LSD Trip Report- God realization

[tlowedajuicemayne]

Had my first experience of God on LSD in April and this song was playing in my headphones at the time (Sea of voices by Porter robinson). Earlier that day I'd taken one tab of LSD and about 8 hours had gone by at this point. I had some small insights during the lsd experience but nothing crazy. I smoked a little weed with some friends thinking that the trip was over. It wasn't. Once the weed hit my system it knocked the wind out of my lungs. I got an intense feeling that I should be alone in a dark, quiet place. I told my friends that I was being called to be alone and I went into an empty bedroom with my meditation cushion. I sat down on the cushion and waited. The room glowed and colors were vibrant. I looked at the large California king bed in front of me with its large solid oak frame. The lines in the wood wiggled and swirled around in a pretty way. Then all of a sudden the bed and I entered dharma transmission. Full on telepathy. It spoke to me directly without words and it told me its secrets. We engaged in dharma war. I don't know how to explain what that is, i don't think that there are words for this kind of thing. But essentially, I showed it my spiritual practice and it showed me how to deepen it. I deepened it, and met it on a deeper level and it showed me how to go deeper. We did this together time and time again and every time I met it on deeper levels it was happy and excited that I was able to do it! It was pleased that I was practicing this without psychedelics and that I had meditative insights without drugs. The bed and I engaged in telepathy until i was conscious enough to begin showing the bed how to go deeper and expand its understanding. It was so pleased! Suddenly my attention shifted. I looked around the room and began to notice that all of history has led me to this very moment. I saw the light come in through the blinds, the dust in the air, the little items on the bed frame and realized that everything that ever occurred in my life led me here. To this moment, in this place. 

I didn't know what was about to take place in the coming moments.

I spent a while looking around at the room and noticing how beautiful it was. I would occasionally go into a dharma transmission (telepathy) with inanimate objects and liberate them. The world was pleased. 

Suddenly,

Out of nowhere I put my hands in the prayer motion, It was as my body were being controlled and had no autonomy. Tears rolled down my cheeks but I didn't know why. I began to witness all of the things that I had done in my life (as a human), it passed me by in a single second yet I saw everything with profound clarity. The good and the bad, the ugly. The bad things that I had done struck me mercilessly to my very core. I felt so awful about myself and how ugly I was. Then suddenly, out of nowhere I bow as hard as I can. I pressed my face against the floor so hard I nearly broke my jaw. Then it happened to me. God. GOD. GOD!!!

IT took one look at all of my ugliness, evil, self hatred, pity, envy, jealousy and all the things that make me terrible and before I could even speak a word, I was immediately forgiven. I let out a cry so hard it was as if I'd never breathed air before. I let out all the air in my lungs in a single breath I cried so hard. I've never felt acceptance like that. I didn't know love like that was even possible. I couldn't see God, I could only see white light but I knew it was there, just out of view. I dared not look, it was far too Holy to even dream of looking at directly. The divinity was so intense that I didn't' dare to even breathe. I let out all the air in my lungs and choked...then before I passed out, It breathed life into me and I breathed it out...choked till i almost passed out...etc. As I was nearly passing out again and again, it was pure ecstacy. Choking and nearly dying again and again was pure bliss. When I thought it couldn't get any better, a feeling came over me that said 'look at me!' and I looked up and I saw God Directly. I was shocked to my core. It wasn't a man in the clouds, not a ruler, a king, or a transcendent being. It was a bed, a blanket, the sun coming in through the blinds, the carpet, the walls. It was physical reality. I looked down at my hands, and saw that I was also it. I looked at my hands and saw that they were made of the same material as everything else. Suddenly I became one with the fabric of reality. I was alone, as my Self. No more tears, no more divinity, no more special-ness, just I AM. A thought appeared that said 'What is it?' and my attention focused so hard on a point in space, smaller than an atom. I focused so hard, yet effortlessly till space and time itself broke open and what was there? What was I made of? Nothing at all....NOTHING. Emptiness. Forever. I laughed harder than I'd ever laughed in my life. Of course its nothing! How could I have ever forgotten this?

[Thought Art]

Namaste

[Adamq8]

Nice one sounds you got the whole shebang lol ?

It is very weird that feeling of, everything that has ever happend was meant to be so that you could experience exactly that moment and have exactly that realization, truly divine 

[The0Self]

6 minutes ago, Adamq8 said:

Nice one sounds you got the whole shebang lol ?

It is very weird that feeling of, everything that has ever happend was meant to be so that you could experience exactly that moment and have exactly that realization, truly divine 

In my experience it was a bit more like the realization itself created the apparent story of everything that ever happened that led up to it, by transcending time.

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, tlowedajuicemayne said:

A thought appeared that said 'What is it?' and my attention focused so hard on a point in space, smaller than an atom. I focused so hard, yet effortlessly till space and time itself broke open and what was there? What was I made of? Nothing at all....NOTHING. Emptiness. Forever. I laughed harder than I'd ever laughed in my life. Of course its nothing! How could I have ever forgotten this?

That's it!

Namaste

[Adamq8]

2 hours ago, The0Self said:

In my experience it was a bit more like the realization itself created the apparent story of everything that ever happened that led up to it, by transcending time.

Thats probably a more correct insight imo

[taotemu]

Wow!  Awesome report.  LSD is powerful medicine and cannabis does seem to work synergistically with it in powerful ways.  I have mixed the two only once but I didn't experience anything like you shared.  But I can appreciate how it takes the come down from the LSD trip (8 hours in) and launches it into a whole other space that neither drug can do alone.  Perhaps my next trip I'll be more deliberate about it and combine the two before I move into solitude to help focus consciousness.  

[OBEler]

@tlowedajuicemayne what is your spiritual background for such a profound trip. which dose did you have? I am impressed

[Breakingthewall]

The best trip report i read

[Goldzilla]

Still on the state of God? Or it settled down? 

[Goldzilla]

Congrats for the trip. 

[Goldzilla]

I'd recommend you to stay awake if you can atleast 1 night. So your experience will be beneficial for yourself in the long run. ?

[Godishere]

@tlowedajuicemayne nice. I liked how you said every moment in history lead to that exact point as the fiction is. It really does feel like that. Within the dream, you think I'm just taking a psychedelic, but then you look back at every point leading to your awakening and it was all just a master plan, planned from the highest good and Love. Everytime it just drops my jaw to the floor in shock and bliss.

[tlowedajuicemayne]

@OBEler I've been a zazen practitioner for about 6 years. Nothing crazy really. I go to sesshin (5 day retreats) 4-6 times a year because I live at a zen center but outside of that I'm just an ordinary lay practitioner. As far as dose, I only take one tab under the tongue (maybe 150ug) and that's it.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, tlowedajuicemayne said:

 I've been a zazen practitioner for about 6 years.

Mu

[tlowedajuicemayne]

 @Leo Gura Hey that's my koan! 

[Inliytened1]

@tlowedajuicemayne i wanted to maKe a comment - but honestly what words are there even to say here?  I'm sure even your words are a feeble attempt to describe it..it only describes a small fraction of the awakening and the rest is just too profound to even put into words...  But I can feel the Divinity and the Love of God in your words.  Happy for you.   Namaste ?

[caelanb]

@tlowedajuicemayne How do you know this isn't a massive hallucination, which triggered emotions so intense you have never experienced before?

[Gabith]

How can it be nothing ?

[Tim R]

@tlowedajuicemayne Beautiful, I really enjoyed reading that story