Being perfectly ok with being alone

[ROOBIO]

I am getting to the point in my development where there is little impulse to seek socialisation/social validation.

There are no negative feelings of anxiety, or loneliness when I am alone. I don't need to seek socialisation, I only do so when I actually want to, not because i feel I have too. To be honest, i feel like I can go through live, with no friends, not needing to have a family,  not having a relationship and be ok. 

It really makes me think that there is no point of being a parent, I only felt like i needed to be a parent because I come from an Indian background. This feels very freeing. A lot of my previous desires are changing and that is scary. 

Is the normal while self actualizing?

[asifarahim]

Can u teach me how u achieved happiness in loneliness.i am trying desperatly for this

[ROOBIO]

 

20 minutes ago, asifarahim said:

Can u teach me how u achieved happiness in loneliness.i am trying desperatly for this

Sure, I have been practicing this for years and it has just starting to become normal. Firstly started with spiritual practices like daily mediations and going to retreats. The retreats helped massively. For the past year in covid i thought it was a really good time to become comfortable with loneliness. Move moved city away from everyone I knew. For the past year I have been in isolation, I told my family what I was doing and don't expect much contact for the year. It was really painfull, I experienced a lot of axiety and mental craziness, I felt like the urge to call parents everyday (my inner child was screaming for comfort), to seek connection with others, I just resisted that urge. It was interesting,  I saw it as an addiction, I was addicted to seeking connection and validation from other people. You just sit through the urges, if they get bad go for a walk, over time you work through them. The feelings arise less often, and eventually die down. Sometimes they do come but less often and less intense.

They important thing I found is to NOT run away from the feelings. Experience them fully. I felt when I was experiencing loneliness my other addictions arose to cover up those feelings. Like the urge to eat crap, to masterbate etc try not to give in to those feelings as well. And if you do dont beat urself up, ask urself why you need to do eat this, did it really solve the issue?

Edited August 29, 2021 by ROOBIO

[asifarahim]

Thnks.i found some wisdom

 

[Goldzilla]

Why is this difficult? 

[Tim R]

@Goldzilla Because human beings are very, very social animals. All apes live in groups. And a lonely ape will die quickly. No group of apes will accept and take a loner ape into their group. Being alone goes somewhat against our nature.

Edited August 29, 2021 by Tim R

[Goldzilla]

57 minutes ago, Tim R said:

@Goldzilla Because human beings are very, very social animals. All apes live in groups. And a lonely ape will die quickly. No group of apes will accept and take a loner ape into their group. Being alone goes somewhat against our nature.

We are humans not apes. Apes come from same ancestor. We don't come from apes. 

Edited August 29, 2021 by Goldzilla

[Tim R]

@Goldzilla Actually yes, we are apes.

Look up what constitutes "apes". We are very, very closely related to chimps, gorillas and orangutans.

We are really not that different from them. Especially Chimps and Bonobos since they, together with us, are part of the Hominini.

Edited August 29, 2021 by Tim R

[Goldzilla]

48 minutes ago, Tim R said:

@Goldzilla Actually yes, we are apes.

Look up what constitutes "apes". We are very, very closely related to chimps, gorillas and orangutans.

We are really not that different from them. Especially Chimps and Bonobos since they, together with us, are part of the Hominini.

Maybe you are. Namaste. 

[ROOBIO]

what are you lot chatting about