Do you keep attracting the same kind of a partner in relationships?

[Gianna]

If you keep attracting the same kind of a partner in relationships (like I have) I realized it is because you need to become that partner in order to actualize more of yourself, more of your potential. The universe will never stop giving you opportunities to integrate that which you are missing. It will never stop showing you back to yourself because we are living in a 360° mirroring hologram. 

 

To become one is to become your opposite. When you become your opposite without letting go of what you are, you become 'one' which is becoming 'whole'. You become whole which is self-realizing. You see yourself for the first time. You realize that you are everything and everything is you. You're fucked– in a sense– because it doesn't become a belief it becomes a knowing. Everyone will dismiss your knowing because no one believes the Truth (because they are not whole yet because they are still disgusted by their opposite). You're ostracized. 

Except it is not something to believe it is something to experience because it is the experience we are meant to have. You see, you only forget yourself so you can remember again. Because remembering is the most incredible experience you can have when you are infinite, which you are. It breaks my heart that we neglect ourselves; that we turn away from ourselves because we are taught to. But this is what is right now. If you follow your heart back to yourself (and not listen to the words of other people before doing it) you can find yourself which is finding Truth. The Truth is obvious, undeniable, and already. By definition, it is reality. Everyone already knows the truth because they ARE it. You just have to let yourself realize it. 

 

 

Edited August 27, 2021 by Gianna

[RickyFitts]

53 minutes ago, Gianna said:

If you keep attracting the same kind of a partner in relationships (like I have) I realized it is because you need to become that partner in order to actualize more of yourself, more of your potential. The universe will never stop giving you opportunities to integrate that which you are missing. It will never stop showing you back to yourself because we are living in a 360° mirroring hologram. 

I do keep attracting the same kind of partner, so I'm intrigued by this notion of becoming that partner - could you expand on this, what would it look like in practice?

 

56 minutes ago, Gianna said:

To become one is to become your opposite. When you become your opposite without letting go of what you are, you become 'one' which is becoming 'whole'. You become whole which is self-realizing. You see yourself for the first time. You realize that you are everything and everything is you. You're fucked– in a sense– because it doesn't become a belief it becomes a knowing.

This is so profound, and so beautiful 

[Gianna]

49 minutes ago, RickyFitts said:

I do keep attracting the same kind of partner, so I'm intrigued by this notion of becoming that partner - could you expand on this, what would it look like in practice?

Okay so here's an example from my own life: 

I'm single but dating and went on a few dates with this guy recently who is an exact replica of another guy (and another) I've dated in the past. What these two/three guys have in common is they all are super rigid in their daily routine. They wake up, they work, they gym, they eat, they shower, then they sleep. Haha. There is no room for magic in their lives. I am the exact opposite of this. I am completely unplanned, spontaneous, and cannot stick to a daily routine for the life of me. I think I wrote a thread on this because I know it'll start to become a problem when trying to actualize my potential.

Anyway, I realized that I was attracting this type of person (the type that I resent because I hateee rigidity and have a lot of resistance towards routines) and so I meditated/contemplated on it and came up with this ^^ (my first post). If I want to actualize my potential, I need to be willing to stick to something like these guys do. The last guy has an entire business he created because of it. I might be self-realized but I will not be self-actualized until I can build something and that means I need to integrate these qualities. 

[SamC]

5 hours ago, Gianna said:

If you keep attracting the same kind of a partner in relationships (like I have) I realized it is because you need to become that partner in order to actualize more of yourself, more of your potential. The universe will never stop giving you opportunities to integrate that which you are missing. It will never stop showing you back to yourself because we are living in a 360° mirroring hologram. 

 

To become one is to become your opposite. When you become your opposite without letting go of what you are, you become 'one' which is becoming 'whole'. You become whole which is self-realizing. You see yourself for the first time. You realize that you are everything and everything is you. You're fucked– in a sense– because it doesn't become a belief it becomes a knowing. Everyone will dismiss your knowing because no one believes the Truth (because they are not whole yet because they are still disgusted by their opposite). You're ostracized. 

Except it is not something to believe it is something to experience because it is the experience we are meant to have. You see, you only forget yourself so you can remember again. Because remembering is the most incredible experience you can have when you are infinite, which you are. It breaks my heart that we neglect ourselves; that we turn away from ourselves because we are taught to. But this is what is right now. If you follow your heart back to yourself (and not listen to the words of other people before doing it) you can find yourself which is finding Truth. The Truth is obvious, undeniable, and already. By definition, it is reality. Everyone already knows the truth because they ARE it. You just have to let yourself realize it. 

 

 

Does this mean that we attract a part of ourselves that we disown/ reject?

I only attract girls who are depressed or emotionally Ill/ have a victim mentality ( learned helplessness). Does this mean I disown me feeling like a victim? Huh. Maybe, it's an interesting idea.

@Gianna

Edited August 27, 2021 by SamC

[RickyFitts]

3 hours ago, Gianna said:

Anyway, I realized that I was attracting this type of person (the type that I resent because I hateee rigidity and have a lot of resistance towards routines) and so I meditated/contemplated on it and came up with this ^^ (my first post). If I want to actualize my potential, I need to be willing to stick to something like these guys do. The last guy has an entire business he created because of it. I might be self-realized but I will not be self-actualized until I can build something and that means I need to integrate these qualities. 

Right, so you need to integrate those qualities whilst making sure that you don't let go of who you are (as you said in your first post) in order to realise your potential - that's so interesting, thank you for elaborating 

You have so much potential, Gianna, I so hope that you can realise it - and I'm sure you will  

[Gianna]

4 hours ago, SamC said:

Does this mean that we attract a part of ourselves that we disown/ reject?

Yes. Whether it is in your subconscious mind (disowned and rejected) or in your conscious mind (owned and allowed), it is still a vibration you hold and thus will be attracted to you for you to integrate or simply witness. 

Do you allow yourself to depend on others? To be taken care of by others? Or are you overly independent/separated from the world? Healthy interdependence may be the resolution your higher self is after! The amalgamation of both dependence and independence. But I am not 100% sure of course since I know little about the situation  A lot depends on how you react to such a girl. 

Edited August 28, 2021 by Gianna

[Hulia]

I attract very different types of men. No special type really. Does it mean that I have integrated everything already? It might be. I have no shadows, no depths, no secrets. 

But there is a certain type of men (and women) who are annoyed by me. Perfectionists. People who like order, predictability, lists. With a trace of arrogance. I wonder what does it mean. I bet, we will end up by hating each other - with my 3rd director. She told me, she hates it, when one column is wider than another one. Oh my god!

Maybe this is the reason why there were not really intelectual types of men around me, mostly simple peasants

 Nobody to talk to. But on the other hand it´s better to have a peasant around you than a stupid intellectual thinking he is smart. 

[Preety_India]

9 hours ago, SamC said:

Does this mean that we attract a part of ourselves that we disown/ reject?

I only attract girls who are depressed or emotionally Ill/ have a victim mentality ( learned helplessness). Does this mean I disown me feeling like a victim? Huh. Maybe, it's an interesting idea.

@Gianna

You might want to work on your self esteem. 

 

[RickyFitts]

15 minutes ago, Hulia said:

Nobody to talk to. But on the other hand it´s better to have a peasant around you than a stupid intellectual thinking he is smart. 

Ain't that just the truth 

[Hulia]

@Preety_India What kind of men do you usually attract?

[Preety_India]

@Hulia in the past, mostly narcissists and love bombers. 

[Hulia]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

@Hulia in the past, mostly narcissists and love bombers. 

I wonder if it means you need to integrate a narcisstic part into you?

[Preety_India]

Just now, Hulia said:

I wonder if it means you need to integrate a narcisstic part into you?

Maybe. 

[Hulia]

Actually if I give another thought.. I attract men who are afraid of intimacy, closeness, relationships. I don´t know what they want from me. It´s often not even sex. Why they just don´t stay in their caves but hatch out for me.

And it cannot be, that I need to integrate this fear? Actually I have integrated it. But it doesn´t make any sense.

[SamC]

13 hours ago, Marcel said:

"Our environment is but our looking glass " - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I used to be attracted to the same type of girls your described.

And you guessed correctly, i was in that exact same state.

Now that i am improving and  working on my self every day, the intimate partner i am now in a relationship with is exactly like me.

INTP- Personality, stage green spiral dynamics, radically open minded, and on and on and on. 

The amount of similarities i share with my girlfriend are mind boggling.

For some reason i never attracted my opposite like you @Gianna

I always attracted my mirror selfs.

In a suicidal state like in my past or in a positive and loving state like right now.

 

Interesting, thank you for sharing!

[SamC]

4 hours ago, Hulia said:

I attract very different types of men. No special type really. Does it mean that I have integrated everything already? It might be. I have no shadows, no depths, no secrets. 

But there is a certain type of men (and women) who are annoyed by me. Perfectionists. People who like order, predictability, lists. With a trace of arrogance. I wonder what does it mean. I bet, we will end up by hating each other - with my 3rd director. She told me, she hates it, when one column is wider than another one. Oh my god!

Maybe this is the reason why there were not really intelectual types of men around me, mostly simple peasants

 Nobody to talk to. But on the other hand it´s better to have a peasant around you than a stupid intellectual thinking he is smart. 

What's your MBTI? @Hulia

 

9 hours ago, Gianna said:

Yes. Whether it is in your subconscious mind (disowned and rejected) or in your conscious mind (owned and allowed), it is still a vibration you hold and thus will be attracted to you for you to integrate or simply witness. 

Doesn't this mean we attract the opposite of ourselves as a self concept but the same on a shadow level?

Quote

Do you allow yourself to depend on others? To be taken care of by others? Or are you overly independent/separated from the world?

Hard to tell. I think I want to be independent while I am not in reality. I am afraid that I'll be a victim, which is what I run away from. I want to have control and because of that I become codependent on other people, hence why I attract girls who are depressed.

Healthy interdependence may be the resolution your higher self is after! The amalgamation of both dependence and independence. But I am not 100% sure of course since I know little about the situation  A lot depends on how you react to such a girl. 

I think what I am looking for is first integrating my victim mentality which is a shadow feminine element, and than help another part of me get in touch with itself ( my masculine, monster part) so that it can help the part of me that feels helpless and unsafe. @Gianna

 

Edited August 28, 2021 by SamC

[Hulia]

17 minutes ago, SamC said:

What's your MBTI?

This forum is funny.?  I don´t know!! And guess what, it doesn´t interest me!

What is it good for to know what combination of 4 letters you are?

Dependent on situation, people, my mood I can be a different person. I am not even the same as I was an hour ago. No interest in putting my self in one or another category.

[SamC]

6 hours ago, Hulia said:

This forum is funny.?  I don´t know!! And guess what, it doesn´t interest me!

What is it good for to know what combination of 4 letters you are?

Dependent on situation, people, my mood I can be a different person. I am not even the same as I was an hour ago. No interest in putting my self in one or another category.

@Hulia That answer is enough in of it self. XDXD would love to know If you consider yourself the opposite of a perfectionist and in what ways if you want to share. ( just because I am curios)

[Hulia]

1 hour ago, SamC said:

@Hulia That answer is enough in of it self. XDXD would love to know If you consider yourself the opposite of a perfectionist and in what ways if you want to share. ( just because I am curios)

Sometimes I am a perfectionist and sometimes don´t give a shit. I always set priorities.