I love this guy

[Hulia]

I love this guy. I feel, he is so much like me.. He also looks like one of my classmates Slava Bukhtiyarov, no-no, I had nothing with him, but my firend. 

I also feel like I have been a male many times in ma previous lives. Not that I love football and beer, no; I hate them, I like rather art, but I don´t really correspond to all that silly jokes about the difference between men and women. I don´t feel like woman decribed in that jokes. I hate also how everybody says: "Mädels von der Buchhaltung" - "girls from the accounting". I shouder, when I hear it. First of all they are not the girls any more, and secondly it implements  - they have to behave in a certain way, and I hate this way. 

The next episode, I will watch, is "love rationally explained".

It would be interesting to a convo between this guy and Leo. 

 

[Hulia]

His life is incredible. He is so rational and educated. But he hasn´t got a real education, because he was sent to a christian school where the taught him rubbish and abused his mentality severely. He educated himself on his own. His craving for freedom and knowledge is breath-taking. 

[Hulia]

I think, because he himself experienced abuse by a religious community as a child, he would never justify Taliban´s actions by their difficult childhood or condemn afghan people to the slavery because of their low SD stage. He was there - in slavery, in abuse, on low SD stage, but he´s got out of that misery maybe not without the help of others.

 

 

[Hulia]

@Knowledge Hoarder It might be. But think, where he is coming from. Radical christian community. He didn´t even go to school. It´s almost impossible, that he has got where he is now. He has made a longer way than Leo. Speaking about the favourate thing of this place - SD, he is able to embrace all the stages behind him being where he is now. 

Besides I like the emphasis on collective, in my opinion Leo is missing the collective perspective.

Anyways I think Leo and Morgue could help each other with their biases. In other words I´d like listen to them speaking to each other. 

[Hulia]

"You want to have both – rational understanding and experience. But rational understanding is more important. I´ve met both kinds of people. I´ve met people who intuitively know that we are one, but they completely lack the rational understanding of it, and honestly they are not very smart, I don´t want to be mean, but they a kind of stupid, but they might be very nice and compassionate, but they miss it on so many levels...

And then I met people who only understand it rationally and they became like calculators and they are completely missing a very important element, they are missing – life.. the vibrancy.. the artist side of it.. this is something which is difficult to put into words."

[Preety_India]

Have you fallen in love with Morgue? 

 

[Preety_India]

@Hulia I truly believe Hulia that he has made a tremendous contribution. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Marcel omg what? 

I was so much into Morgue. I couldn't afford his books. 

But I used to watch him so much last year. 

He is mentioned in some of my old journals. 

I was very addicted to him for some time. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

@Marcel

So this is my journal entry from last year where I teased Morgue a bit in my journal. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Marcel I guess my German connection goes deeper and far back in time. 

 

[Hulia]

On 30.8.2021 at 2:46 AM, Preety_India said:

Have you fallen in love with Morgue? 

 

I think yes. When I look at him I see me. Difficult to explain. I am not really like him. But I could be, if I had taken another way in life.

When I was a child, I liked imagining me speaking on public, explaining things to people. I always did it in front of mirror (no youtube at that time  ). When I look at Morgues speaking on camera, it´s like seeing me in front of mirror many years ago. 

I haven´t spoken a word untill 3 years old. But when I started to speak, nobody could stop me. It might be the reason why I spoke to mirror when nobody was at home. Later on a flow levelled. Now it is extremely diffucult for me to express myself verbally.  

Edited August 31, 2021 by Hulia

[Hulia]

Just watching his video about love. Love is unity. It is exactly how I would call it. Of course it was unity, I thought in every relationship. These special moments of unity. Even the short ones - before, during and after sex. 

[RickyFitts]

On 8/30/2021 at 3:52 AM, Preety_India said:

@Marcel I guess my German connection goes deeper and far back in time. 

 

Funnily enough, I'm also of German extraction on my dad's side (great-grandparents were German, my surname's actually German).

[Hulia]

@Marcel At the elementary school a teacher always asked me to tell a story to the class, when she needed to leave for some time. She knew, it would me quiet, 40 little scoundrels would listen to me. I invented the stories on spot mixing together all the story I´ve ever been reading. 

It´s a mystery to me, how I did it. Now it´s a problem to me to speak to more than 5-6 people all of them looking at me. And invent a story while looking at all these expecting faces? Impossible!

[Hulia]

But if you think, that the teacher liked this erudite kid, you are wrong. She hated me, probably because I was an opposite of her. I still remember very good this elementary school teacher -  small grey woman with a neat hairdo. 

Once she called me in front of the class, this time not to tell the story. I didn´t know what she wanted. She just took my arm and raised it: "You see?", - she asked the class. What they were supposed to see, that my hand was full of ink spots - such an unperfect hand. It struck me, that she treated me like an object. She didn´t even tell "Raise your hand", she did it herself. Terrible woman. I had average grades with her. Even in Russian only "good", though I was excellent in reading, in writing, in story-telling. But she didn´t like my hand-writing and ink spots, sometimes I got even miserable grades without having made any single mistake. Only one pupil was better than me - Roman - a small black-eyed boy. That´s why we beat each other´s heads with the books. I was sitting in the row near windows and he was sitting in the middle row, a little behind me, - he was definitely at an advantage. At the 5th class he left us, his father was a millitary man and they constantly moved. 

Edited September 1, 2021 by Hulia

[Hulia]

The punishment that this teacher used, was to let us stand up for some time. She let some selected kids sit down. Once when we were standing, Roman told, that he felt sick and asked if he could sit down. She didn´t allow, silly woman. You should be blind or dumb or both not to see how pale his face was. Besides why should he ask to sit down, if he hadn´t feel bad? She didn´t do any good to the kids who were allowed to sit when all the rest had to stand. Just a couple of seconds after she told "no", Roman fell on the floor unconscious. And then I experienced the teacher how I have never known her - emotional and uncontrollably in panic. She was afraid. She took Roman on her arms. And then this small old woman ran with him on her arms. We all were running after her and were loud, but she didn´t see or hear anything. 

The other time we had to stand while some kids were allowed to sit down. One girl, a new one, remained to stand, though the teacher allowed her to sit down. She told: I was also chatting like everyone else, why should I be differentiated? Soon afterwards we have become friends. I told her that she impressed me with that small honesty and rebellion. And she answered, that she just didn´t want to look bad in the eyes of other guys, who were already hissing at her.

There was a girl, who was neater and better dressed than the rest of us. Though we all had to wear ugly brown uniform. But hers was not brown, it was blue. Nobody had a blue dress, because in the shops only the brown ones were available. Everybody knew a blue one was not from our country. The teacher was always especially nice to her as to nobody else. My parents told that that girls´s father had a high position in the municipality. She always were allowed to sit when we were punished by standing. But it did no good to her, this special treatment and a blue uniform. Being also shy she got resentment.

That is what I remember from my elementary school time. Also a short episode when a shool director dropped in our class room. And the teacher has even got another voice, so thin and sweet as I never knew she was even capable of, this severe grey woman...

If I knew a secret. One slight touch at the heart and everything feels beauriful. I bet, not even an hour in a fish assana would cause this effect

 

 

Edited September 2, 2021 by Hulia