The Script

[ivankiss]

One of my favorite techniques for accessing all kinds of states, and achieving all kinds of results, is The Breath Of Fire.

This kind sir explains very well how to properly do this technique.

[ivankiss]

Feeling a bit sleepy. Love power-naps.

About to go deeper, match some of those yummy, pure delta waves.

[ivankiss]

RETROSPECT

Burning bridges as I cower beneath
Trying to salvage the debris
My devotion tied around your waist, lest you fall
No one seems to sense the strain, no one seems to know

I don't begin to proclaim that I know
I can't continue down this road

Dwelling on what has come to pass
No force alive will bring it back
I would know

I can feel the pressure getting steeper with every life lost
You hope that I won't see the light of day in time to come

With no conviction founded just
Judgement contorted based on lust
Give me strength

Your assumption brings to a conclusion of no consequence
And I refuse to play into your hands for your appeal

Inadequate
Inadequate
I know
I know
I know
I know
I've hoped
I've hoped
You'll see me

[ivankiss]

ACQUIRED TASTE

Dive deep into the
Subconscious layers
Be careful not to sink

Stay out, be free
Don't enter this abyss
That's where I go to think

Enjoy the restrictions
Be glad you can feel the sting
Silent compassion
Won't lead to anything

Out of the dark
Nowhere to start
Tainted words
Pieces apart
Acquired taste

In control of it all
What were you thinking?
As if you can put an end to this

Rest now, tomorrow
You can make it all OK
Prepare a day you will not miss

Bring forth your gift
Made from pure belief
Be sure no one finds out
Be sure no one finds out why

Stay in the cold
You will see
Someone else will leave your mark

To be sold
So you're free
You'll be drawn out of the dark

Nowhere to start
Tainted words
Pieces apart

[ivankiss]

These songs are a perfect reflection of my current, ongoing thought and emotion processing.

Shedding some skin. 

[ivankiss]

INTO THE WHITE

Into the white
The scent of fire behind
First steps to freedom
Are lighter than we ever knew

Called through the cold
We hold our daughters close
And sing to our sons
Change will surely come

Into the white
Broken faith leaves scars behind
We embrace them
Carry broken shackles by our side

Called through the cold
We hold our daughters close
And sing to our sons
Change will surely come

We left our prayers with our old gods
White hand, release
Leaves in the fading smoke
So easy to forget
The voice that never spoke

Walking our own road
Each step, each breath
We are fighting for our lives
And we are losing every one
The things we gave up for a dream
We are still waiting for
And still we hold on

In time

Into the white
The road is mine, and I am his
Our last steps as free men
Proud at the end
It comes to this

Called through the cold
Road to a home we'll never know
We gave to our sons
A heavy burdened hope

We left our prayers with our old gods
Hold on
Till dawn
Lost like our steps in snow
So easy to forget the way
The road we make, we own

Walking our own road
Each step, each breath
We are fighting for our lives
And we are losing every one
The things we gave up for a dream
We are still waiting for

We were so young then
Firelight holds their peace
Sing a farewell by smoke in the cold
We farewell the old
As they fall
As they fall
Into silence
As they fall to silence
Fall
Into silence
As they fall to silence
To silence

[ivankiss]

MARIGOLD

Take it all
I never needed any more
Than days on days and gentle nights
When nothing could stop me

Keep it safe
Take its secrets to the grave
When I was the king
Just for that one day
When nothing could stop me

Feed my soul
Force a smile, ignore the hole
Wishing like hell that I was still god
With nothing above me

Read my eyes
Weary lines
Taking what's mine
Just soil below and nothing above me

Feed my soul 
Marigold
And I'd rather starve than choke what's killing me down

Give me heresy
We were never told the truth
The world that spoke, calm these hands
Before they can reach your throat
Give me eyes to see her never growing old
Good news
They hope you choke
Take heart
It's all fool's gold...

Leave me there
Pockets full of empty air
Paying my penance, curse this prayer
Regret never touched me

'Cause she will stay
Dressed in choices that I made
Head like a king, but crown like a gravestone
Don't touch me

Feed my soul 
Marigold
And I'd rather starve than choke what's killing me down

Give me heresy
We were never told the truth
The world that spoke, calm these hands
Before they can reach your throat
Give me eyes to see her never growing old
Good news
They hope you choke
Take heart
It's all fool's gold...

With these hands, I could change the world
More than gold, more than I deserve
I'm a wealthy man, I am loved
Tell me hope's not lost
Soon you'll see I can't take it with me
When to nothing I fade, gone, borne by the choices I made
I'm a wealthy man, I am loved
Tell me hope's not lost
Soon you'll see I can't take it with me
When to nothing I fade, gone, borne by the choices I made

Wake up, wake up, and soon you'll see that all hope is not lost
Not gone

[ivankiss]

So many memories tied to these songs...

I'm on an airplane, 5 years ago, flying straight into my DR. Listening to all this incredible music. Completely unaware of the magnitude... the sheer epicness, that was ahead of me. It was unimaginable.

I planted many seeds in all these songs for myself. I left tons of messages. It all secured a fast and rather intense awakening experience. Clearly; a work of a mastermind.

Regarding the script...

I do not want to superimpose, overlay, or force concepts upon one-another. I do not want to paint across an old painting. It only makes sense to whipe stuff out. I need more space. Space to fill with clarity.

Letting go is not an issue. But man do I feel the pain of loss deeply... I guess it's just the price I pay for being so invested.

The Sun is out, life is just outside of my window. I'll join in, any time now. 

But first; I sit with Death a bit more.

 

[ivankiss]

AS DEATH EMBRACES

Forgive my daily sins
Seal them under my skin
For once I watched you fly
Leaving your wings behind
The path of fate has gone astray
The brightest skies have turned to grey

[ivankiss]

You, who are out there, far, gazing at the same stars, howling at the same moon, as others before you once did, and those yet to come, shall too -

I see You, and I love You.

We are One in Heart, One in Mind.

Blessed be your name. 

Heros are real. Their magic is frozen in time.

[ivankiss]

That went quite deep, quite fast.

Some tears were shed. Feeling much lighter, calmer. About to do a short meditation session, and then I've got some organisation work to do. 

The rest of the day is dedicated to relaxation, self-care, creativity, maybe some socialization. 

Might go for a nice, long walk.

[ivankiss]

Order. Clarity.

Everything is put in its place. No disturbance.

Feeling fresh and beautiful. Calm. Centered. Going for that walk right now. I might see a familiar face.

[ivankiss]

A very pleasant walk and brief interaction with a friend. Back at the base. 

Feeling loved and supported. Abundant.

At times I get this urge to fast forward through life, and skip the boring parts of this transformation. I feel so close to my DR, but it's still quite far away. I know this will take some time to unfold.

Feeling confident about securing that job tomorrow and slowly stepping into the WR.

It's a room with a nice view.

[ivankiss]

About to do a short meditation with the metronome. Slowing down. Diving deeper.

Tempo: 78bmp

Ratio: 1 for 1

Including into the session some of those tasty, pure Theta Waves. Visualisation.

 

[ivankiss]

Anchoring higher consciousness, right now.

Heart - rate is precisely at 78bmp. Incredible. Body aligned and relaxed. The Breath moves through effortlessly. 

There was a disconnection in the solar plexus area. A contraction. Worked my way through it, nice and easy. Chest is brought forward and aligned, too.

A sweet insight during the ascension; visualization works best when close to death.

Picture it clearly, and give up The Breath.

 

[ivankiss]

There is some tuning that needs to be done on this instrument, but overall, the intonation is already pretty good.

Not too much side-noise, buzz or distortion. The notes are loud and clear. The dynamics I can get with it are great, too. 

Mainly noticing signs of neglect, and to that the answer is love and care. Warmth.

Should play like new, in no time.

 

[ivankiss]

This current perceived timeline is a singular frequency. I have access to the source of it. The generator. It's only a few steps away from where I'm at right now - so to speak.

But, I do not know how to manipulate, change or alter the frequency directly via consciousness. Not entirely.

Unexplored territory.

[ivankiss]

The answer is: At Will. Of course.

I can alter the frequency at will. But there is a polar response to that action. An automatic pull in the opposite direction. It is a belief that says that it's not possible.

Interesting.

[ivankiss]

In my current understanding; a belief is a crystallized point of view. It is a lense. A distortion.

In theory; all I have to do is look at it from another angle, and it should dissolve in that Light.

[ivankiss]

Well, that was a fun little ride. Nice contemplation. Wonderful meditation. Powerful visualization. Some bonus insights.

Feeling grateful and at ease.

Calling it for today. Shifting from Theta to Delta waves. Off to bed, slowly.

God is gracious.