Accidental Ego Replacement, a doorway to the Occult and God.

[JuliusCaesar]

Being my first post, I decided it would be best to describe the first experience I had which caused me to seriously question reality. The setting is sometime in August of 2018, I'm in my Grandfather's house listening to my own voice on his answering machine and I hate it. It sounds way too deep I think, not like most of the other male voices I hear and not like it sounds to me in 1st person. So I decide to change it by doing impressions of someone who's voice I like. Therefore, I searched my memory for every instance of a male voice on tv or online that I would find suitable. And I chose Karl Urban playing Julius Caesar in an episode of Hercules the Legendary Journeys called "Render unto Caesar".

 

I watched through the episode and took timestamps of all the scenes including Caesar. The plan was to watch them all 3 times and to basically pretend that I am him. This practice mostly consisted of me repeating all the things he said in my head. My logic was that I could get a taste subconsciously of how his voice sounded, and would gradually change my voice to his so as to not arouse suspicion from the people around me. So after one morning of this practice, I went to visit my Grandfather as my aunt and uncle were in town staying with him. We visited my Grandmother's grave site which was about an hour drive from the house. We had eaten at Wendy's on the way, and my aunt is lactose intolerant which becomes relevant on the return trip. She had a lactose intolerance episode on the way back, and as it was occurring, I also experienced the same massive indigestion and subsequent pain she did even though I am not lactose intolerant myself. When I became aware of what had happened to me, I sort of panicked within myself. "Lactose intolerance is a communicable disease... how could this be so? Am I losing my mind? No, I'm perfectly sober this is definitely a real experience. But how the hell is this even possible?" And then I started to become aware of subtle changes in my personality. For example, later in the evening we ate at Old Chicago.

 

At the table, I was contemplating the strange occurrences and essentially realized that there's a definite link between mind and body, such that at some level it's as if thoughts are emotions are your personality which is your physical body, if you change any one of these it will bring about change in all the others, the more significant the change the more noticeable and impactful this is. From this realization arose the notion that my mind had altered my brain and body chemistry in the incident, from that came the realization that there is also no difference between my thoughts and physical objects/people or anything else in the universe. However, there is an experiential difference between my mind and the universe. So I realized that there was a barrier between my mind and the universe such that the barrier could be removed, partially or all the way. From this arises the realization that if my mind and reality became one, anything I would think about would immediately materialize. Then my uncle asked me what I had been doing. And I said, "Learning to control reality". To which he replied something of the nature of well that isn't really possible look at how powerless for example President Trump is when he's the most powerful man in the world etc etc. And, unlike my ordinary self I lashed out at him in rage because of how uncomfortable he had made me by saying this. You see, Caesar in the show was kind of a dick, a hardcore stage red stereotypical ruthless dictator, whereas my ordinary self was basically at stages blue and orange. Consequently, there was struggle between my selves the apogee of which was me nearly vomiting when trying to fall asleep.

 

I woke up the next day, retaining all the insights I had gained and with my usual ego effectively free of Caesar's influence intact. I hadn't exactly been God realized at this point, that would occur in the future which I will describe in other posts. But I did realize that humans could affect reality with their minds, and thus I began to study the Occult. A year later, in August of 2019(lol, why do these things happen to me in August?) I started training to develop psychic abilities. The program I used I won't mention since it's a paid course. But basically it uses a combination of affirmations, binaural beats, chakra notes, and a few other audio technologies to reprogram the mind to remote view. I did the whole course, and wanted to test my ability. You see at the time, I hadn't fully realized how worthless money was, so I wanted to hit the lottery on purpose. I went to a mega-millions random number generator, the resulting values I remote viewed ahead of time. Every single number predicted was correct, but 4 of them and the mega-ball were in the wrong order, so if the first ball had been 13 and the 4th was 52 I had the 4th as 13 and the first as 52. I was presented with sort of a glass half full, glass half empty situation. On the one hand, I had made highly accurate predictions that seem to be much better than random, on the other hand it wasn't perfect. I was displeased that I had failed, and basically wound up giving up on the course for a long time. Now, I realize that what doing the same thing over and over doesn't produce exactly the same results by virtue of the fact that it's actually not the same thing but different. Kind of like learning to walk, you watch toddlers get up and fumble but then they try basically the same thing and eventually fail their way to success.

 

To avoid making this too long, I won't discuss my escapades into lucid dreaming that followed here. But I will leave you with this. My basic technique of "becoming" another person by repeating their thoughts mentally in real-time seems in my experience to literally alter every aspect of your being to approximate that of the other. Because of this, it might just be possible to "catch" a psychedelic trip from another person. Therefore I promulgate the hypothesis that accomplishing a high state of consciousness through this method is possible. And therefore, in order to put this notion to the test, tomorrow I'm going to try to become Leo tripping on 5 MEO. If my experiment is successful, I'll upload a trip report calling the substance 5 LEO DMT lol.

[mandyjw]

You can be anyone you want to be, because you aren't a character, you're the author. There really isn't a you at all. 

[LastThursday]

@JuliusCaesar and all because you didn't want a deep voice. I wonder where that idea came from? The universe works in mysterious ways, nearly like there's a purpose to it.

[JuliusCaesar]

6 hours ago, mandyjw said:

You can be anyone you want to be, because you aren't a character, you're the author. There really isn't a you at all. 

Yes, I know that now. But three years ago I didn't. The point of this post was to sort of give you a foundational understanding of my journey towards God realization, and ultimately to the place in life "I" currently am in.

 

5 hours ago, LastThursday said:

@JuliusCaesar and all because you didn't want a deep voice. I wonder where that idea came from? The universe works in mysterious ways, nearly like there's a purpose to it.

The human species is at large a highly insecure organism. There are many people who don't love basic trivial things about themselves. I was lucky that my insecurities had good consequences for me.