Going On First "Real" Date! Will Take Any Advice!

[Rilles]

I've been in a relationship before for 3 years but that didnt start with a date and we kind of knew eachother already, anyways I digress.

I found a girl on a dating app and were going to get some coffee this week, I have never been on a real date before so I'm very nervous. Talking to someone on here I think could be helpful, what should I do to calm my nerves? What happens if I get in an akward silence? How do I end the date when I feel like we've gotten to know eachother and should meet again? Etc.

 

[Raptorsin7]

@Rilles I think your framing can have a big impact on your nerves here.

Just think of it as you're trying to be a good guy and get to know her on the date. Your body language and energy will be much more important the content of what you're saying. Try and find some common ground and something you both like discussing.

At the end of the date you don't have to do anything, just say good bye. If there's mutual attraction, the fact that you didn't make a move early won't hurt you. You can text her maybe that night saying you had a good time etc if you want to see her again.

If you are overly nervous and a wreck it's going to be unattractive lol, so worst case this is just practice and you will be less nervous the next time around.

I've been on a bunch of dates, but i've never been in a relationship so kinda opposite of you, and I found that if I just relaxed and acted with some confidence and calm that woman really resonated. But I can't say I planned that in advance, it was just kind of spontaneous 

[Rilles]

11 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Rilles I think your framing can have a big impact on your nerves here.

Totally, I try to see it as a fun experience, Im not looking for the love of my life ya know, just having fun, putting myself out there. 

Just think of it as you're trying to be a good guy and get to know her on the date. Your body language and energy will be much more important the content of what you're saying. Try and find some common ground and something you both like discussing.

Thats a very interesting take... So just try to move my body in slow motion, I tend to be very stiff and quick when Im nervous. Maybe fumbly is a good word. Relaaaxing is good. 

At the end of the date you don't have to do anything, just say good bye. If there's mutual attraction, the fact that you didn't make a move early won't hurt you. You can text her maybe that night saying you had a good time etc if you want to see her again.

Yeah, no, I definitely wont try to escalate in a cafe haha, I will ask her for a second date if it feels right. 

If you are overly nervous and a wreck it's going to be unattractive lol, so worst case this is just practice and you will be less nervous the next time around.

I've been on a bunch of dates, but i've never been in a relationship so kinda opposite of you, and I found that if I just relaxed and acted with some confidence and calm that woman really resonated. But I can't say I planned that in advance, it was just kind of spontaneous.

For me the relationships are fun and easy, I really enjoy them, its the getting to know part that is taxing, lol.

Thanks for your advice my dude! 

 

[JonasVE12]

Get into a social mood before the date so when you arrive, you are already in the zone. Interact with strangers on the street, ask a question and then roll into a short conversation. Do this with 10 strangers before the date and you'll feel much more calm when you arrive.

When I go on dates, I'll always make sure I connect with people on my way to the date location. I'll also make sure there are some women I'll talk to as well so I'm already getting into the flow. 

[Rilles]

1 hour ago, JonasVE12 said:

Get into a social mood before the date so when you arrive, you are already in the zone. Interact with strangers on the street, ask a question and then roll into a short conversation. Do this with 10 strangers before the date and you'll feel much more calm when you arrive.

When I go on dates, I'll always make sure I connect with people on my way to the date location. I'll also make sure there are some women I'll talk to as well so I'm already getting into the flow. 

Thats a great idea! I definitely become more social when I have warmed up so to speak, I will have classes in uni before the date so maybe I can chat with some people there. Thanks for the tip!