Tons of Insecurities Relating to Sex (Past Trauma)

[Austin Actualizing]

I've got a lot of insecurities relating to sexual performance and penis size. It all started with my first sexual experience when I was 17 (currently 23). The gal came over when my parents weren't home and one thing let to another. I was extremely nervous and I didn't know what I was doing. The girl made fun of me repeatedly and called me a virgin and laughed at me. I felt extremely crushed and it was after that moment I decided I wanted to get really get at sex. I read books on the topic, watched courses, practiced a lot, and ended up getting very good based on comments I received from girls.

As for the penis size insecurity, a gal I had hooked up with acted very irresponsive during sex. She would barely make a sound or react at all. I called her later and asked her about this and she said that it was because she couldn't really feel it and if I was a little bigger she would have reacted more. I later found out that, that wasn't the case and it was actually she has been raped multiple times and shuts down during sex. Immediately after that I researched ways to increase the size of my penis and ended up gaining half an inch after 3 months of exercise. Then I decided to just stop and accept what I have.

This insecurity got triggered again fairly recently when my current GF made a joke about my size and was just kidding but I took it to heart initially and started doing exercises again. Just to be clear with this next statement I'm not trying to brag, I'm just showing how deep this insecurity is and how it's illogical. She has had a fair amount of partners (17) and says that my penis is large and that I'm the best sex she has ever had. I had a conversation with her about my size and she says she doesn't want it to get any bigger. The first time she saw it she was a bit scared (she told me later). She has assured me it wouldn't make a difference and it may even hinder things potentially. I know she is being genuine and honest with me. Now even despite getting tons of compliments from her and others about my size and performance I still feel as though I'm not good enough. I know it's purely ego and it's ridiculous to get hung up on penis size and performance, especially when it's not an issue. I've read the six pillars of self-esteem and I meditate daily to help deal with my racing mind but I still don't feel confident in that area. How can I develop core confidence in all areas ideally or deal with this past trauma. I'm tired of this bothering me every day. Thank you in advance for the help  

[Strangeloop]

Ironically your picture is an ape. What do I mean? I mean that we are basically animals. We compare each other's dicks with each other on whoever is the strongest. Whoever has a big dick. Some things just happen to be a different way than imagined. It's in our nature to have insecurities. We either dodge the ball by not doing anything about it or we go out and take the best way possible in our capacity to be confident.

[hamedsf]

life's a competition and that applies to the size of the penis too.

I don't wanna brag but in past, I've seen black men on porn and just found most of their dingle-dangle smaller than mine.

well, some of middle eastern men might complain about their situation but they can't see the beauty of the toughness of middle eastern gene ?

[Federico del pueblo]

 

Read that post of mine in another similar thread, I don't think you need more than what I provided in that thread.

Just because there is competition and other guys with bigger dicks doesn't mean that you need to feel insecure about your own size, especially given how much you have educated yourself about sex, all this other stuff is more important than your size and if that's not true for one specific girl than don't sweat it either. You don't have to be the perfect match for every girl and you can get another one.

Stop porn if you're still watching it as it really doesn't help you with that kind of problem.

[Vzdoh]

Ladies perspective. 

It's a total myth that all women like big D. I had a few encounters with guys whose D was above 20cm and it was nothing more than a pain fest for me. Now I am smarter and if it is that big, I simply refuse to have sex. 

Golden spot is somewhere btw 12 and 20 for me personally. I can still enjoy the size, but don't feel the pain. 

My personal limit is 10cm. If its smaller than I don't feel much. 

But all women are different. Asian girls will most likely be OK with smaller than 10 and some of my GFs only date african guys - for u know what reason ????

So as long as your GF is happy with the size, it should be good. 

And I agree with her about not making it bigger, she is very well aware that probably she won't be able to take a bigger size. 

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