt

Just when the circle’s drawn
Just then the circle’s gone
The circle’s gone

Just when the circle’s drawn
Just then the circle’s gone
The circle’s gone

[ivankiss]

In Italy. Settling down.

Man, them feels...

[ivankiss]

I feel like crying, but it's not quite on the surface yet. I'm sure those tears will come later, when I put on the right kind of music..

There is melancholy in the air. Some tension. Will work my way through it slowly. I'm at the beach, all is empty and silent. Pleasant summer breeze. The sky is clear, the stars shine bright. They're soothing my soul.

I know nothing is lost. I know there is so much to look forward to.. But still, I feel this transition deeply. It's not just about me moving. There is a lot of layers to this transformation. Some heartache is only natural.

What am I to do with all this silence..?

 

[ivankiss]

It's official. Today I entered my WR.

I will most likely split this phase into three parts: WR1, WR2 and WR3. For reasons I shall list later.

[ivankiss]

HYPNONE

You will never rest until the stars burn out
My day is done, I love the sound of no one coming by
Tomb beneath the trees
The name unsung, the darkness in the cracks

I am not what you have waited for

Trust, nothing is enough
This hunting ground
I need the freedom to control my own
I need the sound of rain
Wearing dependence down
The line must be kept so thin
To live near life, not within

No need to take the test before the dark must shine
Reflect my eyes and strip this creation of mine
Tomorrow is so long, the dead end king is here
Black wings upon his back

I am not what you have waited for

Trust, nothing is enough
This hunting ground
I need the freedom to control my own
I need the sound of rain
Wearing dependence down
The line must be kept so thin
To live near life, not within

[ivankiss]

I see you.

I see my DR crystal clearly right now.

It's beyond perfection. 

I broke through. Never felt this powerful, ever. I am the moon, I am the stars. I am the sea, I am the sky. The wind. The ground.

I AM THE LIGHT - THE LIGHT I AM

 

 

[ivankiss]

Goodnight meditation at 88bpm.

Delta waves. 

Ratio 1:2

[ivankiss]

[ivankiss]

[ivankiss]

On the concrete sky I saw the buildings rise

[ivankiss]

Holy Fuck! Ashe O'Hara, ex singer from Tesseract knows I exist! I'm so gay for his voice!

Best Album Ever

[ivankiss]

NO!
I tried so settle bets with my own soul
Bless my lips for the first time before you don't
Gripping to the last touch of your hand I grow to loathe
Hope that you remeber just how far I'll go
Spend the rest of my life wishing I'm enough
Resist!
Resist!
Resist!
Resist!

[ivankiss]

I am losing interest in thought. It is not as entertaining as once. I know how it moves. I know its shapes and forms. Its curves and its edges. Timeless snapshots of The Divine.

Grounding my steps into feeling. I listen for the whispers. The voice that sings bellow the night. No one seems to notice the fall. No one seems to see the rising.

It's no surprise. Let them all sleep, while the earth gently weeps. They're better off without knowing. Let them dream through tomorrow's eyes.

With these hands I could write a story unknown to the keeper of dreams.

With these hands I could build a castle, capture unconditional joy in it, and kill what remains. With these hands I could move the mountains, and steal the moon from the sky.

These are not hands of a man.

I walk through the crowds, but I've never set foot on these lands.

At night, I die at peace. Because I know, I've got something that could never be bought or sold. Gained or lost. Traced or abandoned.

If only I could share it. If only you could see

The Sun.

 

[ivankiss]

Solitude answers all questions. Echoes swallowed by the night. Silence.

Meditation in the dark, on my favorite bench.

Soon to script WR1, 2 and 3.

[ivankiss]

Forgive me for deceiving you.. 

But you wanted to move forward.

[ivankiss]

Keeping it short and simple. Avoiding over-scripting. The purpose of this split is to attain a clearer view on the overall process. To organize the bits and pieces and accelerate the progress.

WR1:

Minor adjustments due to unexpected migration. The shift brings new gifts. Both physical and metaphysical. A slight but noticable change in style of expression, as well as appearance. Little to nothing remains from PR. Barely a memory.

The vision remains the same, merely the playground changes.

In this first phase, I spend most of my time in solitude. Little to no interactions. Mainly surface level dialogues. I moved to Italy primarily for one reason: money. That remains my focus. The rest of the gifts, that this city offers, will be unpacked later.

Money. Music. Fitness. 

That's all in a nutshell, for this phase.

WR2:

Moving to a bigger, more fancy apartment. Already attained a significant amount of money. My desired body-shape nearly fully built. First piece of music, born in this new chapter, is released. More interaction/socialization. Dating. Sex. Long, wild, fun, memorable nights. Starting to script the details of DR.

WR3:

Deep scripting of DR. Preparation. Closure of the chapter. Retrospect. Overview. All necessary lessons and skills learned and mastered. Transformation complete.

The wait is over.

[ivankiss]

I'd like to thank @Vision for inspiring me to do some digging on my personality type - INFJ. I find the information fascinating. Resonance is high.

Back when I took the test, I did not want to get too attached to the result. I took it all with a grain of salt. But now that I'm in this phase of character development, it seems relevant to dive a bit deeper into it and connect some dots. Fun!

[ivankiss]

The struggle is real.

[ivankiss]

 

[ivankiss]

Calling it for today. Masturbation. Meditation.

Sleep.